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How To Convince A Depressed Person To Get Help

How Can I Help Someone With Depression

How to Help Someone Who’s Lonely, Isolated, or Depressed

Depression is a serious but treatable disorder that affects millions of people, from young to old and from all walks of life. It gets in the way of everyday life, causing tremendous pain, hurting not just those suffering from it but also impacting everyone around them.

If someone you love is depressed, you may be experiencing any number of difficult emotions, including helplessness, frustration, anger, fear, guilt, and sadness. These feelings are all normal. Its not easy dealing with a friend or family members depression. And if you neglect your own health, it can become overwhelming.

That said, your companionship and support can be crucial to your loved ones recovery. You can help them to cope with depression symptoms, overcome negative thoughts, and regain their energy, optimism, and enjoyment of life. Start by learning all you can about depression and how to best talk about it with your friend or family member. But as you reach out, dont forget to look after your own emotional healthyoull need it to provide the full support your loved one needs.

Understanding depression in a friend or family member

Depression is a serious condition. Dont underestimate the seriousness of depression. Depression drains a persons energy, optimism, and motivation. Your depressed loved one cant just snap out of it by sheer force of will.

How Can I Help Someone Else Seek Help

Many people experiencing a mental health problem will speak to friends and family before they speak to a health professional, so the support you offer can be really valuable. This page covers:

If you regularly support someone with a mental health problem you might be considered a carer. See our page on for more information.

Under 18? We have information for you on how to support a friend or partner who’s struggling

Bipolar Disorder And The Family

Living with a person who has bipolar disorder can cause stress and tension in the home. On top of the challenge of dealing with your loved ones symptoms and their consequences, family members often struggle with feelings of guilt, fear, anger, and helplessness. Ultimately, the strain can cause serious relationship problems. But there are better ways to cope.

The first step to successfully dealing with bipolar disorder is for families to learn to accept the illness and its difficulties. When youre feeling frustrated or guilty, remember that bipolar disorder isnt anyones fault. Accepting bipolar disorder involves acknowledging that things may never again be normal.

Treatment can make a huge difference for your loved one, but it may not take care of all symptoms or impairments. To avoid disappointment and resentments, its important to have realistic expectations. Expecting too much of your family member can be a recipe for failure. On the other hand, expecting too little can also hinder their recovery, so try to find a balance between encouraging independence and providing support.

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What To Do In A Crisis Situation

If you believe your loved one is at an immediate risk for suicide, do NOT leave the person alone.

In the U.S., dial 911 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK.

In other countries, call your countrys emergency services number or visit IASP to find a suicide prevention helpline.

It may be hard to believe that the person you know and love would ever consider something as drastic as suicide, but a depressed person may not see any other way out. Depression clouds judgment and distorts thinking, causing a normally rational person to believe that death is the only way to end the pain he or she is feeling.

When someone is depressed, suicide is a very real danger. Its important to know the warning signs:

  • Talking about suicide, dying, or harming oneself
  • Preoccupation with death
  • Expressing feelings of hopelessness or self-hate
  • Acting in dangerous or self-destructive ways
  • Getting affairs in order and saying goodbye
  • Seeking out pills, weapons, or other lethal objects
  • Sudden sense of calm after a depression

If you think a friend or family member might be considering suicide, talk to him or her about your concerns as soon as possible. Many people feel uncomfortable bringing up the topic but it is one of the best things you can do for someone who is thinking about suicide. Talking openly about suicidal thoughts and feelings can save a persons life, so speak up if you’re concerned and seek professional help immediately!

How Can You Help Your Loved One Get Help

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1) Treat them as an adult. Although I was not a child psychologist and didn’t think I knew how to relate to them, I often found that children liked to see me. Eventually I came to the conclusion the reason children liked me was because I treated them as I would an adult. I listened to them, asked what they wanted, and I didn’t tell them what to do but asked if they wanted me to help. Then I gave them control over the options: We could do this or this. What do you think? This is especially important when helping young adults. They need to develop a sense of self-efficacythe belief that they have the ability to make a difference in their lives. The way to do this is to respect how they feel and think and their ability to make choices.

3) Respect differences. All lives are different and we can’t expect that someone should pursue the path we think is best. When my son was a teenager and played chess in tournaments I noticed that a number of the adult players lived in their cars and traveled from tournament to tournament to make a few bucks. I said to my son, I guess if that is what made you happy in life, I would be okay with it. He responded, It’s really hard to have a girlfriend living that way. But my point is that we can’t presume to know what is best for different people and we need to respect their life choices.

