Talking To Parents About Depression
If you feel depressed, alone, or are having a problem you can’t solve, you need to reach out for help and support. Talk to a parent or to another trusted adult in your life, like a school counselor, teacher, pastor, or coach. Let them know what you’re going through.
Depression And Loneliness: A Terrible Combination
Depression and loneliness is a combination that can have serious consequences for someone with major depression. When someone is depressed, they dont feel like interacting with others and they begin to isolate themselves from family and friends. Depression and loneliness can easily feed into one another, creating a bleak circumstance for the affected person. Whether the depression stems from loneliness, or the loneliness occurs as a result of the depression, the combination of the two can cause a great deal of pain and suffering.
Get Active Walk Run Play Dance And Move
Another way to deal with loneliness and depression is to get out into the world. Even just the simple act of going to the grocery store or the mall, walking around downtown during a busy workday, or riding the bus can be very helpful in overcoming a sense of isolation.
Watching other people like you getting on with their day might inspire you to get a new perspective on your own situation. Lots of people are living alone, so dont let that stop you from doing things you love.
Physical activity of any kind will stimulate your brain and body to produce feel-good hormones that help you to feel better and more in control.
Whatever you choose, do something to get your mind and body active. Simply walk as far as you can, ride a bike, or take up tai chi or belly dancing.
Dont stress if it takes a little while to see a positive change in your mindset take small steps that will change your behavior over time.
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Why You May Be Feeling Depressed And Lonely
Loneliness and depression are conditions that people have for a variety of reasons.
When it pertains to loneliness, a person feels alone when their connections lack the depth, closeness, and sincerity that they require to be fulfilled. This could occur for a variety of causes, including:
- Youve lost someone close to you.
- Divorce or the end of a marriage
- Retiring, getting unemployed, or changing occupations are all possibilities.
- Changing schools, colleges, or universities, or entering higher education
- Moving to a new location far from family, friends, and coworkers
- Birthdays and anniversaries and other seasonal events.
- Having a traumatic life changing event, especially if it goes unresolved.
- Having a mental health problem or an addiction, especially if it goes untreated.
There are various reasons why people suffer from depression, several of which coincide with what can cause loneliness. Following are some examples:
- Experiencing trauma, particularly as a child
- Experiencing a traumatic life event, such as losing your job, getting divorced, or having lost someone you care about
- Having substantial and/or long-term physical health issues
- Having a history of depression and other mental health issues in your family
- Having dealt with mental health issues in the past
- Bearing personality traits like being too judgmental of oneself or having poor self-esteem
Examine Your Existing Relationships
It really is possible to feel lonely in a crowd. If you already have plenty of people in your life and still feel lonely, you might want to consider the quality of those interactions.
What does the time you spend with others look like? If you simply exist together without really connecting, your interactions probably wont fulfill your social needs.
Instead of simply sitting in the same room watching TV or looking at your phones, try creating a more meaningful connection:
- Start a conversation about current events or other topics important to you.
- Participate in activities that allow you to learn more about each other. Take up a sport, get out in nature, or work on a project together.
- Practice random kindnesses. Leave flowers at a loved ones door, take out your neighbors trash, or cook dinner for a friend who had a bad day.
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Why Am I Feeling Lonely And Depressed
People experience loneliness, leading to depression, for a number of different reasons.
The causes of loneliness can be numerous, and often a collection of combining factors are at play. Some of these include: physical isolation from other people, significant change in your life such as divorce or moving to a new location, or a stressful period in your life such as working long hours or an upcoming exam period.
The main causes of loneliness include:
- Losing someone close to you
- Getting a divorce or ending a relationship
- Retiring, becoming unemployed or changing jobs
- Entering higher education or changing your school, college or university
- Relocating to an area away from family, friends and colleagues
- Going through seasonal events such as Christmas, birthdays or anniversaries
- Experiencing a traumatic life event, particularly if it remains unaddressed
- Experiencing a mental health condition or addiction, particularly if it remains unaddressed
There are also many reasons as to why people experience depression, many of which overlap with what can cause loneliness. These can include the following:
I’m 51 Have No Children And Am Feeling Depressed And Lonely
The dilemma I am 51 and feel alone and unsettled. Although I have lived in the UK for 20 years, it has never really been “home”. I had an expat childhood, living in Europe and the US. I was very close to my parents , and now that the family home is gone, too, I’ve lost the only stability I had in my life. I have been with my partner for 11 years, but sadly marriage has not brought me the sense of closeness or security I hoped it would. I was desperate to have a child, but had three miscarriages instead. My husband doesn’t understand my grief. He thinks our life is good as it is and that we should focus on what we have. We have separate interests and his hobbies mean I don’t see much of him at weekends. I get home from work feeling exhausted and isolated. In our family-orientated society, I am constantly reminded of what I am missing, and increasingly feel I have nothing to live for.
