How To Help A Teenager With Anxiety
Inside: How to help a teenager with anxiety. 15 practical and proven strategies recommended by psychologists
Its sad to acknowledge that anxiety is the defining illness of our era. It speaks to our lifestyles, our social and economic climate and arguably our lack of enough real connection. It is sadder still to recognise that this illness is now affecting 7% of children aged four to seventeen.
When we picture a young person with anxiety, we often think of a withdrawn, quiet soul who avoids making decisions and eye contact. However, the reality is these kids can present with any number of behaviours, including temper tantrums, aggression or repetitive behaviours. What they all have in common is the feeling of being completely overwhelmed. It is an uncomfortable, distressing condition whichever form it takes.
Connecting Teen Depression And Anxiety
As an anxiety expert, I often talk to teens who are also depressed. Why?
Because an untreated anxiety disorder in a child is one of the top predictors of developing depression as a teen or young adult, a fact that most teens and parents are unaware of. And because anxiety is the chief mental health complaint of young people, its not surprising that rates of depression in teens is increasing.
Adolescence is often the time when longer term issues with anxiety and worry become more intense and isolating. The challenges of social life and increased academic pressures push kids toward brand new experiences and responsibilities, along with the shadow side of hesitation and insecurity.
Specific learning difficulties can surface as students take on more complicated tasks or have to speak up in class. Sports become more demanding, and hormones can wreak havoc with appearance. Whether social, intellectual or physical, anything can serve as a source of worry.
Teens are caught between wanting to achieve and being afraid of failing, of wanting to belong and fearing rejection.
When teens believe they wont measure up or when they expect rejection, they withdraw.
No degree of reassurance or encouragement seems to be enough, because you cant give your teen what shes looking for: a guarantee that everything will turn out perfectly.
Giving Up Sugar Tasting God’s Goodness
As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still pedaling away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.
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Talk To Them About How They Feel
If your teenager becomes wary of talking at length when the conversation is focused on school achievements or what events are planned into their daily routine, try to find out more about how they feel. Get clued up on how anxiety works in children first so you know how best to approach the conversation.
Asking them what they have enjoyed or not enjoyed during their day can provide a glimpse into how they feel about their daily struggles, including relationships with peers and how they view themselves as soon-to-be-adults in the wider world.
How To Help And Support A Teen With Depression
Theres no one size fits all treatment for depression. Everyone experiences it differently and needs different types of support. Be open to learning what the different options are, and work with your child to help them decide which one will best suit them.
If your childs depression is significantly affecting their life, its best to see a mental health professional, such as a psychologist. If the depression is mild, or if your child isnt open to seeing a professional, there are lifestyle changes and self-management options that can be a good first step.
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Healthy Coping Mechanisms For Teens
Any coping mechanism that makes you feel better without having to resort to bad or harmful coping mechanisms could be considered a healthy coping mechanism but here are some that are directly related to better health.
- Going for a peaceful walk: Throw on some headphones or just enjoy the sounds of your surroundings, either way, taking a walk is a very healthy coping mechanism because it gives you a chance to disconnect from things, take some time to yourself, and its good for your mind and your body.
- Spending time at the park: Is there a park near you, or even an area with a few trees and a table or bench? Some time in nature, whether youre on a woodsy trail, sitting near a body of water, or anywhere else that feels calming,
- Intense exercise: A walk or a stroll in the park is always nice, but many people feel great after an intense workout. Exercise can be a good way to get your mind off things, especially when youre in the middle of an intense workout where all you can really think about is finding the willpower to keep going. You can forget about lifes problems, forget about the things that are stressing you, forget about whatever makes you feel angry or anxious, and just dedicate yourself to the exercise.
If You Are Worried About Your Teenager Seek Help
Ginty Butler: One of the things that often gets lost is the fact that anxiety and depression are both treatable illnesses. With appropriate treatment, people can and do get better.
Parents who are concerned that anxiety or depression is causing their teen to withdraw from friends or activities they used to enjoy should seek professional care for their child. The best place to start is with a trusted health care provider, such as a family pediatrician. You can also reach out to Boston Childrens or another pediatric health provider for resources.
