The Journey From Euphoria To Dysphoria
A narcissist begins as an elevated individual. To others, they are most attractive, excelling in their work and relationships alike. To someone who knows nothing of narcissism, they may even seem superhuman or godlike. For a long time, unsuspecting victims of the narcissist will be wined and dined and treated like royalty.
Eventually, cracks will start to show in the otherwise perfect exterior. By the time that faults start to show, the object of the narcissists affections will be deeply involved. Every negativity that develops will cause severe damage to the mentality of the victim. Over time, most of these victims will escape, leaving the narcissist without a supply for their needs.
Sometimes, the narcissist leaves, and in this case, they may not suffer the consequences of being a depressed narcissist. If not, when the victim escapes the web of the narcissist, the loss of supply will do its damage. This is how the depressed narcissist is born, and the journey from euphoria to dysphoria is complete.
This Is What Its Like Living With A Narcissist But Theres More
Usually, the narcissist will partake in substance abuse as well, which will heighten the negative behavior. During drunkenness, the narcissist will insult and use trigger words to incite anger or start a fight. The drunken narcissist seems pathetic to those who are aware of their tactics, they somehow they continue to portray a lofty image of themselves.
During this time, they can be violent. I have tried to avoid violence before by staying quiet during the rants of the narcissist, but unfortunately, this didnt work either. After trying to start a fight over and over, the narcissist, that I knew, started to throw furniture and my belongings just because I refused to engage in his confrontation.
I was, in effect, witnessing the breaking down of the narcissists greatest power, the power of manipulation.
Massage: More Than Just Relaxing
Researchers at Duke University Medical Center found that full-body massage relieved pain and increased mobility in patients with arthritis in their knees. Therapeutic touch has also been shown to decrease pain and increase the quality of life for fibromyalgia patients. Not just those getting a massage see benefits, either: Giving a massage also offers positive improvements to personal well-being.
The benefits of physical touch
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Do I Need Health Insurance To Receive This Service
The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid. If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.
Narcissistic Injury And Rage
Negative feelings often manifest as rage in people with NPD.
While most of us have felt criticized, disappointed, or rejected at some point in our lives, those with healthy levels of self-esteem and emotional intelligence are able to overcome these negative emotions and move on.
But a person with NPD can experience debilitating feelings of defeat and emptiness in a phenomenon known as narcissistic injury.
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition , narcissistic injury is defined as a hypersensitivity to perceived or actual criticism, wherein those with narcissism internalize humiliation, degradation, and emptiness. Instead, these individuals can respond with defiance, disdain, rage, or revenge.
They can often blame others for their feelings of inadequacy otherwise, they might feel their self-image is at stake when faced with their own failures and shortcomings.
While these reactions dont look like depression, they can be driven by similar symptoms of helplessness and despair.
If you believe that you have traits of narcissism and symptoms of depression, you can reach out to a mental health expert. A therapist can help you work through your symptoms and identify your best self.
There are several types of therapy that are effective in helping people with symptoms of depression.
Since narcissism largely hinges on others attention and admiration for maintaining self-esteem, learning to self-validate can also be pivotal.
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Types Of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Unprincipled Narcissist Characterized by traits of being unsocial, and often acting unscrupulously without fear of consequences and without remorse
Amorous Narcissist Characterized by a lack of respect regarding personal boundaries, unwanted sexual advances, and inappropriate behavior
Compensatory Narcissist Characterized by passive-aggressive tendencies and underlying feelings of inadequacy while dealing with others
Elitist Narcissist Characterized by teens having extremely high opinion of themselves, seeking success to gain superiority over others, and exaggerated bragging
Fanatic Narcissist Characterized by teens suffering a traumatic event earlier in life, leading to them fantasizing about lofty plots and goals of revenge or justice
Narcissism And Depression: What You Need To Know
Reviewed by Laura Angers, LPC
Being diagnosed with a mental health challenge can be complicated enough on its own, but it can add a new layer of difficulty when one diagnosis is connected with another. However, it’s not uncommon for people that struggle with one mental health challenge to also struggle with another as a result, such as narcissism and depression.
Learning to understand each diagnosis and how they relate to one another can be crucial to moving forward healthily.
What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is just one of several different types of personality disorders that exist. While “narcissism” is a word that is often used as an adjective or way of describing a person, that’s not the proper use of it.
It’s a mental health disorder that can be diagnosed by doctors and mental health professionals. It’s not just someone that behaves arrogantly. Many different symptoms come along with NPD. And if someone is unaware that they struggle with it, it can impact every area of their life negatively.
