How To Overcome Divorce Depression

How A Long Island Divorce Attorney Can Help

Divorce is never easy, but there are steps that can be taken to make the process easier for all involved including the couple and any children who may be involved. Divorce mediation is one such option.

At Winkler Kurtz, LLP, we understand that divorce can be challenging for our clients in many ways. We work collaboratively with our clients to help them achieve their goals. Call us today at or contact us online to schedule a consultation with a Long Island divorce attorney.

When Its Time To Seek Help

In the midst of a divorce, it can be difficult to differentiate between sadness and depression. If you arent sure how to tell, start with our depression test to learn more.

However, if your depression is affecting your daily life or if youre starting to have thoughts of suicide or self-harm, its time for you to get help. Reaching out to a therapist or someone else whos removed from the situation can be beneficial. Especially if you are having feelings of shame or guilt, a mental health professional or licensed therapist can be particularly helpful.

Common recommendations your doctor or therapist may suggest for overcoming your divorce depression can include:

• Anti-anxiety medication

Reviewed On: October 8, 2021

Consider Taking On Hobbies

After a divorce, you may find yourself wondering how to spend your time. The time you once spent with your partner is now time you can use to find yourself.

Finding new hobbies or reconnecting with old ones can keep your mind busy, your heart smiling, and your focus on yourself.

Consider exploring questions like:

• What do you like to do?
• What are you passionate about?
• What do you want to try that youve always wanted to but never had the time before?

Your choices will be entirely up to you, but some suggestions for hobbies include:

• Finding the artist within. Art, such as drawing or painting, might help you express yourself if youre finding it difficult to do so after a divorce. Art therapy can also help with anxiety symptoms.
• Expressing yourself on paper. Writing can be a way to work through your emotions. Try poetry or other forms of creative writing. Journaling can also help.
• Getting active. Exercise like yoga, running, cycling, or dance may help if youre living with depression after a divorce.
• Building something. You may feel as if something has just broken apart. Working on creating something from scratch, like a dollhouse or model airplane, may help you regain perspective and hope after ending a marriage.
• Creating a tribute. Sometimes, you need closure, and tributes can help with this. Consider creating a ritual or object that signifies what the relationship meant to you. You can keep it, give it away, or destroy it afterward. It may work as a cathartic exercise.

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Symptoms Of Depression After Divorce

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• You cry at length without knowing any specific cause
• Theres a change in your appetite
• Increased fatigue
• Loss of sleep or excessive sleeping hampering your usual routine

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Life During And After The Divorce

Life during and after divorce can feel overwhelming. Be patient with yourself because what youre experiencing is a deep loss. The grief that comes after any loss is an emotional challenge that can be hard to navigate on your own.

During your divorce or divorce recovery, you may feel like youre unsure of yourself. You might question if youre making the right decision. You may be stressed about finances, wondering if youll find love again, figuring out how to help your child deal with divorce, and more.

Many people going through a divorce even have feelings of guilt or shame. They often feel that its their fault they couldnt make their marriage work. You may find that youre angry or that youre resentful toward your spouse.

The single most important thing you can remind yourself while youre going through a divorce is that all of your feelings are valid. And more importantly, theyre all very normal.

Focus On A Better Future

All post-divorce decisions must be made with regard to future consequences. Do not let your depression get out of hand and cast negativity on the next chapter of your life.

One failed relationship should not define you or determine the course of your life. Be mindful and set realistic goals after that you need to work towards your goals and never falter at obstacles. Let go of the past and do all you can to succeed at achieving happiness.

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Section : What You May Be Feeling

While there are many practical and legal decisions you need to make after separation or divorce, you will also be feeling a range of emotions.

This section explains some of the things you may be feeling. To learn more about how your children may react to divorce or separation, consult Section 2: What your children may be feeling.

Relationships end for many reasons. No matter why your relationship ended, you may find separation difficult and emotional. At times, your emotions may be so strong that you find it hard to deal with legal issues.

Your life will change after separation or divorce. Some things may change right away. Other things may change later.