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Depression In Teens Vs Adults
Depression in teens can look very different from depression in adults. The following signs and symptoms are more common in teenagers than in their adult counterparts:
Irritable or angry mood. As noted, irritability, rather than sadness, is often the predominant mood in depressed teens. A depressed teenager may be grumpy, hostile, easily frustrated, or prone to angry outbursts.
Unexplained aches and pains. Depressed teens frequently complain about physical ailments such as headaches or stomachaches. If a thorough physical exam does not reveal a medical cause, these aches and pains may indicate depression.
Extreme sensitivity to criticism. Depressed teens are plagued by feelings of worthlessness, making them extremely vulnerable to criticism, rejection, and failure. This is a particular problem for over-achievers.
Withdrawing from some, but not all people. While adults tend to isolate themselves when depressed, teenagers usually keep up at least some friendships. However, teens with depression may socialize less than before, pull away from their parents, or start hanging out with a different crowd.
Is it depression or teenage growing pains?
Identifying Triggers In Your Marriage Part 1
They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lias story, youll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!
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Can It Be Treated
Yes, medications and psychotherapy are few among the variety of methods used to treat depression. However, family support as well as the support from teachers and friends is essential in improving the condition. Although rare but hospitalization in a psychiatric unit may be required for teenagers with severe depression.
Suicide Warning Signs In Depressed Teens
Seriously depressed teens, especially those who also abuse alcohol or drugs, often think about, speak of, or make attempts at suicideand an alarming and increasing number are successful. So its vital that you take any suicidal thoughts or behaviors very seriously. Theyre a cry for help from your teen.
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Medication Comes With Risks
Antidepressants were designed and tested on adults, so their impact on young, developing brains is not yet fully understood. Some researchers are concerned that exposure to drugs such as Prozac may interfere with normal brain developmentparticularly the way the brain manages stress and regulates emotion.
Antidepressants also come with risks and side effects of their own, including a number of safety concerns specific to children and young adults. They are also known to increase the risk of suicidal thinking and behavior in some teenagers and young adults. Teens with bipolar disorder, a family history of bipolar disorder, or a history of previous suicide attempts are particularly vulnerable.
The risk of suicide is highest during the first two months of antidepressant treatment. Teenagers on antidepressants should be closely monitored for any sign that the depression is getting worse.
Teens on antidepressants: Red flags to watch out for
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Effective Habits To Embrace In Parenting
To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your childs life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rsrelationship, routines, responsibilities, and rulesyoull better understand the role you play in your childs life. Youll learn great phrases to employ such as Either/Or/You Decide and When You/Then You. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.
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How To Help Your Teenager With Anxiety And Depression
Four tips for parents on how to help a teenager with anxiety and depression. As your teen faces challenges, be prepared to help.
The world seems to be finally shaking free of the COVID pandemic. Were putting away our masks, going to movies, and even climbing on planes. But as one health crisis eases, another just keeps growing: teen anxiety and depression. The thought of how to help your teenager with anxiety and depression is big on the mind of parents today.
According to a new study from the Centers for Disease Control, 44 percent of American high school students said in 2021 that they deal with persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness. Thats the highest rate of teenage sadness ever recorded by the CDC, and a huge leap from the 26 percent of teens who reported being persistently sad and hopeless in 2009.
The report found that a quarter of all high school girls had seriously contemplated suicide. Other, more concrete indicators are raising alarm, too. Eating disorders rose dramatically during the pandemic. Reports of self-harm among teens increased by 99% during that same time frame. Youth and teen suicide are on the rise, tooand its not just the impact of COVID. Rates have risen every year since 2007.
Almost every measure of mental health is getting worse, for every teenage demographic, and its happening all across the country, wrote Derek Thompson for The Atlantic this April.
What Are The Symptoms Of Depression In Teens To Watch Out For
For a diagnosis of depression, a particular cluster of symptoms needs to have been there for at least for two weeks. These symptoms must include at least one of either a depressed mood, or a loss of interest or pleasure in things that were once enjoyable. Many times these will just be a normal part of adolescence and nothing at all to worry about, but if depression is happening, there will be other telltale signs. Here are some to watch out for:
Happiness, anger, indifference the many faces of depression.
Depression doesnt always look like sadness or withdrawal. Some of depressions classic disguises are:
Anger or irritability.
Depression often comes with lethargy, pain and/or hopelessness. Understandably, this can make people angrier, more irritable or more impatient than usual.
