Wednesday, March 27, 2024

How To Help My 20 Year Old Son With Depression

Depression In Teens Vs Adults

How A 22-Year-Old Author Is Helping Kids Deal With Depression

Depression in teens can look very different from depression in adults. The following signs and symptoms are more common in teenagers than in their adult counterparts:

Irritable or angry mood. As noted, irritability, rather than sadness, is often the predominant mood in depressed teens. A depressed teenager may be grumpy, hostile, easily frustrated, or prone to angry outbursts.

Unexplained aches and pains. Depressed teens frequently complain about physical ailments such as headaches or stomachaches. If a thorough physical exam does not reveal a medical cause, these aches and pains may indicate depression.

Extreme sensitivity to criticism. Depressed teens are plagued by feelings of worthlessness, making them extremely vulnerable to criticism, rejection, and failure. This is a particular problem for over-achievers.

Withdrawing from some, but not all people. While adults tend to isolate themselves when depressed, teenagers usually keep up at least some friendships. However, teens with depression may socialize less than before, pull away from their parents, or start hanging out with a different crowd.

Is it depression or teenage growing pains?

My Son Is Depressed And I Don’t Know How To Help Him

My 22-year-old son was recently was diagnosed with clinical depression. He is always sad and fatigued. This has been going on for about the past six months. He is seeing a therapist once a week, but he always seems spaced out and very quiet. I am a hyper and outgoing person, and I am very worried that I don’t know how to communicate with him. I live in fear I may say something to hurt him, and I need advice about how to deal with all these issues it’s very scary and frustrating.

When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments which appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.

If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.

How Does Psychotherapy Work

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is a form of psychotherapy that can treat anxiety or depression in children. CBT helps children learn to think more positively and control negative behaviors. It can also help children manage anxiety by getting to the root of their fears and worries. Therapy gives children tools to cope with anxiety and depression in healthier ways.

Don’t Miss: Podcasts To Listen To When Depressed

What Causes Depression In Children And Teenagers

Usually, there is no one single cause of depression in children and teenagers. Sometimes depression appears out of the blue, while at other times something seems to trigger it. Often it is a combination of factors. Your child or teenager is more likely to experience depression if they:

  • experience a stressful event such as the break-up of parents, loss of a loved one or relationship break-up
  • have someone in the family who has depression, such as a parent or sibling
  • have experienced trauma, such as a significant injury or accident, or abuse
  • are going through major life changes, such as starting a new school or going to university
  • have significant physical illnesses
  • have a poor daily routine or are not involved in education, training or work
  • have been bullied or had other problems with peers
  • are LGBTI or feel different in some other way
  • use alcohol or recreational drugs.

If You Suspect Your Teen Is Depressed

How to Get a 7

Depression is such a persuasive beast, and it can convince anyone its holding onto that nothing will make a difference. This hopelessness is a classic symptom of depression, and the very thing that gets in the way of healing from it. If you suspect your teen might have depression, the first step is getting a diagnosis so everyone knows what theyre dealing with. A doctor or mental health professional can help with this. Depression doesnt always need medication, but it might. Having the support of a loving adult will be important for any teen who is trying to find their way through depression. If that supportive and loving adult is you, here are some things you can do to help your teen strengthen and heal:

Also Check: Sleep Medication For Anxiety And Depression

Let Him Know Hes Not Alone

Let him know hes not the only guy who is facing depression and that you are also not the only person who will support him. If there are other close friends or family members that can help, let him know he can reach out to any of them that there is a community of people behind him and a community of other men who have also successfully fought depression.

Show him our site and walk through it together. Visit our Youre Not Alone page to read more articles and over 40 stories from real men who have battled and overcome depression. Suggesting he take our Self Check may also help him realize how much depression may be affecting his life.

  • Plan to do some things together. Its important that he doesnt isolate himself from others in his life.
  • Going for a walk is a great way to be active and provide an opportunity to discuss things in a less intensive context.

Getting Your Teen Evaluated

A thorough evaluation by a professional is required to determine if your teen has depression, assess the severity of the problem, and weigh the treatment options.

Schedule an assessment for your teen with a medical doctor or mental health professional who specializes in helping teenagers. Seeing your child’s pediatrician can be a good first step.

