Reasons To Stay Alive Today
Because whatever youre feeling is temporary.
44,965 people in the U.S. take their own lives and for every suicide, there are 25 attempts.The rates of suicide in the United States have dramatically increased since 1999. According to the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention, its the tenth leading cause of death in America.
Im not sure about a lot of things in this world, but Im certain about this: Not talking about something doesnt make it go away. In fact, ignoring the terrifying monsters that haunt us only makes them stronger. Ive lost way too many friends to suicide. I too have been so paralyzed by the weight of a debilitating depression that it felt too painful to stay alive. Depression is real. Confronting the demon is the only way to overcome the beast tormenting us when we cant sleep at night. Which is why National Suicide Prevention Week is so vitally important. It shines a black light on this issue that our society would rather leave neglected in the darkness.
When I was so deep in the hole that it felt like there was nothing for me to live for anymore, I remember many people throwing all of these didactic self-help books in my face, all written in a robotic language I couldnt quite connect to.
When youre depressed, the simple pleasures of everyday life, the possibilities of feeling joy ever again, are completely void from your spirit. Which is why I created a little list of simple things to live for.
So honey, dont give up
Keep Doing What Makes You Feel Good Even If It Doesnt Feel Good
One of the most painful parts of depression is the complete evaporation of joy and pleasure. It feels like all your happiness has been physically vacuumed out of your body. Getting through the day without an ounce of enjoyment is pretty soul-crushing.
There is a very effective, albeit very uncomfortable, depression management strategy called behavioral activation. Behavioral activation basically means that you convince yourself to engage in pleasant, healthy activities. You do this even if you feel depressed the entire time, even if pleasurable activities are the last thing you want to do.
Depression can engender a cycle of avoidance, where you avoid the things that might make you feel a bit better. You do this because its maddening to do something that used to be fun but now feels like nothing at all. You also do this because the prospect of doing anything is just too overwhelming.
Unfortunately, this only digs you into a deeper pit of depression. Heres how it goes: you get depressed. Talking to people feels overwhelming, so you avoid your well-meaning friends and ignore their calls. Your friends are very confused and start to worry that you arent interested in hanging out with them anymore. You stop getting invited out because they dont want to bother you, solidifying your isolation from your social support.
Surround Yourself With Caring People
You dont have to do this alone. Find people who care about you, and who can handle hearing that you have depression, and tell them how you feel. You never know who is going through the same thing. Form a support group that you can trust to help you find a way to cope with your depression. Let them check in on you, and accept their offers of help. Remember, they care about you.
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Meet Yourself Where You Are
Depression is common. It affects millions of people, including some in your life. You may not realize they face similar challenges, emotions, and obstacles.
The key to navigating depression is to be open, accepting, and loving toward yourself and what youre going through.
Every day with this disorder is different. Its important to take your mental health seriously and accept that where you are right now isnt where youll always be.
Know That Today Isnt Indicative Of Tomorrow
Internal emotions and thoughts can change from day to day. Tracking experiences through journaling or keeping a mood diary can help to remember this.
If you were unsuccessful at getting out of bed or accomplishing your goals today, remember that you havent lost tomorrows opportunity to try again.
Give yourself the grace to accept that while some days will be difficult, some days will also be less difficult. Try to look forward to tomorrows fresh start.
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This Quiz Can Help You Identify The Reasons Behind Feelings Of Loneliness And Isolation
- Do you feel left out often?
If Youre Up For Exercise Consider A Walk Around The Block
On days when you feel as if you cant get out of bed, exercise may seem like the last thing youd want to do. However, exercise and physical activity can help to lower symptoms of depression and boost energy levels.
future depressive episodes.
Even when you have the feeling that youre unable to or have very little energy, see if youd be willing to do the opposite of what your mood is telling you to do, such as curling up in bed. Instead, set a small goal for yourself, such as taking a walk around the block.
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Assess The Parts Instead Of Generalizing The Whole
Depression can tinge recollections with difficult emotions. You may find yourself focusing on things that are unhelpful or perceived as difficult.
Try to stop this overgeneralization. Push yourself to recognize the good. If it helps, write down what was meaningful about the event or day. You can track what you achieved that day, and which activities were enjoyable.
Seeing the weight youre giving to one thing may help you direct your thoughts away from the whole and to the individual pieces that were helpful.
