How To Tell A Friend You Re Depressed

Try Practicing The Conversation Beforehand

How Do You Tell Someone That Youre Depressed?

Telling someone that youre depressed is a major step, and theres nothing wrong with practicing the conversation ahead of time.

If you feel nervous about talking to your friend, partner or family member about your depression, dont feel hesitant to prepare notes that cover what youd like to talk about, phrases you can use to describe how you feel, or anything else you think is relevant or helpful.

Its also totally okay to practice certain parts of your conversation in your head or with yourself in the mirror before talking to a real person.

Discussing your depression with another person even someone thats close to you can be a daunting experience, and a little preparation can make the experience far easier.

Help Them To Find Support

Your friend might not be aware of what professional support options are available, or they may be unsure of how to get support. Even if they know about support options, it can be daunting to see a health professional.

You can offer support by encouraging your friend to speak to a health professional or an adult they trust. You could offer to join them for the conversation if they want, or even ask if theyd like you to book the appointment if its with a professional. A GP can organise a mental health care plan for them if needed. This means that your friend will get a referral to a psychologist or other professional. Theyll also get Medicare-subsidised sessions getting help doesnt have to mean they have to fork out hundreds of dollars.

Not everyone is ready to see somebody face-to-face. You could recommend hotlines or online chat-based helplines. The ReachOut NextStep tool can also provide tailored support options so they can make their own plan. Here are some support services they could use, and some more information about getting professional support for depression and anxiety.

If theyre not able to seek help on their own, ask for their permission to talk to an adult they trust on their behalf. If they refuse, and youre still really concerned, consider talking to an adult you trust, such as a teacher, parent or school counsellor.

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I Want To Tell Someone But I Cant

Telling someone you know can be difficult. Perhaps youve tried all the suggestions above and still are unable to talk about it.

Its important to tell someone if you can. The feelings of isolation that can come with depression can really add to your struggle, making it worse.

Telling a stranger can help. There are a range of depression hotlines available staffed by skilled and compassionate individuals who are there to support you.

Thoughts of suicide are one of the symptoms of depression, which makes it a life-threatening illness. Current estimates suggest that around two-thirds of all suicides are depression-related, so if youre feeling lonely, isolated, or suicidal, please seek help.

Be Transparent About How Youre Feeling

This is your opportunity to give the doctor as much information as youre comfortable with. If the doctor feels that your job is affecting your mental health or youd benefit from some time off, they may sign you off work. A doctor can make an assessment based on your symptoms and provide you with a note advising you of the length of time to take off.

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Wait Until It Feels Comfortable

Take your time and do it when it feels right. When you feel ready, the best way to start is to tell them you have something important that you want to talk about, so they know not to take the conversation lightly. Also, its important to be clear whether or not you want them to keep the information to themselves at this stage.

Assure Them They’re Not Weak Or Defective

Those who are coping with depression tend to feel weak or that there is something wrong with them. While depression is an illness, those who live with it may feel that it’s a character flaw.

Reassure your friend that depression really is an illness caused by a biochemical imbalance in the brain, and it does not mean that they are weak. In fact, it takes a great deal of strength to fight back, so they are probably much stronger than they think they are.

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How To Tell Your Best Friend You Are Depressed

This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.There are 17 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. In this case, several readers have written to tell us that this article was helpful to them, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 146,437 times.

Take Care Of Yourself

6 Signs Someone Is Hiding Their Depression

When you care about someone whos living with depression, its tempting to drop everything to be by their side and support them. Its not wrong to want to help a friend, but its also important to take care of your own needs.

If you put all your energy into supporting your friend, youll have very little left for yourself. And if youre feeling burned out or frustrated, you wont be much help to your friend.

Set boundaries

Setting boundaries can help. For example, you might let your friend know youre available to talk after you get home from work, but not before then.

If youre concerned about them feeling like they cant reach you, offer to help them come up with a contingency plan if they need you during your work day. This might involve finding a hotline they can call or coming up with a code word they can text you if theyre in a crisis.

You might offer to stop by every other day or bring a meal twice a week, instead of trying to help every day. Involving other friends can help create a bigger support network.