How To Overcome Divorce Depression

Going through a divorce can be a stressful, challenging experience that can take a serious toll on your mental health, even if it might be the right decision for your long-term wellbeing.

Research has found that divorce and separation are associated with increases in mental health issues, including anxiety and depression. In other words, your risk for depression is elevated.

Other studies have found that people who are already affected by mental health issues such as depression may have an elevated risk of going through a divorce.

If youre feeling depressed after getting divorced or during the process of ending your marriage, its important to know that options are available for you.

In fact, with the right approach, its very possible to overcome divorce depression and enjoy life once again.

Below, weve explained what divorce depression is, how it may develop and the symptoms you might experience if youre feeling depressed during or following a divorce.

Weve also discussed the treatment options that are available to help you successfully deal with your symptoms and adjust to post-divorce life.

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Grieving The Loss Of The Marriage

The loss of the ideal marriage is a crisis similar to that of losing a spouse by death. You may feel alone, unloved, and rejected. You may experience deep pain as you try to understand the reasons for the divorce. You may also experience:

• Physical symptoms or illness.
• Sleep-related problemstoo much or not enough sleep.
• Appetite changeloss of appetite or overeating.
• Mood swingsanger, sadness, clinical depression.
• Substance abuse of alcohol, drugs, and/or tobacco.
• Thoughts of suicide.

Individuals may go through several stages of mourning or grief. The emotional intensity of this period usually reaches a peak within the first six months of separation. However, the grieving process may take as long as two years. Although you are likely to experience all of the grieving stages at some point, they may not occur in the same order for each person. It is normal to have the feelings described below, and they may return at sentimental times of the year, such as a wedding anniversary or holidays.

During this period you may:

• Find your routines have changed.
• Go through daily routines without really seeing, hearing, or experiencing events.
• Find that activities which usually have significance for you seem meaningless.
• Experience life without a sense of satisfaction.

When To Seek Professional Help

If you find yourself struggling to be productive or even get out of bed most days, then it may be time to seek professional help. Therapy can help by providing someone with healthy coping skills and tools to overcome their depression after divorce. Its beneficial for anyone who is going through a challenging adjustment period.

Cognitive therapy aims to counteract the effects of maladaptive schemas and can help the patient become less vulnerable to future depressions.7 Cognitive therapy uses behavioral techniques with the goal of modifying automatic thoughts.7

For someone who is experiencing depression, working with a therapist for individual divorce counseling can teach coping skills and how to overcome negative self-thoughts. To find and choose the therapist or counselor who is right for you, start your search in a free therapist directory.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, call 911, call the National Suicide Preention Lifelife , or go to your nearest emergency room.

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What Life Looks Like With Divorce Depression

Depression after a divorce can be very isolating. You may feel like you’re the only one going through this, and no one understands what you’re feeling. This can make it challenging to socialize or spend time around other people.

Additionally, you may find that your usual coping mechanisms no longer work. You might have turned to alcohol or drugs in the past to help you deal with difficult emotions, but now that you’re depressed, they may only serve to aggravate the problem.

Consider Embracing Alone Time

Everyones different. You may feel you need to be with other people or you might feel like staying home alone.

But staying alone isnt the same as enjoying being by yourself. If you feel lost after your divorce, it may help you to reconnect with your true self.

This could start with spending more time exploring the things you enjoy and reconnecting with your own thoughts.

Consider taking a solo trip to somewhere new. You could take a daytime road trip to the next town over, for example. It could be going to a new restaurant by yourself.

Engaging in meditation practice may also help you enjoy alone time while helping you manage painful emotions and negative thoughts.

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Give Yourself Time To Work Through The Loss And Accept What You Cannot Control

• Any separation is rough its okay to be upset. If you deny how youre feeling, your emotions wont disappear. Instead, theyre more likely to come out in other less helpful ways, like anger or hostility.
• Dont continue to fight with an ex, especially when children are involved it will only make things harder and more confusing for them and yourself.
• Theres no rush to get into a new relationship, so take your time to sort things out.