Things That Help When Im Depressed
Those of you whove read my chapter in the anthology Goddess Shift: Women Leading for a Change know that I have had plenty of personal experience with depression, and that I have a unique relationship with it. I believe this has been an enormous help to me in helping others with depression. So I thought it might be useful to share some of what I do when I get depressed.
What resolves depression is grieving losses and traumas, changing brain chemistry, changing life circumstances, and time. What I have written below is more about what I do to cope during the process of resolution. This is not a complete list, by any means, but it is key for me and I hope you find it useful for you or someone you know.
1. Stay in bed, and give in to the exhaustion and lack of motivation.
2. Force myself to exercise.
3. Fantasize about something so amazing that it might give me pleasure.
4. Look for pleasure through my senses.
5. Talk to someone about whatever I need to complain about.
This is one of the most important options for me, but also one of the harder ones to arrange. People have to be available, capable, and in the mood. Fortunately, I cultivate people who can and want to do this well when I need it, including my own therapist.
I would love to hear from you about what helps you when you are depressed.
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Assume That Your Family Is Disappointed In You
This is vital. Put hateful words in the mouths of your loved ones. Imagine them telling you that youre a disappointment, that they cant love you when youre acting like this. At all costs, do not talk honestly to your loved ones about the way youre feeling. It will almost definitely make you feel better. Just put words in their mouth without actually speaking to them.
Bad Days Come In Degrees
Bad days come in degrees. They are not all equally bad. And the really bad ones, though horrible to live through, are useful for later. You store them up. A bank of bad days. The day you had to run out of the supermarket. The day you were so depressed your tongue wouldnt move. The day you made your parents cry. The day you nearly threw yourself off a cliff. So if you are having another bad day you can say, Well, this feels bad, but there have been worse. And even when you can think of no worse day when the one you are living is the very worst there has ever been you at least know the bank exists and that you have made a deposit.
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Colon Perforation Is Not Common
Giovanni Bonomo, MD Director, Colorectal Surgery at Staten Island University Hospital explains, “When a patient’s colon “bursts” or perforates, bacteria from the colon will escape into the peritoneal cavity which is a sterile environment. There are times where the body can contain a perforation however in a non contained perforation, it can lead to an overwhelming infection, sepsis and even death if not treated emergently with surgery.”
Tracey Childs, MD, board certified in general and colorectal surgery and chief of surgery at Providence Saint John’s Health Center in Santa Monica, CA tells us, “The risk is about 4/100,000 people. The risk factors, with colon perforation being an extremely rare outcome, include diverticulitis, obstruction from inflammatory or malignant causes, foreign body or trauma including during colonoscopy which is less than in 2% of all colonoscopies. In this particular situation, the perforation was likely related to severe constipation associated with the chronic narcotic use. With severe constipation for all reasons, one can get a blockage from hard stool which then erodes through the colon wall causing an ulcerative perforation resulting in peritonitis or overwhelming infection of the abdominal cavity.
Symptoms Of Colonic Perforation
Perry revealed he’s had 14 surgeries on his stomach and told PEOPLE, “That’s a lot of reminders to stay sober. All I have to do is look down. He has shared, “There were five people put on an ECMO machine that night and the other four died and I survived. So the big question is why? Why was I the one? There has to be some kind of reason.”
Dr. Bonomo says, “Colonic perforation will often be accompanied by severe diffuse abdominal pain, fevers, chills, nausea, vomiting as well as changes in vital signs, lab work and imaging. If anyone is experiencing these symptoms, they should go to the closest emergency department for evaluation.” Dr. Childs adds, “Colonic perforation is most commonly heralded by severe abdominal pain and sometimes associated fever, nausea and vomiting and loss of appetite. But, mostly PAIN!”
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The Difference Between Active Suicidal Ideation & Passive Suicidal Ideation
If youve decided you dont want to live like this any more but you dont want to die, its likely that youre feeling passive suicidal ideation. This means that youve thought about not living any more, but you dont have any active plan to die by suicide.
However, passive suicidal ideation can quickly turn to active .
Its important to remember that feeling suicidal is a state that can change rapidly, says licensed therapist and suicidologist Janel Cubbage, LCPC.
This means the feelings can also be reduced quickly, including through promising new interventionssuch as ketamine infusion therapy and transcranial magnetic stimulation .
My Survival Plan For Living In Hell
What Does Not Kill me Makes me Stronger
friedrich nietzsche
When I was going through my life-threatening depressive episode, I found that the best way to cope with such intense discomfort was to live my life one day at a time. Whenever I contemplated the prospect of dealing with my pain over the long term, I became overwhelmed. But if I could reduce my life to a single 24-hour segment of time-that was something I could handle.