Recommended Reading: I Am Very Sad And Depressed

Depression Can Make The Work Of Parenting Feel Impossible But Theres Consensus From Both Mental Health Experts And Parents Who Have Raised Their Children Amid Feelings Of Hopelessness And Despair: Help Is Out There And The Sooner You Access It The Better Life Will Be For You And Your Family

  • Email

When Maddie was single and in her early 20s, she began experiencing intense fatigue and lack of motivation, “a quiet undercurrent of sadness that was never so debilitating that I couldn’t get out of bed but that would flare up for months at a time.” Negative thoughts with themes of insecurity and fear of abandonment played on a loop in her mind. Upon seeing an Instagram pic of friends enjoying a night out, for instance, she’d hear a voice in her head, taunting, “Of course they didn’t invite you you’re boring and annoying.”

When the Seattle-based teacher was 29 and her elder daughter was 2 years old, the thoughts returned. Except now, they accused her of being a horrible mother. “I’d be bathing my daughter and worrying about when she’d stop loving me, or lying in bed next to my husband, thinking, ‘When will he figure out what a fraud I am and leave?’ The kids were at a hard age, motherhood still felt new, and I was overwhelmed with working and parenting, feeling like I was doing everything poorly,” Maddie says. “I’d get them to bed and sit on the stairs and cry, thinking, ‘They deserve better than me,’ but I had nothing left to give.”

Our 23 Year Old Son Refuses To Get Help For His Anxiety Attacks And Depression

How Do I Help My Son with his Depression?

Our son has been away at college and began suffering from anxiety attacks and depression about 2 years ago. He has had to drop out of college, lost his job and basically is doing a very poor job of making decisions in general. He lives 9 hours away. We have made numerous trips to get him help in his area, since he refuses to come home. He never follows through with any appointments we make and seems to be getting worse day by day. He currently has a prescription for Paxil, but Im not sure if he is taking it on a regular basis. He is very angry and not the same young man he was a few years ago. What can we do as parents, other than sit and watch him self-destruct?

You are describing a familiar scenario and it is always painful one for parents. However, as much as I want to be able to tell you what you can do to help your son, I must admit, there is really nothing to do. In fact, my educated guess is that, the more you push him to get himself help, the more he will be resistant. Here are some of the reasons why I believe there is not much to do:

1. At age 23, your son is still in a protracted adolescent stage of life. It is protracted because the complexity of life today, adolescence is extended into what would have been considered adulthood just 50 years ago. For that reason, his fighting you over getting help is part of that adolescent rebellion.

However:

I do have a couple of ideas that you might try but, in no way can I guarantee results:

Good Luck

Read Also: Christian Treatment Centers For Depression

What Depression Is And Isn’t

Of course, it’s hard to seek treatment if you’re not sure what it is that you’re experiencing. Both depression and anxietywhich may occur in tandemcan show up as irritability, forgetfulness, and anger. And although rage has long been ascribed to men, it can signal that a mom feels unheard and overburdened, her needs are not being fulfilled, and an underlying mood disorder may be brewing, says Sarah Oreck, M.D., a reproductive psychiatrist and mom in Los Angeles.

The National Institute of Mental Health uses the terms clinical depression and major depressive disorder interchangeably to refer to a severely low mood that persists for an extended period. These disorders go beyond feeling overwhelmed or having “the blues,” causing what experts term functional impairment, meaning a person is unable to parent, work, or go about the day as they once did. This impairment can arise when certain risk factorsgenetic predisposition, personality, brain chemistry, a history of mental-health issues, or adverse life eventsconverge, explains Dr. Smith. In the case of postpartum depression, which afflicts roughly one in four new moms in the three years after they give birth, it can erupt from “hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, and the burden of caring for a baby’s every need,” Dr. Oreck says.

When Should I Call The Doctor

Call a healthcare provider if your child has any signs of depression or anxiety. If your child is showing signs of suicide, get help right away. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800.273.8255. This hotline connects you to a national network of local crisis centers for free and confidential emotional support. The centers support people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. In an emergency, call 911.

A note from Cleveland Clinic

While it may be difficult to watch your child dealing with depression or anxiety, help is available. The right treatment can ensure your child continues to grow and thrive throughout their development. In addition to medical help, you can support your child by making sure they have a healthy environment at home, at school and in the community. Always let your child know they can communicate openly and honestly about their feelings.

Last reviewed by a Cleveland Clinic medical professional on 11/17/2020.

References

Also Check: Genetic Testing For Depression Meds

Tips For Helping A Depressed Teen

If you are concerned that your teen may be depressed, but they appear uninterested in getting help or perhaps outright refuse it, there are steps that you can take to help them. Proceed with gentle but firm methods to persuade your teen to get help. These varied approaches have all been effective in helping depressed teens move forward.

Tip : Support Your Teen Through Depression Treatment

Tackling bullying could help reduce depression in autistic teens

As your depressed teenager goes through treatment, the most important thing you can do is to let them know that youre there to listen and offer support. Now more than ever, your teenager needs to know that theyre valued, accepted, and cared for.