Also Check: Dealing With Depression During Divorce

Major Depression: Reasons Why People Avoid Treatment

If you feel depressed and are trying to deal with it on your own, see if any of these reasons ring true to you. If they do, then follow the expertsâ advice to get the help you need.

If I give it time, Iâll snap out of it. Although a case of the blues passes with time, clinical depression may linger indefinitely if not treated, says Erik Nelson, MD. People canât just snap out of being depressed. Sometimes depression has a biological cause. And like other medical conditions, it often requires treatment to control or heal it.

Waiting for depression to simply pass can be harmful for a number of reasons. For one, depression that goes untreated may become more severe, Nelson says. The longer the delay in treatment, the more difficult it may be to control, and the more likely it is to recur when treatment is stopped. There also is growing evidence that untreated depression can contribute to or worsen other medical problems. âHeart disease is the one that has been most linked to depression, but research also suggests a link between depression and metabolic issues such as obesity, diabetes, and diseases such as Alzheimerâs and cancer,â Nelson says.

Expert advice: Donât allow depression to linger. Speak to your doctor. If you find it difficult to seek treatment for a mental disorder, remember that treatment for it may help prevent serious health conditions like heart disease.

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Encouraging The Person To Get Help

While you cant control someone elses recovery from depression, you can start by encouraging the depressed person to seek help. Getting a depressed person into treatment can be difficult. Depression saps energy and motivation, so even the act of making an appointment or finding a doctor can seem daunting to your loved one. Depression also involves negative ways of thinking. The depressed person may believe that the situation is hopeless and treatment pointless.

Because of these obstacles, getting your loved one to admit to the problemand helping them see that it can be solvedis an essential step in depression recovery.

If your friend or family member resists getting help:

Suggest a general check-up with a physician. Your loved one may be less anxious about seeing a family doctor than a mental health professional. A regular doctors visit is actually a great option, since the doctor can rule out medical causes of depression. If the doctor diagnoses depression, they can refer your loved one to a psychiatrist or psychologist. Sometimes, this professional opinion makes all the difference.

Offer to help the depressed person find a doctor or therapist and go with them on the first visit.Finding the right treatment provider can be difficult, and is often a trial-and-error process. For a depressed person already low on energy, it is a huge help to have assistance making calls and looking into the options.

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How And When To Talk

No single method of communication works for everyone. A person can consider how they usually speak with the individual with depression which method offers the most intimacy and fosters the deepest dialogue?

In a 2017 poll, 86% of respondents said that face-to-face discussions of depression are the best option. However, some people may feel more comfortable texting.

There are some instances where it is not helpful or advisable to talk about mental health issues. Some tips include:

  • Do not bring up depression during a fight or a time of high stress.
  • Do not use depression as a shaming tactic.
  • Wait for a time when the person is reasonably calm.
  • Do not talk with someone when they are distracted or tired.
  • Avoid blindsiding the individual, such as by bringing depression up for the first time in a fight.

How To Help Someone With Depression Who Refuses Help

How to Help Someone with Depression – What Actually Helped Me!

By | Submitted On August 10, 2011

It can be very frustrating when someone close to us is suffering from depression or a related mental illness, and yet refuses to seek or accept any sort of help or treatment for their condition. Many people feel helpless or powerless when someone they care about is depressed and yet refuses to accept any kind of help. This article is intended to help people who are put in the position where someone dear to them is suffering from depression but does not seem open to any suggestions of therapy, counseling, or other types of help.

In many cases, there are quite a few simple things that you can do that will help a person to recover from depression, even if that person seems to refuse to seek treatment or accept any sort of help. Depression is complex, and there is often no quick-fix, but there are a few straightforward pieces of advice that, if followed, can make it much more likely that you will actually be able to help out a person who is struggling with depression.

Take care of yourself first:

Be cautious of recommending therapy to a person:

Although therapy or counseling can be one of the most powerful and effective ways of treating or overcoming depression, bringing up the subject of therapy to a depressed person can sometimes be difficult. Understanding why this is the case is important, even critical, if you want to actually help someone who is struggling with depression.

