Get Support And Treatment
The impact of untreated depression extends to all the people closest to the person with depression. It is accurate to state that in one way or another most of us have been impacted by depression. Treatment is vitally important to a persons recovery from depression. You can help your loved ones by helping them keep up with taking their medication and remembering appointments. You can also help them by reassuring them that asking for help is not a sign of weakness or something to be ashamed of.
When someone you care about is depressed, its OK for you to feel frustrated, angry, and upset. It is very important, however, that you dont allow these feelings to fester and grow. Therapists, counselors, and support groups are not only for people with depression. Seeking professional help for yourself can help you feel supported, vent your frustrations, and make you more aware of your own emotional needs. Therapy can also provide answers to any questions you have about coping with the depression of a loved one. Even if you dont go the mental health professional route, its important to lean on your support network during this difficult time.
Remember: You Dont Need To Stay With Them
If your relationship starts to drag you down and there are more bad days than good ones, its probably time to sit down and discuss whether this is right for you. Dont feel guilty, like youre abandoning your partner, or fret that they might sink deeper into their depression.
Remember that its their responsibility to manage their illness. So if theyre not putting in the effort and arent doing their share to make the relationship work, youre right to walk away.
While mental illness alone is not a reason to break up with someone, if this is causing other issues that you cannot work through, thats not a healthy place to be.
Here are some things you definitely should not look past:
- Abuse or violence
- Blackouts or hallucinations that lead to abuse or violence
- Lack of empathy for other people and animals
A mental illness does not give anyone an excuse to treat others poorly.
Am I Falling Out Of Love Or Just Depressed
Lately I have been dealing with some things and my anxiety and stress has been not so good . Anyways I haven’t been wanting sex or anything lately so I talked to my boyfriend about it and then he asked me if I loved him and I said of course but after that I’ve had this obsessive thought that I don’t love him anymore and that our relationship is going to end and I’m so terrified of losing him but again I have this thought and fear that I don’t love him anymore and it almost feels like my feelings are blocked and that I don’t love him but deep down I know I do but I still can’t shake the feeling and the thought and I get very anxious when im around him . I’ve talked to my mom but it still hasn’t helped . I’ve also talked to my boyfriend about it and he’s very understanding and saids nothing will happen to us . But I still get the thought that I don’t want him anymore and whenever I do I feel completely broken hearted and I just wanna cry because I don’t want to lose him . I feel so lost and confused I don’t know anymore am I just depressed or what is going on? I feel so lonely and upset. I don’t wanna be with anyone else I can’t even imagine it I just want him but I’m just so confused and I don’t know what to do ..
3 likes, 13 replies
No Energy To Engage With Others
Depression causes a person to become lethargic, fatigued, and also reduces the ability to concentrate and focus on daily tasks- even simple conversations.
This reduction in energy- both mental and physical- can often cause a person to retreat and isolate, sleep more, and become less active over all which can impact a persons ability to meet the demands of their daily life- including the demands of their relationships.
You might be struggling with the inability to meet your partners needs or be more irritable because you are more tired all the time which leads to fights.
Often, if you partner or you are unaware of what is happening to you, the tension that arises due to your inability to engage with your partner can cause fights and stress.
Stress in relationships often causes us to think negatively of the relationship and even our partners and ourselves.
Why Do Women Fall Out Of Love
Some reasons can make a woman fall out of love. It can happen when they dont feel appreciated. Which men usually do so well at the beginning of the relationship, but it gets lost somewhere along with it. It can also happen when the relationship doesnt bring them excitement anymore, and it turns boring.
Once the honeymoon phase is over, reality might sink in, and seeing their partner for who they are can make them fall out of love. As well as when they see that there are no physical or emotional connections with their partners.
Read Also: How To Stop Sleeping Too Much Depression
Does Depression Affect Your Ability To Love
The symptoms of depression such as lethargy, apathy, inability to concentrate and engage in life, lowered libido, feelings of worthlessness can impair a person to the point where they are unable to function as well as they usually would.
This involves their ability to love and care for their family, partner, and friends. They are often unable to tolerate stress or meet their own needs let alone the needs of others.
He Does Not Want To Be Depressed
Depression is not a choice. If any man with depression had a choice, he would choose to be rid of it.
One of the most hurtful things you can do to a man with depression is say that it is his fault, that he could choose to be better if his will or character was stronger. Men have a responsibility to try to overcome their depression symptoms so they dont negatively affect the ones they love. Even the strongest men, however, are not immune to illness and cannot cure it alone.