In principle it should be possible for your and you husband to offer a loving home to a child in need if you’re sure parenthood is the only route to contentment. The people around you occupied with raising kids will, in a matter of years, be sitting at home without them, most likely despondent because their children, so lovingly raised, now can barely make it home for lunch on Sundays, if for that matter they even choose to remain within visiting distance.
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Disability Illness Racism And Loneliness
Sometimes loneliness can be caused by something else going on in our lives. Here are some of the major issues which can cause loneliness:
- Mental illness. A lot of mental illnesses like bipolar, anxiety and depression can all make people feel very lonely. Mental illness can make you anxious about seeing others, so you might spend more time indoors. Or it can lead to insomnia, which in turn can make you tired, irritable and lonely.
- Disability. A range of disabilities can often make people feel as though there is no one around them that cares. These feelings can get even worse if people in public are unkind or rude, and facing daily discrimination can make loneliness even harder to bear.
- Racism. People who encounter racism say that being discriminated against can make them feel alone, and can make it harder for them to form real connections. Racism takes a lot of forms, all of them hurtful, so sometimes even a minor or casual act of racism can have big impacts on someones self-esteem.
You Cant Find Meaning Or Purpose
Its not only philosophers that spend time thinking about life and the meaning of it. When you were younger, you probably spent some time trying to figure out what you wanted out of life and what would give your life meaning. But as youve grown older, youre just too busy with life that you forget all about it.
It can be hard to pin point your depression to a lack of meaning in your life. You can have a good family and a good job, but still walk around feeling depressed every day because deep down you have lost that connection with your original purpose and what you wanted in life.
Everyone finds meaning in different things. Some find it through work, relationships, helping others, learning or through creativity.
Take a step back and look at your life. What makes you happy? Do you remember what you originally felt was your purpose in life and are you living according to that still?
Maybe ten years ago, you thought you would find meaning in having a specific job, but now you realize that its not really what you want. Or maybe you went in another direction than you intended to, but you dont feel fulfilled now.
Its never too late to change things. Heres the proof. Take some times to really look at your life and see if you can figure out some things that might look great on the surface, but is secretly suffocation you every day and ultimately making you unhappy and depressed.
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Limit Your Alcohol Intake
Since loneliness can often be associated with other mental health disorders, including clinical anxiety and depression, there are many lifestyle changes you could make that may alleviate the severity of your symptoms. Getting enough exercise during the week and establishing a healthy sleep routine is at the top of the list for some, but taking stock of how much you are drinking may also help you avoid feelings of isolation.
“Avoid using alcohol to manage your feelings, as this can generally make these conditions worse,” Dr. Saltz advises. Alcohol, like other drugs, can amplify feelings of psychological depression, and drinking to avoid feeling lonely can easily lead to addiction as you develop tolerance over time. ” may actually take the edge off one’s anxiety, but then in a couple of weeks you’ll need more to feel that same relief and this is how addiction starts.”
While you don’t have to totally abstain from alcohol, Dr. Saltz says cutting back on how much you drink on a daily basis may actually lessen the intensity of your feelings of loneliness over a longer period of time.
Heres What Happens To Your Body When Youre Lonely
Crissy Milazzo
Independence is an ideal. In American culture, few things seem as prioritized as the freedom of the individual. Loneliness, though, feels like a threatening concept. This creates a bit of a tension, at least for a garden-variety anxiety-and-depression-suffering-sad-girl like me.
Whenever I feel the sweet, blissed-out high that is canceling all my plans via text message, itâs usually followed by a quick burst of existential dread. Before cracking open a smooth 32 tabs on my browser and reading Wikipedia entries about cults for two hours, I often wonder, âam I isolating myself?â I mean, yeah. So how does oneâs constant struggle for maximum independence actually affect their health? Can being lonely have actual, physiological markers that you can see and feel with your bod? Of course! Existence is a nightmare! Just kidding. Managing our exposure to each other is a complicated thing, though. Everyone needs alone time, but experts agree that we need a considerable amount of human interaction and a few deep, meaningful connections to feel that ever-elusive thing known as contentment.
