How Do You Help Someone With Severe Depression

Do Something You Enjoy

Depression can push you to give in to your fatigue. It may feel more powerful than preferred emotions.

Try to push back and do something you love something thats pleasurable or meaningful. It could be playing an instrument, painting, hiking, or biking.

The byproduct of engaging in meaningful activities can be a lift in your mood or energy, which can further motivate you to continue to engage in helpful activities that help with navigating symptoms.

Research suggests that walks in nature may improve depressive symptoms in people with clinical depression.

Time in natural spaces may improve mood and cognition, and lower the risk of mental health disorders. However, theres only limited research on the direct effect of nature on those with clinical depression.

Consider taking a walk at lunch among the trees or spending some time in your local park. Or plan a weekend hike. These activities can help you reconnect with nature and soak in some rays at the same time.

Avoid Judgment And Blame

If someone you love is depressed and no longer able to do the activities they used to, including working or helping around the house, you may feel like they are lazy. When you get frustrated, try to remember that someone who is depressed isn’t lazythey’re ill.

Everyday activities like cleaning the house, paying bills, or feeding the dog may seem overwhelming, if not impossible, to someone who is depressed. If your loved one’s responsibilities around the house are piling up, you may not be able to take them on yourself.

In addition to resisting the urge to blame your loved one, try not to blame yourself either. Know that it’s OK if you need to ask for help.

What To Say When Someone Is Depressed Or Anxious

You could start the conversation by asking questions such as: It seems like things have been hard for you lately. Whats on your mind? and: What can I do to help?

Something Ive learnt is to ask sincere, open-ended questions like, How does this feel? So the other person can feel supported, comforted and safe, rather than being told what to do. ayrc_1904

When you want to bring up a sensitive issue with a friend, try to choose a time and place when youre both comfortable, relaxed and theres some privacy. Dont push them if they dont want to talk, and be there for them if they become upset. You might not have an answer or a solution, but just being there to listen can be super helpful.

It might be difficult for your friend to accept your help continue to check in with them and let them know that you care about them, and that youre there for them if they need you.

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What Can You Say To Someone With Depression Instead

Dr. Jones said there are several ways to help someone who has depression.

• Ask them how they are feeling, acknowledge that you accept that their feelings are real, and support them in getting the help they need. Asking someone what they need can be helpful, but sometimes people dont know what they need or dont believe they can be helped, Dr. Jones said.
• Offer to spend time with them in ways they can handlemaybe that means watching a movie at home together or sharing a quiet meal. Be sure to say something like, Can I go for a walk with you? rather than You should go for a walk.
• Ask if you can help with chores or cooking. Dr. Jones said, Small tasks can seem daunting, and as things pile up, a person who is depressed may begin to ruminate on those things they arent doing.
• Try to remove the barriers to treatmentyou may want to offer to help them make appointments, for example.
• Instead of offering solutions or advice, say something like, Is this something where you want advice, or is it helpful just to say it out loud so I can listen?

Keep in mind that most people with depression are aware of their impact on others. They probably know their family and friends want them to get better and wish they didnt feel this way. This feeling is often so intense that they may feel like a burden, Dr. Jones said.

Depression Is Different From Sadness Or Grief/bereavement

The death of a loved one, loss of a job or the ending of a relationship are difficult experiences for a person to endure. It is normal for feelings of sadness or grief to develop in response to such situations. Those experiencing loss often might describe themselves as being depressed.

But being sad is not the same as having depression. The grieving process is natural and unique to each individual and shares some of the same features of depression. Both grief and depression may involve intense sadness and withdrawal from usual activities. They are also different in important ways:

• In grief, painful feelings come in waves, often intermixed with positive memories of the deceased. In major depression, mood and/or interest are decreased for most of two weeks.
• In grief, self-esteem is usually maintained. In major depression, feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing are common.
• In grief, thoughts of death may surface when thinking of or fantasizing about joining the deceased loved one. In major depression, thoughts are focused on ending ones life due to feeling worthless or undeserving of living or being unable to cope with the pain of depression.

Grief and depression can co-exist For some people, the death of a loved one, losing a job or being a victim of a physical assault or a major disaster can lead to depression. When grief and depression co-occur, the grief is more severe and lasts longer than grief without depression.