If the behavior hurts you emotionally, you should know he most likely did not intend to, said matchmaker Cassie Moffit, who has successfully matched couples with mental illness. Knowing this will allow you to be more patient and understanding.
Recommended Reading: Can Tms Make Depression Worse
When Someone You Love Has Depression
Depression builds walls around people and between people. When someone you love has been dragged inside those walls, there can be a distance between you both that feels relentless. You miss them, but theyre right there beside you, except that theyre kind of not. Not in the way you both want to be anyway.
The symptoms of depression exist on a spectrum. All of them are normal human experiences, but in depression theyre intensified. Not everyone who has depression will have a formal diagnosis, so knowing what to watch out for can help to make sense of the changes you might notice.
Depression looks like a withdrawal. It feels that way too. Its a withdrawal from everything that is enriching and life-giving. Depression sucks the life out of life. Thats how it feels. When depression bites, everything becomes hard. Life starts to hurt. Those who are bitten stop looking forward to things. They stop engaging and they stop enjoying things, even the things they used to love. They can feel hard to reach, and sometimes they can be angry or appear as though they dont care. That isnt because they want to withdraw from you or push you away, they dont, although it can feel that way.
Here are some ways to fight for them, beside them and for the times the fight has to be theirs, behind them:
Dating Someone With Depression: What You Should Know
Dating someone with depression can be tough. It is difficult to see someone you care about struggle and not be able to help them. If your loved one has depression, he or she may feel hopeless or show signs of social withdrawal, which can leave you feeling like you did something wrong when you did not. Understanding depression can help you communicate with your partner when their depression manifests. By learning and practicing new relational skills, you can foster connection and closeness with your partner, even when they are struggling with depression. You can learn how to support your partner and how to be supported.
Although, it might be time to be concerned about your relationship. You can definitely be in a healthy relationship with someone who has a mental illness but keep an eye out for when things get unhealthy. If any of the red flags come up, dont ignore them. Violence or abuse of any capacity should not be tolerated, regardless of mental illness status. Your safety is important, and that comes first.
Recommended Reading: Best Medicine To Treat Anxiety And Depression
Is Your Partner Depressed Or Just Not That Into You
by Patient Advocate
Loved ones often remark that depression has changed the person they love. They don’t know if the apapathy they experience is a symptom of the depression or if their partner has fallen out of love with them. This leads to questions like “If he or she gets treatment for depression, will he or she fall back in love with me?” Other follow up questions might be, “Should I wait for this person?” or “Can this relationship be saved?”
Is It Worth Being In A Relationship With Someone With Depression
This all depends on whether youre compatible, you see a future with them, and theyre the person for you.
A great question to ask yourself is, do they meet your love vision ? Are you aligned when it comes to the big things in life? Do you share similar values, lifestyles, religious outlooks, have a similar relationship with money, etc.?
If the answer is yes, its worth being in a relationship with someone with depression. Youre with them for who they are, and although their illness will be another challenge in your relationship, this shouldnt put you off trying to make it work.
Don’t Miss: Natural Ways To Improve Depression
Know That Things Might Not Always Go As Planned
Depression can make it tough to do even the things you really want to do, and your partner may not always feel up to following through with plans.
Its understandable to feel disappointed when they spend your long-awaited vacation scrolling through their phone while you see the sights. You might feel hurt when they spend your birthday asleep or cant make it to dinner with your parents, again.
Perhaps youve even noticed theyve lost interest in things you usually do togetherdiscussing your day, preparing meals, or having sex. You might feel rejected and begin to believe they dont care about you.
This disinterest, known as anhedonia, happens commonly with depression. Treatment can help renew their interest and energy, but in the meantime, offer compassion instead of criticism by validating their feelings.
- Instead of: You never want to spend time with me anymore.
- Try: Im sorry you cant make it to the movies tonight. I understand you dont have the energy when you feel so low. How would you feel about ordering some takeout and watching a movie at home?
Even if you wonder what your friends think when you regularly show up to hangouts alone, avoid saying anything your partner hasnt given you permission to share. A simple, They couldnt make it may not satisfy anyones curiosity but that doesnt matter. What does matter is honoring the trust theyve placed in you.
and patterns of negative thinking.
Your partner might say things like:
Can Depression Prevent You From Falling In Love
People with depression often struggle with the symptom of apathy and disinterest. They struggle with what is called anhedonia where they feel no pleasure or no positive emotions- which makes it incredibly difficult for them to acknowledge feelings of love from others or themselves.
This makes it hard for them to love or care for another person during their depressive episode.