Working together, my therapist and I created what I called my daily survival plan for living in hell. The central idea was simple-to develop coping strategies that would get me through the day, hour by hour, minute by minute. Because I was fighting a war on two fronts, I had to devise and employ techniques that would deal with both the depression and the anxiety. I used my coping strategies to create four categories of support, which I have summarized below. These categories are:
- physical support
- spiritual support
- and most importantly, people support
What follows is a brief outline of my daily survival plan. I have rewritten it in the second person so that you can adapt it to your individual needs. Remember, the goal is to identify coping strategies that will keep you safe and get you through each day until the pattern of the depression shifts.
People Support
Physical Support
The second aspect of my daily survival plan consisted of finding ways to nurture my physical body. Here are some suggestions that you can try.
Mental / Emotional Support
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How Can You Treat Depression
If youre experiencing any signs of depression, its important that you see your doctor right away to receive treatment.
Depression can make you feel like its not worth investing in yourself for treatment. But its important to remember that the faster you start treatment, the sooner youll be able to manage your symptoms.
Treatments can reduce the mental and physical issues associated with depression as well as your risk of death.
Your doctor may recommend that you see a mental healthcare provider such as a psychologist or psychiatrist in order to receive treatment.
The following are some of the common treatments for depression.
What Should You Do When Living With Someone Who Has Depression Find Out How You Can Help Them While Still Taking Care Of Yourself
Depression is more than just feeling down its a mental health condition. Depression is a disease that causes persistent feelings of sadness and negativity its is not just a mood or thought process that those with depression can change or control. Many times clinical depression is due to a chemical imbalance in the brain and is not possible to control without professional help and medications. Living with a person who has depression can be difficult and often involves stresses that do not exist in most relationships.
Some people wonder how to cope with living with a depressed person. While this may initially seem challenging, there are several ways to help someone with depression:
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Do Something You Enjoy
Depression can push you to give in to your fatigue. It may feel more powerful than preferred emotions.
Try to push back and do something you love something thats pleasurable or meaningful. It could be playing an instrument, painting, hiking, or biking.
The byproduct of engaging in meaningful activities can be a lift in your mood or energy, which can further motivate you to continue to engage in helpful activities that help with navigating symptoms.
Research suggests that walks in nature may improve depressive symptoms in people with clinical depression.
Time in natural spaces may improve mood and cognition, and lower the risk of mental health disorders. However, theres only limited research on the direct effect of nature on those with clinical depression.
Consider taking a walk at lunch among the trees or spending some time in your local park. Or plan a weekend hike. These activities can help you reconnect with nature and soak in some rays at the same time.
Tips For Living Well With Major Depressive Disorder
Living with major depression can feel lonely. People may be fearful or ashamed of being labeled with a serious mental illness, causing them to suffer in silence, rather than get help. In fact, most people with major depression never seek the right treatment. But those struggling with this illness are not alone. Its one of the most common and most treatable mental health disorders. With early, continuous treatment, people can gain control of their symptoms, feel better, and get back to enjoying their lives.
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Don’t Punish Yourself For Feeling Bad
Feeling embarrassed or self-hating over your depression will only increase your symptoms and discourage you from seeking help. Your critical thoughts toward yourself will try to keep you down any way they can, including by attacking you for feeling down. It’s important to take your side and have compassion for yourself at those difficult times. You can be curious, open, accepting, and loving toward yourself, a much more appropriate attitude. Take your mental health seriously. Remember, depression is a very common and highly treatable disease. It is just a matter of recognizing you’re feeling bad and finding the treatment that works for you.
Why Opioids Are Dangerous
Dr. Sullivan explains, “Substances like alcohol or prescription opioids are subject to the risk of misuse because of how they affect our brain reward pathways. While alcohol in moderation can for most people be a pleasant experience not associated with health risks, and prescription opioids like oxycontin can be very effective in providing pain relief for individuals with serious medical disorders, their potent effect on the mechanisms through which our minds experience pleasure led to compulsive patterns of behavior in vulnerable individuals. In the case of drugs like oxycontin that includes almost everyone except for those people who experience intense nausea when taking opiate-containing medication. The specific reasons why oxycontin became a national epidemic have entirely to do with the unscrupulous behavior of Purdue Pharma executives who sought to exploit the medication’s properties for their own financial gain.”
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