Combining Talk Therapy With Antidepressants For Depression

If depression doesn’t improve with behavior or talk therapy, a physician may decide to prescribe an antidepressant, or may prescribe it along with the therapy.

Antidepressant medications can help, Clayton says. “Medications and therapy are often very useful.” If the depression is milder, one or the other may be enough, she says if it is more severe a combination treatment may be better.

In a study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, Stanford University researchers compared medication alone, talk therapy alone, or a combination in 656 patients with chronic depression. They concluded that the combination produces a faster, fuller remission of chronic depression.

Like many medications, antidepressants can interact with other medicine, and cause side effects. Patients should always tell their doctors about the medicines they take, and call the doctor if they notice side effects. Another class of antidepressant may be prescribed.

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Work Out Your Frustration

Physical exercise is a highly effective remedy to overcome stress and anxiety, so make sure you get plenty of it. Working out will help release the pent up tension in your body and allow you to feel relaxed.

When you exercise, the body releases endorphins that uplifts ones spirits and improves mood. You will escape the unceasing fatigue caused by depression, beat insomnia, and increase productivity.

Depression And Child Custody

You may be wondering if you are suffering from depression and you have children, can your spouse use your condition against you?

Unfortunately, the answer is probably yes. At least to some degree.

When the source of your depression comes from an unhappy an adulterer, a controlling spouse or one who is reckless with money, you can easily fall into feelings of anger, worthlessness and sadness.

When you seek help for situational or clinical depression, you could be treated with antidepressants, anti-anxiety medications or psychotherapy. But in a bitter marriage, a spouse may not be above using the against you to gain an upper hand, especially when it comes to child custody.

Depressed and unhappy spouses often want to leave their spouses and a bad marriage, but theyre afraid to do so because they do not want to take a chance on losing their children.

In a heated custody battle, a spouse may try their best to gain the upper hand by introducing this kind of information to the court. He or she will make the claim that you are a drug addict who cant properly care for your children because of your drug use or mental state.

Judges always place the best interests of the child in a divorce above all else, so they will be very interested in learning more about your prescription drug use and state of mind. To show that you are capable of caring for your children, you should be prepared to demonstrate to the court that:

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Work Out Your Aggressions

According to research, working out might help you work through your post-divorce emotions by reducing the odds of experiencing depression and preventing the symptoms of existing depression from getting worse.

Exercises for depression are something to consider if youre looking for ways to help manage sadness after divorce.

Push Yourself To Socialize

Post-divorce depression can drive a person into isolation. It is absolutely normal if you detest the idea of leaving your room and being surrounded by people you have to interact with.

Establishing a voluntary lockdown may sound tempting, but it wont do you any good. Socializing is probably the last thing you want to do right now, but you have to do it in order to move forwards.

Make plans with friends, say yes to invitations for get-togethers from colleagues, and dont hesitate to make small talk with strangers.

Take part in community gatherings or join a club where you can get to know people that have something in common with you. An active social life will take your mind off depressing thoughts and make way for new prospects.

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Focus On What You Can Control

When you’re feeling down, it’s easy to feel like you have no control over anything. However, it’s important to remember that some things are within your power. It could be something as simple as how you react to a situation or how you choose to spend your time.

It’s also helpful to focus on your strengths and what you’re good at. Finally, don’t forget that you’re capable of overcoming anything as long as you put your mind to it.

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Dont Rush Into A New Relationship

Do not start looking for a new relationship right after you ended one. You are probably consumed by loneliness at the moment, so you would be tempted to find solace in the first person at your disposal.

Getting intimate with someone new while youre still not over your ex is a recipe for disaster. Rebound relationships are emotionally damaging for both parties involved, so avoid them at all costs.

You need to learn to be comfortable by yourself before looking at new relationship prospects. Embrace your independence and enjoy the single life for a while.

Get to know yourself and what you truly want in a potential partner. When things get back to normal, you may begin exploring options whilst taking it slow.

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