Happy, but reluctant to spend time with friends or family.
Its takes a huge amount of strength to move through the day with depression hanging on. If your teen has depression they might use this strength to put on a happy face, but where there is depression, there is also likely to be increasing withdrawal. Its very normal for teens to withdraw from family activities its part of them experimenting with their growing independence. The thing to watch out for is if they withdraw more from friends and spend more time on their own than usual.
Tiredness, lethargy, exhaustion.
Depression is exhausting and can make people more tired than usual, even if they seem to spend more time sleeping.
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Anxiety And Depression In Teens
Many parentsespecially Christian parentsmight think that their children maybe immune to these frightening trends. Their children, after all, know the Gospelthe greatest, most hopeful news you could possibly have. Who can be depressed in the face of that beautiful truth?
But heres the thing about depression: It lies to you. All youve been taught, all that youve been reared to believe, can feel false and hollow in the face of the crippling despair that depression can throw at you. While some studies suggest that faith can be a bulwark against depression, Christians that suffer from it can feel even worse. I shouldnt be feeling this way, they might tell themselves. There must be something wrong with me. My parents would be ashamed of me. And so, they hide it when they should be talking.
I know. When I was a teen, I wouldve been one of those kids who said I felt sad and hopeless much of the time. And even though I loved my parentsand honestly, because I loved my parentsI never talked to them about these feelings. I didnt want them to worry, even though they should have been concerned.
So, what, then, is a parent to do? What can you do to help a teenager with anxiety and depression?
Heres a few tips to consider.
Anxiety And Panic In Teenagers
Teenage anxiety and panic attacks might not be as easy to understand as they may be in an adult. Remember, teenagers are already struggling with finding their place and where they belong in the community, throw in biological changes, environmental, and other lifestyle changes well it can be kind of intense.
Anxiety is our normal reaction to stressful and unfamiliar situations we find ourselves in. The thought that youre stuck in a situation that you feel might feel threatening is what can trigger an anxiety attack.
Anxiety in pre-teens and teenagers is pretty common. In a study by the National Institute of Health, 1 out of every 3 teenagers experience an anxiety disorder. And, unfortunately, with every year that passes, these numbers are growing.
Adolescence is the time in your childs life when they experience emotional, physical, social, and environmental changes. Mix in some biological and hormonal changes and you get a messy and an overwhelmed teenager in your hands.
As a teen, I remember wanting to be independent to make my own decisions, chase opportunities, and handle challenges on my own. Of course, these came with the need to fit in, find my place in the world.
For many teenagers, anxiety doesnt last long but, for others, if not addressed or if left undiagnosed and untreated, it can turn into a serious anxiety or panic disorder.
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Some Of The Reactions To Stress Among Teens Who Are Having A Hard Time Coping Include
- Feeling anxious: Anxiety and stress are often closely related, and can manifest themselves in a variety of ways. Anxiety is also often tied to various signs of depression in teens.
- Becoming withdrawn: Its not uncommon for teenagers to become a bit withdrawn, this introspection can be a part of self-discovery, but when its lead-on by immense stress, then its good to try to utilize teenage coping skills to resolve it.
- Being aggressive: Sometimes, with a lack of coping skills in teens, stress is handled by being aggressive, either physically aggressive or speaking and acting in an aggressive way.
- Feeling physically unwell: A lack of ability to cope can lead a teenager to feeling unwell physically including an increase in their rate and breathing. Hands can be sweaty or clammy, along with an increase in blood flow.
- Fight, flight, or freeze: Stress can trigger someones fight or flight reaction, or it can just cause them to freeze up in a form of parallels.
- Substance issues: When someone lacks the ability to cope with things, they may turn to alcohol or other substances. This is not a way to actually deal with the issue, and often leads to even greater problems. Learning skills to cope for teens is much more productive, so lets go over some of those right now.
Get Help Finding Treatment
Here are tools to find a healthcare provider familiar with treatment options:
- Psychologist Locatorexternal icon, a service of the American Psychological Association Practice Organization.
- Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist Finderexternal icon, a research tool by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry .
- Find a Cognitive Behavioral Therapistexternal icon, a search tool by the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies.
- If you need help finding treatment facilities, visit MentalHealth.govexternal icon.
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