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What Are The Signs And Symptoms Of Depression

Common symptoms of depression include:

• Persistent sad, anxious, or empty mood
• Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism
• Feelings of irritability, frustration or restlessness
• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
• Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies or activities
• Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
• Difficulty sleeping, early morning awakening, or oversleeping
• Changes in appetite or unplanned weight changes
• Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems without a clear physical cause and that do not ease even with treatment
• Suicide attempts or thoughts of death or suicide

If you or someone you know is in immediate distress or is thinking about hurting themselves, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline toll-free at 1-800-273-TALK . You also can text the Crisis Text Line or use the Lifeline Chat on the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline website.

Do The Opposite Of What The Depression Voice Suggests

The automatic, unhelpful voice in your head may talk you out of self-help. However, if you can learn to recognize it, you can learn to work through it.

If you believe an event wont be fun or worth your time, say to yourself, You might be right, but itll be better than just sitting here another night. You may soon see the automatic thought isnt always helpful.

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Treatment Can Help People Recover From Depression

Supporting someone in finding treatment, whether thats in person or through a virtual clinic, is important, Dr. Jones said. Effective treatments for depression include cognitive behavioral therapy, medication, transcranial magnetic stimulation, electroconvulsive therapy and ketamine. People can get better and recover from depression and helping them take those early steps to set up the appointment or even driving them can be impactful, Dr. Jones said.

Helping Someone With Clinical Depression And Alcoholism

Depression and alcohol abuse are serious disorders that should be treated in a clinical setting. Of course, getting your loved one to agree to treatment is often an immense hurdle. If theyve been denying or making excuses for their drinking habits, confronting a family member about your concerns can be tricky. However, talking to them is the first step in helping them.

Though family interventions can work in some instances, theyre usually reserved as a last-ditch effort after failed attempts to talk one-on-one. When you approach your loved one about their mental health and excessive alcohol consumption, its crucial to avoid blaming or shaming them. They should feel as if your concerns come from a place of love and that you genuinely want to help them.

To avoid making them feel guilty, it might help to acknowledge that alcoholism is a mental illness and let them know you dont like seeing them suffer. Allow them to respond to your concerns with fears or worries of their own. Try not to become overly emotional, inpatient, or raise your voice, as this can make them defensive.

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Allow Yourself To Feel What Youre Feeling

Depression and anxiety are medical conditions, not the result of failure or weakness, and theyre absolutely not your fault.

Without a doubt, the unwanted emotions they cause can lead to plenty of distress. But knowing depression and anxiety result from underlying causes and triggers, not anything you did or didnt do, can promote self-compassion instead of criticism or self-punishment.

How Can Friends And Family Help

This information is for friends and family who want to support someone with depression.

The support of friends and family can play a very important role in someone recovering from depression. Here are some suggestions for how you can help.

• Support them to get help. You can’t force anyone to get help if they don’t want it, so it’s important to reassure your loved one that it’s OK to ask for help, and that there is help out there. See our pages on how to support someone else to seek help for their mental health for more information.
• Be open about depression. Lots of people can find it hard to open up and speak about how they’re feeling. Try to be open about depression and difficult emotions, so your friend or family member knows that it’s OK to talk about what they’re experiencing.

“The best things that friends and family can do is simply listen. They often don’t need to say anything, just being willing to listen to your problems makes you feel less alone and isolated”

• Keep in touch. It might be hard for your loved one to have the energy to keep up contact, so try to keep in touch. Even just a text message or email to let them know that you’re thinking of them can make a big difference to how someone feels.

“Talking… not even talking about how I felt. Just talking about stupid things that didn’t matter over coffee, without pressure and knowing that I can talk about the tough stuff if I want to.”

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Encourage Treatment For Symptoms

People with depression may not recognize or acknowledge their symptoms. They may have difficulty seeing the point of getting treatment.

Here’s what you can do to help:

• Talk to the person about what you’ve noticed and why you’re concerned.
• Explain that depression is a complex condition, not a personal flaw or weakness and that effective treatment exists.
• Suggest seeking help from a health care or a mental health professional, such as a licensed counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist. Often, the best place to start for a referral is your primary care provider, especially if a trusting relationship has been established.
• Offer to help prepare a list of questions and notable changes to discuss at an initial consultation.
• Express your willingness to help by setting up appointments, going along to them and attending family therapy sessions.

Remember People Do Recover From Depression

It can be hard when youre in the middle of the storm with a depressed friend to remember that there was a time before, and hopefully an after, this miserable state. But its essential to remind yourself and the person youre trying to help that people do emerge from depression. Because they do.

