Plan Specific Ways To Get Together
Isolation is one of the most common symptoms of postpartum depression. You can help support a partner with depression by making plans with them, especially ones that allow for a little self-care. Go shopping for comfortable clothes that fit their postpartum body and help them feel confident.
If a friend or family member can watch the baby or you can afford to hire a babysitter, plan a movie date, or go out to dinner at one of your favorite restaurants.
Know That Postpartum Depression Looks Different For Everyone
Just because I dont look sad or depressed, doesnt mean I dont have PPD. I am a raging machine, consumed with anger over every little thing. I may not even know I have PPD because Im too far deep in the fog. My PPD can have a vast range of emotions and may not fit the mold of the brochures on display in the OB-GYN offices. I could be sad, full of rage, mad, anxious, obsessive-compulsive, neurotic, frustrated, disconnected, extremely exhausted, plagued by guilt, nauseous, worried, flaky, snippy and/or angry.
I might also be really good at faking it. You may see me and think, Wow! She looks fantastic. She doesnt even have a belly anymore, her laundry is perfectly folded and she doesnt have spit up on her shirt! And please, whatever you do, dont believe what you see on social media. For 15 seconds, I can put a bow on my babys head, smile, filter out my dark eyes and make it look like we just take cute pics all day long. While I may outwardly and physically appear like I have it all together, theres really a giant firey ball of hot mess trapped inside my head! I may be hiding my PPD because I dont want to admit Im not connecting with my baby, and Im most likely carrying a lot of guilt and feeling selfish for thoughts of longing for the life I had pre-baby.
Tips When You Want To Help Someone With Postpartum Depression
Postpartum depression affects as many as 10% of moms, yet the warning signs are hard to recognize for loved ones. Husbands grow frustrated with their wives if she doesnt want to bond with baby. Friends see exhaustion as just what happens when having a newborn.
Without understanding the symptoms of postpartum depression and knowing steps to take action, it can be hard to help someone in this.
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How Is Postpartum Depression Diagnosed
There is not a specific test that diagnoses postpartum depression. Your healthcare provider will evaluate you at your postpartum visit. This visit may include discussing your health history, how youâve felt since delivery, a physical exam, pelvic exam and lab tests. Many providers schedule visits at two or three weeks postpartum to screen for depression. This ensures you get the help you need as soon as possible.
They may do a depression screening or ask you a series of questions to assess if you have postpartum depression. They’ll ask how you’re feeling and how your baby is doing. Be open and honest with your provider to ensure they get an accurate picture of your emotions and thoughts. They can help distinguish if your feelings are typical or symptoms of postpartum depression.
Your healthcare provider may order a blood test because postpartum depression can cause symptoms similar to many thyroid conditions.
Remember, your healthcare provider is there to support you and make sure you are healthy, so be honest with them. There is no judgment, and you arenât alone in your feelings.
How To Help A Mom With Postpartum Depression
The baby blues typically last no longer than a couple of weeks and subside on their own. But what if the changes in disposition dont go away?
The American Psychological Association reports that up to 1 in 7 women experience a much more serious mood disorder following a childs birth postpartum depression. If you are a partner, spouse, family member or friend who may be concerned that a new mom might be dealing with postpartum depression, its time to be curious, ask questions of your loved one and listen closely.
Connect and Get Help
Certified childbirth educator Jessie Prim, who leads the Postpartum Support Group at Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital Plano, added that helping a new mom work through difficult postpartum emotions isnt about being confrontational. Rather, its a time to walk alongside the woman and ask questions that may help her understand what is going on with her physically, mentally and even spiritually.
Prim offers these behaviors to watch for as possible signs and symptoms of postpartum depression:
- Irritability, anger, nervousness, anxiety, or expressions of hopelessness or helplessness
- Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
- Low energy or fatigue
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Join An Online Support Group
Led by trained PSI facilitators, our online groups will connect you with other parents and provide helpful tools and resources. Whether you are going through stress, adjustment to parenting, Baby Blues, or pregnancy or postpartum depression/anxiety, our groups are here for you.
Do Not Confuse Postpartum Depression With Baby Blues
It is important to distinguish between the baby blues and post-partum depression. The baby blues are a normal and common reaction to the hormonal changes that occur after childbirth. They typically begin within a few days of delivery and last for two weeks or less. Symptoms of the baby blues can include mood swings, crying spells, irritability, and anxiety. While the baby blues can be disruptive, they do not typically interfere with a womans ability to care for her child.
Post-partum depression, on the other hand, is a more serious condition that can last for months and interfere with a womans ability to function. If you are experiencing symptoms of post-partum depression, it is important to seek professional help.