Also Check: Depression Medicine That Helps With Weight Loss
Icipate In Your Partners Healing
Depression is treatable. Therapy, medications, and lifestyle changes can help people get better. Professional therapists are trained to support people in managing their depression symptoms. If youre dating someone with depression, encourage them to get help. And remember, if youre juggling depression and love, the best thing you can do is be your partners cheerleader, support them within their boundaries, and recognize the hard work theyre putting into healing.
At Rosglas Recovery, our expert psychologists take a comprehensive and holistic approach totreating depression. Besides evaluating the biological factors that could be causing depression, we also take into account the social and lifestyle factors that are unique to each individual. If youre dating a person who is struggling with depression, dont wait until your relationship has been damaged permanently. Talk to us today and take the first step toward healing.
Communicating With Your Partner
Communication is important when you are trying to love and support your depressed partner. It helps to practice new, more effective ways of communicating to navigate and help them through this difficult time. You’ll want to reconsider how you approach communication. Often, depression is fueled by cognitive distortions and negative thinking patterns.³
It’s understandable that you’ll likely want to reassure your partner and tell them that certain beliefs they have are completely false, which may include things like:
They can’t do anything right
They’ll never get better
Nobody would care if they disappeared right now
Try to validate their feelings without agreeing with them. This is more effective than attempting to refute their negative thoughts and beliefs. Draw their attention to their positive traits and strengths instead.
Encourage them to question the negative thoughts and beliefs they hold. For instance, you can ask them to name one thing they do right, or remind them of something they do well. This can gradually help your partner to see that their thoughts arent based on reality and they have an overly negative perception of themselves.
Also Check: Blood Test For Depression Medicine
How Partners Can Help
For partners of people with depression, it is important for them to understand that they cannot treat someones mental health condition. They also cannot make someone seek help if they do not want to.
What partners can do is offer understanding, love, and compassion. If someone feels that they are in a loving and secure relationship, they may feel more supported in seeking treatment.
Some other things that partners can do to help include:
- Learning about depression: People can educate themselves about depression, how it affects people, and its treatment options to gain a better understanding of what their partner is going through.
- Providing a safe space: Give the person with depression space to share their thoughts and feelings without judgment. Validate these thoughts and feelings.
- Offering practical support: When necessary, partners can help with tasks that the person finds difficult, such as cooking meals or going to appointments.
- Setting boundaries and expectations: Although support is essential, there are limits to what partners can do to help. It is important to ensure that both people understand this and that limitations in support are not due to a lack of care.
It is also important that partners look after their own mental health when caring for someone with depression. They may wish to consider speaking with a therapist themselves.
Here are some answers to questions people often ask about relationship depression.
And Look After Yourself
When youre in a relationship with someone who suffers from depression, your focus and attention can naturally shift to them, and in the process, you might end up neglecting your mental health.
Remember, you cant look after anyone else if youre not taking care of yourself. So be sure to make yourself a priority. Make time for self-care. Get a good sleep each night. Eat a balanced, nutritious diet. Get some exercise and fresh air every day. Enjoy the hobbies you love. Spend time with your loved ones.
When you take care of yourself, youll be in a much stronger position to support your partner, and you might even inspire them to take better care of themselves.
Also Check: How To Get Assessed For Depression
How To Encourage Your Partner To Get Help
It can be difficult to get your depressed partner to start treatment. Depression saps motivation and energy, so things like finding a doctor and even making an appointment can seem daunting to your depressed partner.
There are also negative thinking patterns involved, where your partner might believe their situation is hopeless and that it’s pointless to seek treatment.
If your partner resists getting help:
Encourage them to see a doctor for a general check-up
Offer to help them find a doctor or therapist
Let them know you’ll go with them to their appointment
How Do I Tell My Partner I Dont Love Them Anymore
Telling someone you dont love them anymore is always difficult. So try to keep in mind how hurtful this can be, and all the history you share. Be sensible and try to do it in a comfortable place, and private, so you can have this difficult task.
Explain to them what has changed from your perspective. And explain that since things have changed, you cant be a good partner anymore. They might ask you what happened, and if there is anything that can be done to change your mind. You may try to explain it briefly, but mostly show just how this is not working for you anymore.
You dont need to play the blame game. And once you decide that there is no way back, let them know that there is no hope for this. Take charge of your feelings, and speak about them. That may be hard since people usually want to avoid uncomfortable conversations.
So say what you mean, and dont suggest you can be friends. This can be misleading, and imply that friendship is a consolation prize. They will need time to heal, give it to them.
Don’t Miss: Best Way To Beat Depression