Be understanding.Living with a depressed teenager can be difficult and draining. At times, you may experience exhaustion, rejection, despair, aggravation, or any other number of negative emotions. During this trying time, its important to remember that your child is not being difficult on purpose. Your teen is suffering, so do your best to be patient and understanding.

Stay involved in treatment. Make sure your teenager is following all treatment instructions, whether its attending therapy or correctly taking any prescribed medication. Track changes in your teens condition, and call the doctor if depression symptoms seem to be getting worse.

Be patient. The road to your depressed teenagers recovery may be bumpy, so be patient. Rejoice in small victories and prepare for the occasional setback. Most importantly, dont judge yourself or compare your family to others. As long as youre doing your best to get your teen the necessary help, youre doing your job.

Read Also: Major Depressive Disorder Clinical Trials

I Lost My Baby At 36 Weeks & It Devastated Me Now I Help Others Say Goodbye To Theirs Through Life

  • As told to: Amanda Chalmers
  • 0:01, 7 Aug 2022

SHARON Luca-Chatha, 46, lives in Coventry with her husband Jas, 44, a program planner, and son Ky, nine.

As the doctor gave us the devastating news, my husband fell to his knees.

Four weeks before my due date, our baby had gone. We clung to each other, unable to make sense of it.

It had been the first day of my maternity leave in June 2012 when, after dinner, wed settled down to watch the Euros.

I was pregnant with our first child, a boy, and he always seemed to kick more when football was on TV.

We used to joke hed be a footballer, but on this occasion he was unusually quiet.

Making A Support Plan

If your child is experiencing depression and needs ongoing support, it can be helpful to create a support plan together with the professionals around your child so that you know exactly what help is available and how your child can access it. This could include things like:

  • agreements with their GP, or their key worker if they are being treated by CAMHS, about when they will next check-in
  • whether any referrals can be made to other services, and a list of the services available locally that might be able to support them
  • what your childs school can offer including a staff member who they can speak to when theyre struggling.
  • people your child trusts and can talk to when they need to, including family and friends.

You can find out more about speaking to GPs, finding a counsellor or therapist, accessing Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services , getting help from your childs school and finding local services on our guide to getting help.

Read Also: Causes Of Depression Scholarly Articles

Medication Comes With Risks

Antidepressants were designed and tested on adults, so their impact on young, developing brains is not yet fully understood. Some researchers are concerned that exposure to drugs such as Prozac may interfere with normal brain developmentparticularly the way the brain manages stress and regulates emotion.

Antidepressants also come with risks and side effects of their own, including a number of safety concerns specific to children and young adults. They are also known to increase the risk of suicidal thinking and behavior in some teenagers and young adults. Teens with bipolar disorder, a family history of bipolar disorder, or a history of previous suicide attempts are particularly vulnerable.

The risk of suicide is highest during the first two months of antidepressant treatment. Teenagers on antidepressants should be closely monitored for any sign that the depression is getting worse.

Teens on antidepressants: Red flags to watch out for

  • New or more thoughts/talk of suicide
  • Suicidal gestures or attempts
  • Hyperactive speech or behavior
  • Other unusual changes in behavior

Helping A Depressed Teen Tip : Encourage Social Connection

Rare disorder may explain 11-year-old’s sudden odd tics and moodiness: 20/20 Jul 20 Part 2

Depressed teens tend to withdraw from their friends and the activities they used to enjoy. But isolation only makes depression worse, so do what you can to help your teen reconnect.

Make face time a priority. Set aside time each day to talktime when youre focused totally on your teen, without distractions or trying to multi-task. The simple act of connecting face to face can play a big role in reducing your teens depression. And remember: talking about depression or your teens feelings will not make the situation worse, but your support can make all the difference in their recovery.

Combat social isolation. Do what you can to keep your teen connected to others. Encourage them to go out with friends or invite friends over. Participate in activities that involve other families and give your child an opportunity to meet and connect with other kids.

Try to reduce their social media use. Remind your teen that social media isnt an ideal substitute for face-to-face interactions. Encourage them to turn off their phoneor at least disable notificationswhen socializing in person, focusing on work, or preparing for bed.

Get your teen involved. Suggest activitiessuch as sports, after-school clubs, or an art, dance, or music classthat take advantage of your teens interests and talents. While your teen may lack motivation and interest at first, as they reengage with the world, they should start to feel better and regain their enthusiasm.

Don’t Miss: Va Rating For Major Depressive Disorder Recurrent Moderate

Popular Articles
Related news