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Postpartum Depression Signs And Symptoms
Symptoms of postpartum depression can be hard to detect. Many women have these symptoms following childbirth:
- Trouble sleeping
- Feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and helplessness
- Thoughts of death or suicide
- Thoughts of hurting someone else
- Trouble concentrating or making decisions
Symptoms of obsessive compulsive disorder that are new rarely occur in the postpartum period . The obsessions are usually related to concerns about the baby’s health or irrational fears of harming the baby. Panic disorder may also happen. You can have these conditions and depression at the same time.
Untreated postpartum depression can be dangerous for new moms and their children. A new mom should seek professional help when:
- Symptoms persist beyond 2 weeks
- They canât function normally
- They can’t cope with everyday situations
- They have thoughts of harming themselves or their baby
- They’re feeling extremely anxious, scared, and panicked most of the day
Is Ppd The Same As The Baby Blues
No. PPD lasts longer and is more serious than baby blues. Baby blues are feelings of sadness you may have after having a baby. Baby blues can happen 2 to 3 days after you give birth and can last up to 2 weeks. You may have trouble sleeping, be moody or cranky, and cry a lot. If you have sad feelings that last longer than 2 weeks, tell your provider. She can check to see if you may have PPD.
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Guidance For Other Children
When a mother is suffering from postpartum depression, it can greatly affect her other children.
Children may become anxious or worried about their mother and why she doesnt seem to be herself. Many children, especially younger ones, may think they are to blame or feel desperate to help. It is important for family members to include the other children in the process with open communication.
While other children may not fully understand, they should receive reassurance that their mother is receiving treatment and that her condition will not last forever. Often this responsibility falls on the father, grandparents or aunts and uncles.
How To Help A New Parent
- Reassure them: this is not their fault they are not alone they will get better.
- Encourage them to talk about their feelings and listen without judgment.
- Help with housework before they ask you.
- Encourage them to take time for self-care. Breaks are a necessity fatigue is a major contributing factor to worsening symptoms.
- Dont expect them to complete all household tasks just because they are home all day.
- Be realistic about what time youll be home, and come home on time.
- Help them reach out to others for support and treatment.
- Schedule some dates with them and work together to find a babysitter.
- Offer simple affection and physical comfort, but be patient if they are not up for sex. Its normal for them to have a low sex drive with depression, and rest and recovery will help to bring it back.
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When To See Your Doctor
Although many women experience the baby blues in the first several weeks following delivery, PPD is marked by deeper and longer-lasting feelings of sadness and agitation. These feelings can get worse and become chronic depression without medical help.
Its a good idea to make an appointment with your doctor if you notice feelings of depression after birth, especially if they dont fade after a couple weeks or get worse with time. Only around 15 percent of women ever seek treatment for their symptoms, despite the importance of treatment. Your doctor can point you in the right direction to get the support you need.
How Is Ppd Treated
If you think you may have PPD, see your health care provider right away. Your provider can be:
- Your prenatal care provider. This is the provider who gave you medical care during pregnancy.
- Your primary care provider. This is your main health care provider who gives you general medical care.
- A mental health provider. This may be a psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, counselor or a therapist.
- Your babys health care provider
To find out if you have PPD, your provider asks you questions about how youre feeling. He wants to know if your feelings are causing problems in how you care for yourself and your baby. He may ask you to fill out a form called a depression screening questionnaire. Your answers on the form can help him find out if you have PPD.
Your provider may do tests to see if you have other health problems that may lead to PPD. For example, he may check your thyroid hormones. Low levels of thyroid hormones may lead to PPD.
The sooner you see your provider about PPD, the better. You can get started on treatment so you can take good care of yourself and your baby. Treatment can include:
- Counseling, like CBT and IPT
- Support groups. These are groups of people who meet together or go online to share their feelings and experiences about certain topics. Ask your provider or counselor to help you find a PPD support group.
- Medicine. PPD often is treated with medicine.
Medicines to treat PPD include:
If youre taking medicine for PPD:
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How Is Postpartum Depression Treated
Postpartum depression is treated differently depending on the type and severity of your symptoms. Treatment options include anti-anxiety or antidepressant medicines, psychotherapy and support group participation.
Treatment for postpartum psychosis may include medication to treat depression, anxiety and psychosis. You may also be admitted to a treatment center for several days until you’re stable. If you don’t respond to this treatment, electroconvulsive therapy can be effective.
If you are breastfeeding , don’t assume that you can’t take medicine for depression, anxiety or even psychosis. Talk to your healthcare provider about your options.