Practice self-care

Spending a lot of time with a loved one who has depression can take an emotional toll. Know your limits around difficult emotions, and make sure you take time to recharge.

If you need to let your friend know you wont be available for a while, you might say something like, I cant talk until X time. Can I check in with you then?

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These Of Course Are Not All The Signs Or Symptoms Of Depression But They Are Things You Can Notice A Few More Notes About These Symptoms:

-these are about CHANGES in behavior. If any of these apply to your friend on a normal basis, the mere presence of one or a few of these symptoms does not indicate a potential mood disorder.

-the change should be persistent. In other words, you should notice it more than once or twice in order for it to start to reach the threshold of a meaningful change in behavior. Why? Because were human and all have off days!

-the presence of one sign alone is unlikely to indicate depression.

-conversely, it does not mean all 8 need to be present for you to think ahh, its depression.

Depression really sucks.

It hurts in such a unique, almost inexplicable way. But having friends who are graceful with you through it is meaningful to every single person who suffers through it. And I want you to be able to be that person, for your people. So, next time you hear yourself thinking what the heck is going on with Sally from the water cooler?, reflect on these signs and see what you come up with.

Stay tuned for another post coming soon about what you can do, as that friend, to intervene or be supportive once you know it is depression.

Talk to you soon!

Edit: wondering how to support or help your friend who is depressed? Here’s a blog we wrote on how to do just that!

How To Tell Someone That Youre Depressed

Telling someone that youre depressed can feel daunting, especially if youre worried about how theyll react. Its normal, natural and common to feel nervous about it, and its equally as normal to have mixed feelings about whether its the right thing to do.

If youre feeling nervous, remember that by telling the right people about your depression, youll give yourself a network of individuals who can support you and speed up your recovery.

Below, weve shared some tips and techniques that you can use to have the conversation with friends, family members and other important people in your life the right way.

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Prepare For The Conversation

Rehearse the conversation in your head or write it down because sometimes, at the moment, you can forget to mention key things you want your friends to know, so it helps to be prepared.

Try not to worry about what the person will think of your situation. Remind yourself that they love you and want to support you even if they don’t know how.

Instead Say: I Am Sorry You Are Going Through This I Am Here For You

Acknowledging your friends feelings whatever they may be can help them feel seen.

Depression is painful. You dont need to put a positive spin on depression. Its OK to acknowledge that what your friend is going through is hard.

Pellegrino recommends reflecting back what your friend is telling you with statements like It sounds like you are feeling miserable, or It seems like its been hard to enjoy activities lately. This lets your friend know you are listening and taking what theyre going through seriously.

We have to hold hope for people who are depressed because they cant be hopeful, but if you start with that, theres going to be a gulf between you and theyre going to feel invalidated by that, Pellegrino says.

Once your friend feels understood, you can share that you believe they will pull out of depression, even if they dont feel that way right now. Just remember that having this hope doesnt negate the painful reality your friend is currently experiencing. It helps to hold space for both: the fact that things are hard now and that you believe they will get better.

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How Can You Tell If Someone Is Dealing With Depression

Depression touches most Americans, whether they experience it personally or it affects someone they know. In fact, The National Institute of Mental Health reports its one of the most common mental health disorders in the United States an estimated 17.3 million adults were living with depression in 2017.

So how can you tell if a friend is just a bit sad or hassomething deeper brewing? There certainly are telltale signs, Dr. Borlandnotes. But since you dont necessarily see that person every day, you may haveto do more detective work.

He recommends watching for behavioral changes or anything that could be out of character for your friend. Some depression symptoms include:

Lack of engagement:They lose interest in activities they used to enjoy or want to hang out less.
Change in communication patterns: Youused to chat or hang on the regular, and now theyre MIA.
Changes in hygiene and sleepingpatterns: Theyre sleeping less or all the time. Their appearance andhygiene no longer seem to be a priority.
Displays of sadness or anger: Theirtemper now has a hairpin trigger, or maybe they seem more down than usual.
Withdrawal from social outlets:Theyre missing from activities where they were formerly fixtures.