Help through more general means:

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What Practical Support Can I Offer

There are lots of practical things you can do to support someone who is ready to seek help. For example:

  • Look for information that might be helpful. When someone is seeking help they may feel worried about making the right choice, or feel that they have no control over their situation. Our page on will give you some ideas on what research you can do, and ways you can help someone think about what might work for them.
  • Help to write down lists of questions that the person you’re supporting wants to ask their doctor, or help to put points into an order that makes sense .
  • Help to organise paperwork, for example making sure that your friend or family member has somewhere safe to keep their notes, prescriptions and records of appointments.
  • Go to appointments with them, if they want you to even just being there in the waiting room can help someone feel reassured.
  • Ask them if there are any specific practical tasks you could help with, and work on those. For example, this could include:
  • offering them a lift somewhere
  • arranging childcare for them
  • taking over a chore or household task.
  • Learn more about the problem they experience, to help you think about other ways you could support them. Our website provides lots of information about different , including pages on what friends and family can do to help in each case.
  • What If I Don’t Know What To Say

    Don’t wait to talk just because you’re not sure what to say. You can keep it simple. You can start just by saying, “Got a minute? I need to talk.” Then say what’s on your mind. For example, “I’ve been feeling down a lot lately. I think I should talk to you about it.” The person you’re talking to might ask you to tell them more. Sometimes, that’s all it takes to get started talking.

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    Be Concerned If Your Loved One

    • Doesnt seem to care about anything anymore.
    • Is uncharacteristically sad, irritable, short-tempered, critical, or moody.
    • Has lost interest in work, sex, hobbies, and other pleasurable activities.
    • Talks about feeling helpless or hopeless.
    • Expresses a bleak or negative outlook on life.
    • Frequently complains of aches and pains such as headaches, stomach problems, and back pain.
    • Complains of feeling tired and drained all the time.
    • Has withdrawn from friends, family, and other social activities.
    • Sleeps less than usual or oversleeps.
    • Eats more or less than usual, and has recently gained or lost weight.
    • Has become indecisive, forgetful, disorganized, and out of it.
    • Drinks more or abuses drugs, including prescription sleeping pills and painkillers.

    Show Your Knowledge About Depression

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    A depressed person may not be aware he or she is ill and that the illness likely is treatable. It can be helpful to share a symptom list of depression so that your loved one can recognize what is going on. You might say something like, Some of the things that are concerning to me is that you havent gone to the gym in over a month, and you usually go three times a week.

    If you have personal positive experience with therapy, you can bring that up, or start a conversation about the unfortunate stigma around mental health and going to therapy.

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    When Your Loved One Refuses Help

    One of the most frustrating aspects of living with someone who has a mental illness is when that person refuses to get help. Often, seeing the individual’s pain and suffering, the parent or spouse desperately wants to help but feels helpless.

    Unfortunately, there’s no easy solution. And there’s certainly no quick solution which is often why family member’s attempts at solving the problem is more likely to cause a deterioration of the situationthey try quick fixes such as telling their family member what to do or giving ultimatums.

    The following doesn’t offer any magic words to use to convince your loved one to seek help. Instead, it describes a process of understanding your loved one better, improving your relationship, and helping to remove the obstacles to seeking help.

    Look For Signs That Treatment Is Working

    There are lots of little ways to tell when treatment works it will be clear in the ways that your loved one looks and acts, says Angelos Halaris, MD, PhD, a professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences and director of outpatient clinical services at the Loyola University Chicago Stritch School of Medicine.

    As they improve, someone with depression may start making better eye contact with you instead of looking down to avoid eye contact due to feeling vulnerable or anxious. Other signs of improvement, according to Dr. Halaris, include:

    • Smiling occasionally and having more relaxed instead of tense facial features
    • Having a calmer demeanor
    • Isolating less and interacting with people more
    • Eating and sleeping better

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    When Someone You Love Has Depression

    Depression builds walls around people and between people. When someone you love has been dragged inside those walls, there can be a distance between you both that feels relentless. You miss them, but theyre right there beside you, except that theyre kind of not. Not in the way you both want to be anyway.

    The symptoms of depression exist on a spectrum. All of them are normal human experiences, but in depression theyre intensified. Not everyone who has depression will have a formal diagnosis, so knowing what to watch out for can help to make sense of the changes you might notice.

    Depression looks like a withdrawal. It feels that way too. Its a withdrawal from everything that is enriching and life-giving. Depression sucks the life out of life. Thats how it feels. When depression bites, everything becomes hard. Life starts to hurt. Those who are bitten stop looking forward to things. They stop engaging and they stop enjoying things, even the things they used to love. They can feel hard to reach, and sometimes they can be angry or appear as though they dont care. That isnt because they want to withdraw from you or push you away, they dont, although it can feel that way.

    Here are some ways to fight for them, beside them and for the times the fight has to be theirs, behind them:

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