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Draw Out Your Creative Side
Creative pursuits like art, music, and writing can help improve mental health. If these activities bring you joy and help you feel more connected, they may also help reduce feelings of loneliness.
Creation can also leave you with a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction, emotions that might challenge a prevailing mood of loneliness and sadness.
Join A Club Or Group Activity
Take a paper and a pen, now start curating a list of anything that piques your interest, I repeat anything. Now let us check classes, clubs, or activity groups that meet your interest areas. With this sorted, all you have to do is enroll yourself in it and form deeper connections with like-minded people. Plus, a supportive environment will work as a cherry on the cake.
Here we have arranged a list of Support Groups You can Join:
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I Feel Lonely Whats Wrong With Me
When we feel lonely, we often tend to beat ourselves up and think that something is just wrong with us. The more alone we feel, the more we start to have thoughts of not belonging or of feeling rejected by others. Left alone with our thoughts, we become our own worst enemy. An isolated space is the perfect breeding ground for negative, self-critical thoughts. These thought patterns make up the critical inner voice , an internalized enemy that leads to self-destructive thought processes and behaviors. This inner critic feeds into our feelings of isolation, encouraging us to avoid others and remain in a lonely state.
Although our critical inner voices may tell us otherwise, in reality, there is nothing inherently wrong with us that leads us to be lonely. It is a common misconception that people are lonely because they have poor social skills. In fact, new research shows that lonely people have perfectly adequate social skills and even out perform non-lonely individuals when it comes to reading social cues. However, when social pressure is introduced to social skills tests, lonely people often begin to choke. They start to feel very anxious or fear failure. In essence, their self-limiting beliefs or critical inner voices interfere with their natural social abilities.
What If I Need More Help
Sometimes talking to a parent is all you need to start feeling better. Sometimes you need more help. That’s OK, too.
If you are having a sad or bad mood that lasts more than a week or two, let your parent know. Ask them to set up a health visit to check for depression. Your doctor can ask you a few questions or have you fill out a questionnaire that has questions about depression.
Sometimes it might be helpful to talk with a therapist, especially if you have had these feelings for a long time. Your parent can set this up for you. The information you share with your therapist will be kept between the two of you, unless your therapist is worried about your safety.
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Take Stock Of Your Relationships
Next I would like to help you through an exercise that is helpful for taking stock of your relationships. Take out a piece of paper and draw three circles like this:
Inner Circle: Now in your inner circle write the initials of people you are closest withthese are the people you feel know you the best. It is usually 1 to 3 people at most. If you feel no one truly knows you, thats ok, leave this circle blank.
Middle Circle: In the next circle are the people who know you fairly well and you enjoy being with. These are all the folks you would celebrate your birthday with or enjoy following on social media.
Outer Circle: The last circle is people who you like seeing, but are not very close with. They can be people you know through other friends or colleagues who you enjoy working with. You can also include old friends here you would like to get back in touch with.
The outside: Outside all the circles please put the people you would like to know, but do not know yet. This can even be a type of person you would like to know, like a hiking partner or someone to play boardgames with, or an unmet romantic partner.
Here is a student named Skylar I worked with who allowed me to share her circle:
Some notes that might inspire you:
Fill yours out as completely as you can! Then
Share A Good News With A Friend
Well, we have mentioned above to connect with others to battle off your feelings of loneliness but this point in this list of things to do when you feel sad and alone is unique on its own.
Generally when we call a closed one or a friend we are subconsciously involved in complaining about our lives but take a moment and share one piece of happy information with your pal. It will deepen your relationships and feed your brain with positive hormones.
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What If I Don’t Know What To Say
Don’t wait to talk just because you’re not sure what to say. You can keep it simple. You can start just by saying, “Got a minute? I need to talk.” Then say what’s on your mind. For example, “I’ve been feeling down a lot lately. I think I should talk to you about it.” The person you’re talking to might ask you to tell them more. Sometimes, that’s all it takes to get started talking.
Loneliness Can Impact Our Mental And Physical Healthso How Can We Loosen Its Grip
There are plenty of times where we may be aloneworking remotely, commuting solo, or even living by ourselves. Just because were by ourselves doesnt mean we feel lonely. Sometimes we thrive in this alone time, allowing us to do activities we enjoy on our own.
But many of us dont like to admit we all feel lonely from time to time.
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