How To Tell Someone You Are Depressed

W. Nate Upshaw, MD

Dr. William Nathan Upshaw is the Medical Director of NeuroSpa TMS®. Since receiving training from the inventor of TMS Therapy nearly a decade ago, Dr. Upshaw has been a pioneer, champion and outspoken advocate of TMS Therapy. Dr. Upshaws holistic experience in the field has transformed him into Floridas leading advocate for widespread accessibility to TMS Therapy.

Depression is one of the most common psychological disorders, but that doesnt make it any less devastating or scary. Living with depression can be isolating and reaching out to others can provoke feelings of anxiety or even fear. Many people still feel embarrassed about having depression. Even though the stigma attached to mental illness has lessened, its still hard for people to disclose that theyre living with a taxing psychological disorder. Its a scary choice. To reach out and get the help we need, we have to risk disclosure.

However, its a risk worth taking. Talking about your depression with a trusted person is associated with better recovery outcomes. Getting social support from people you know is one of the most helpful ways to break the shell of isolation depression builds up. If youve asked yourself how to tell someone youre depressed, here are a few things to consider when preparing to have that important conversation.

Better understand depression

Give Specific Concrete Examples Of How You Feel

Unfortunately, many people have misconceptions about the nature, causes and severity of many mental health conditions, including depression. Other people may have an open mind but find it difficult to understand the true impact that depression can have on your life.

One way that you can help your family and friends understand how you feel is to give specific examples of how your depression affects you.

This could mean letting a family member or trusted friend know about a certain symptom thats affecting you, such as sudden feelings of helplessness, a lack of energy or difficulty remaining focused on or interested in certain aspects of your life.

Being specific can help make your depression less abstract for others and provide them with a more complete understanding of how your symptoms affect your daily life.

Access Expert Help For Depression

7 Things to Say to Someone With Depression

Depression can have a serious impact on your mental well-being, and having the right network of caring, supportive people around you can make managing your symptoms and making progress towards recovery an easier process.

If youre suffering from depression and want to let other people know, use the techniques above to decide who to talk to and how to share your current mental health status.

If you arent receiving treatment for depression, its also important to reach out for help. You can do this by asking your primary care provider for a referral to a mental health professional in your area, or by scheduling an appointment directly with a psychiatrist or psychologist.

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Urge Them To Talk To A Professional

Depression treatments are a very important part of recovering from depression, but people often feel ashamed of their condition or pessimistic about whether treatment will really help.

If your friend has not yet seen a healthcare provider, encourage them to seek help and reassure them that there is nothing wrong with asking for assistance. Depression is a realand treatableillness.

If your friend is already seeing a healthcare provider, offer to help with picking up medications and being on time for appointments.

Theyre Not Showing Up For Things They Used To Enjoy

Has your friend stopped turning up for activities they used to enjoy? Does it feel like you never see them anymore? This could be a sign theyre not feeling like their usual selves. Not wanting to spend time with the people they love and losing interest in the activities they used to enjoy can be a telltale sign of depression.

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Choose Whether You Want To Talk To Your Doctor Or Boss First

If youre suffering from work-related stress, its justifiable to speak to your employer first, says Dr McClymont. Often, if an employer can improve the work situation, you wont need anything else.

But if your problems are separate from work, Id say get the right help from your doctor first. A doctors note may be helpful to explain your situation, particularly if you might need some time off.

Remember Their Reaction Is A Reflection Of Their Own Character Not Yours

Speaking of not going to plan, you may find that not all your friends react in the way you had hoped, but dont let this set you back. Just because one friend didnt respond the way you wanted them to when you told them you have depression, doesnt mean that none of them will.

If youre met with a negative reaction, remember that it says more about their character than it does about you. If they dont believe that you have depression because you always seem so upbeat and happy, its down to the information theyve been exposed to and its not your job to try and change their mind. If they tell you to stop feeling sorry for yourself, remind yourself that youre entitled to feel the way you do. If youre met with anything but love when you tell your friends you have depression, it doesnt mean youre not worthy of love. It means theyre not worthy of being your friend.

Start with the friends who are more likely to give you the support you need to give you a confidence boost when going to tell the others. If you start with the friend thats least likely to be able to understand you, you could convince yourself its a bad idea to tell anyone else and talk yourself out of it.