I have seen it.Every single one of the experts quoted here has seen it, too. But it will take patience and time.

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Connect Them With A Social Worker

If your loved one is working with a mental health therapist, they can be referred for case management services through the mental health center. If not, you can help them reach out to a social worker or county caseworker. They are professionals who support someone with severe depression access community resources to improve their health.

A few examples of resources available include the following:

• Medical professionals

Helping someone be successful in other areas of their life may help ease their depressive symptoms.

Understanding The Connection Between Depression And Alcohol Abuse

While the prevalence of co-occurring disorders is clear, the link between depression and alcohol abuse is more complex. However, understanding the connection is a critical preliminary step to helping someone get treatment at a rehabilitation center.

The link between depression and addiction is pretty straightforward those battling depression often self-medicate by drinking alcohol, as the sedative effects of drinking can temporarily numb the symptoms of a mood disorder. Alcohol is a highly addictive substance, and when used as a way to escape psychological turmoil, alcohol dependence can develop quickly. When a person is chemically dependent on alcohol, they have a constant urge to drink and often feel as if they need it to function normally.

In many cases, depression leads a person to alcohol abuse and eventually, alcoholism. But in some situations, its the other way around. Excessive alcohol abuse can wreak havoc on an individuals life and end up causing depression. In any event, both conditions affect the way a person thinks and behaves. When left untreated, the effects of co-occurring substance abuse and mental illness can become rapidly worse.

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You Can Move Forward In The Face Of Your Depression

Some people believe that having depression makes them weak or broken. The truth is that every day they get out of bed, go to work, or move forward while living with depression is proof of their ability to keep going.

Depression can feel like a weight on your chest. For some people, it can be a disability.

However, every day that someone keeps going while theyre living with depression is proof they can keep going.

Offer To Help With Everyday Tasks

With depression, day-to-day tasks can feel overwhelming. Things like laundry, grocery shopping, or paying bills can begin to pile up, making it hard to know where to start.

Your friend may appreciate an offer of help, but they also might not be able to clearly say what they need help with.

So, instead of saying Let me know if theres anything I can do, consider saying, What do you most need help with today?

If you notice their refrigerator is empty, say Can I take you grocery shopping, or pick up what you need if you write me a list? or Lets go get some groceries and cook dinner together.

If your friend is behind on dishes, laundry, or other household chores, offer to come over, put some music on, and tackle a specific task together. Simply having company can make the work seem less daunting.

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Psychological Treatments For Depression

Psychological treatments have been found to be an effective way to treat depression. They can help you change your thinking patterns and improve your coping skills so youre better equipped to deal with lifes stresses and conflicts.

As well as supporting your recovery, psychological therapies can help you stay well by identifying and changing unhelpful thoughts and behaviour.

There are several different types of psychological treatments including:

• cognitive behaviour therapy
• behaviour therapy
• mindfulness-based cognitive therapy .

CBT is one of the most commonly used psychological therapies. It helps people with depression to monitor and change negative patterns of thinking and improve their coping skills so they are better equipped to deal with lifes stresses and conflicts.

Support Your Loved One In Their Day

While starting treatment is a crucial component to managing depression, your loved one may still need help with their daily functioning. One good way to help may be offering to go to a therapy appointment with them to hear directly from their mental healthcare provider, says Michelle Riba, MD, a clinical professor of psychiatry and associate director of the Comprehensive Depression Center at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor.

You can also offer to help them with tasks that may feel overwhelming, like grocery shopping, laundry, or cleaning the house, or simply suggest you take a quick walk around the block together to get them out and about, Dr. Riba says.

Establishing a routine is also very helpful, says Thames. You might try to make that walk happen every day, for example. Regular physical activity can help ease stress and release endorphins and other neurotransmitters, or chemicals in the brain, that play a role in boosting mood, Thames says.

One form of treatment for depression is behavioral activation, which involves engaging in activities one find meaningful, such as doing an enjoyable form of exercise or volunteering, according to the Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy in Bala Cynwyd, Pennsylvania.

Encouraging your loved one to do activities that give them personal satisfaction is important but dont go overboard with activities and socializing, Thames cautions.

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Encourage Them To Seek Help

While there are several different treatments for those with depression that can be very helpful, depression treatment can never begin if a person doesnt seek help. If you have a friend or family member living with depression, encourage them to seek treatment and do what you can to help them take the first step. Without professional intervention, they will be less likely to recover from their depression.