How To Help A Friend With Postpartum Depression
Categories
My newborn son, Henry, and I strolled through the aisles of a grocery store one cold winter day just weeks after his arrival. I took my time, appreciated the coos and compliments of strangers and worried about which ice cream flavor flavors? we should bring home.
An older woman approached, friend in tow, and I waited to hear which of his features she loved most. Instead she asked, Is he sleeping through the night yet? Her friend nodded, approving of this truly insane question. I tried to smile and said, Not yet.
Yeah sure, I thought. In the three weeks since weve met I mastered breastfeeding and got him on a solid sleep schedule oh, and did I mention he never cries? You gotta love the expectations of motherhood. Try as we might it can sometimes feel as though well never measure up.
But for moms dealing with postpartum depression, the gap between expectations and reality can be crushing. The understandable feelings of frustration and worry common among many new moms are experienced in overdrive with postpartum.1 And as a friend, you might feel unsure about the best way to provide support. So lets walk through it together.
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Causes Of Postnatal Depression
The cause of postnatal depression is not completely clear.
There are a number of things that may make you more likely to have postnatal depression. These include:
- a history of mental health problems, particularly depression, earlier in life
- a history of mental health problems during pregnancy
- having no close family or friends to support you
- a difficult relationship with your partner
- recent stressful life events, such as a bereavement
- physical or psychological trauma, such as domestic violence
Even if you do not have any of these, having a baby is a life-changing event that can sometimes trigger depression.
It often takes time to adapt to becoming a new parent. Looking after a baby can be stressful and exhausting.
What Can I Do To Help Her With Postpartum Depression
Of course, while scientists are at work trying to understand PPD for the future, families must deal with its very real consequences today. Here are some tips for helping a woman with postpartum depression:
Find support. Start with pactforthecure.com/resources.
Read up. Get educated on PPD.
Work as a team. Understand that postpartum depression is no ones fault.
Dont:
Invalidate. Dont say things like, You need to get over it.
Shameor guilther. Dont say things like, Stop feeling sorry for yourself or Whats the matter with you?
Compare. Dont talk about how well other new moms are doing in comparison to her.
The UNC Center for Womens Mood Disorders can help your family make it through postpartum depression. If you need help, call 974-5217 and choose option No. 3, or email .
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How To Successfully Offer Practical Help
I know you are wanting to help, thats why you are reading this article but dont fall into the trap of saying just let me know how I can help! Youll offer will probably not be taken up on because many women, especially women who are struggling with postpartum mood disorders, dont like to ask for help.
I have heard many of my clients say that they see needing help as some sort of mom failure. Moms are expected to be able to do this. Look around, these other moms are coping just fine. Of course, a lot of moms arent coping just fine, they just arent telling anyone. Accepting help and challenging the idea that all the other moms can do it all are some of the first things I work on with new moms but in the meantime, if you want to help, be persistent in your offers of help.
Can Ppd Affect Your Baby
Yes. PPD can make it hard for you to care for yourself and your baby. This is why its important to treat PPD as soon as possible. If PPD is untreated:
- You may skip your postpartum checkups and not follow instructions from your health care provider.
- You may find it hard to bond with your baby.
- Your baby may not breastfeed long. PPD may make it hard for you and your baby to get used to breastfeeding. Breast milk is the best food for your baby through the first year of life.
- Your baby may not get medical care he needs. PPD may make it hard for you to take care of your baby if shes sick. You may not see health problems in your baby that need quick attention and care. It may be hard for you to get your baby regular well-baby care, like vaccinations. Vaccinations help protect your baby from harmful infections.
- Your baby may have learning, behavior and development problems and mental health conditions later in life.
Getting treatment for PPD can help you feel better and be able to care for your baby. If you think you have PPD, tell your provider.
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Let Her Know She Is Not Alone
Just letting her know you are right there with her and will give her whatever support she needs will be a huge comfort. Next do a little research on her behalf and send her links to websites that talk about how common it is to for new moms to experience postpartum anxiety and/or depression .
As well as being a psychologist in private practice offering counseling to moms, I am the director of the Postpartum Depression Alliance of IL. Our website www.PPDil.org provides information and email and phone support from volunteers so if you didnt go through a postpartum mood disorder yourself and feel out of your depth, giving her the information of people who have been through it themselves and know how to help can be very useful.
The PPD Alliance of IL serves Illinois families but Postpartum Support International www.postpartum.net lists similar resources to ours across most of the states. Of course we dont turn anyone away and will offer support to all women who contact us and then link you up with your own state to find local support groups and professionals.