Some of the common symptoms that people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder experience include:
While many of these symptoms may not surprise you, there are a few that may. This includes things like having low self-esteem and struggling with depression.
This is also what can lead to depression in people that struggle with NPD.
What Is Depression?
What’s The Connection Between Narcissism And Depression?
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Complex Ptsd From Narcissistic Abuse
Complex post-traumatic stress disorder or C-PTSD for short is a relatively newer term in the list of mental health disorders. Complex PTSD refers to trauma symptoms that stem from prolonged psychological and emotional abuse that is being endured since a relatively early age by the survivor.
Contrary to PTSD, Complex PTSD has a chronic abuse history as seen in narcissistic abuse faced during childhood under narcissist parent and/or childhood sexual or physical abuse. Often these survivors of childhood trauma endure abuse during adulthood too mostly at the hand of their partner. The past of these individuals is layered with the history of extreme verbal and emotional abuse that disrupts their emotional and psychological wellbeing and promotes a sense of shame and guilt that remain deep-seated and perpetuate into their adulthood.
Individuals with Complex PTSD carry with them a sense of helplessness and loss of self-worth that is a result of dealing with continuous trauma as a child where circumstances made them believe that there is no escape from the emotional and verbal abuse that used to wreak havoc with their mental health and life at large.
How Is Npd Managed
If you have NPD traits and no other cause is found, the doctor may refer to a psychiatrist or psychologist to help draw up a mental health care plan.
Psychotherapy, or talking to a therapist, is the most useful treatment approach, although more research is required to determine the most effective therapies. The aim is to develop a more realistic self-image and enable the person to relate to others more positively. The type of therapy used can include:
- Psychodynamic therapy long-term individual therapy that helps a person to understand their behaviours, moods and disruptive thoughts. These insights can help them find better ways to relate to others.
- Cognitive behaviour therapy helps people identify negative, unhelpful behaviour patterns and replace them with more productive and positive ones.
- Family or marital therapy NPD can affect families. Coming together for a session can help people in dealing with relationships, with problem solving solutions and positive communication.
Theres no specific medicine to treat NPD. However, people with NPD sometimes also develop depression or anxiety, and in such cases antidepressant medications may help.
If you are concerned about suicide risk for a person with NPD, then seek medical advice urgently.
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Anxiety After Narcissistic Abuse
In everyday life, several factors are anxiety-provoking but nothing is as severe and as troubling as anxiety occurring as a result of narcissistic abuse. Narcissists are very clever while choosing their victims. They tend to choose people who are empathetic and understandable since these people will never question the extreme verbal abuse that a narcissist often inflicts upon them, and will take the blame on themselves just as the abuser desires.
This attitude favors the narcissist abuser but robs the survivor of their self-confidence, shatters their personality, and gives them a crippling anxiety disorder since they are constantly subjected to abusive comments and are always manipulated into believing that they are worthless.
Narcissistic individuals are experts at what they do and they seamlessly craft a web of lies and deceit using gaslighting and other tactics of victim-blaming that make the victim doubt their sanity. They make the victim think that they are mentally unstable and this leads to bouts of anxiety, feeling of helplessness, and confusion. This anxious state of the victim makes the narcissistic individual feel powerful as it fuels their ego to see someone suffering and humiliated, that too at their hands- to them this is power!
Overt Vs Covert Narcissist
NPD is typically divided into two subtypes, including overt and covert narcissism.
While both types share many similarities, including a lack of empathy, an inflated sense of self-importance, and a need for admiration, the way that each type presents outwardly can differ.
In particular, people with overt narcissism are generally more extroverted and are
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What Being With A Narcissist Really Means
Narcissists are focused on self-esteem enhancement.
The main goal in life for most people with narcissistic personality disorder is self-esteem enhancement. Narcissism can be conceptualized as a self-esteem regulation disorder in which narcissists are perpetually insecure about their status. They may appear highly confident to you, but there is always a lurking doubt about their self-worth underneath the confident façade.
In essence, this means that self-esteem enhancement is ultimately more important to them than you can ever be. When their self-esteem dips, narcissists only have two choices:
Naturally, they choose the latter. As the closest person to them, they are likely to devalue you in order to feel more important again. A wise woman once told me, When they feel fat, they complain about your weight.
Narcissists lack emotional empathy.
A lack of emotional empathy means that narcissists do not feel bad when they hurt you. They may not even notice your reaction. If they do, they are highly unlikely to care. If you complain, they will deny responsibilityYou are too sensitive. Or they will blame youIf you werent so stupid, I wouldnt have to correct you so often.
Narcissists lack the capacity to see themselves and other people realistically.
Be Mindful Of Grandiose Promises
You have probably heard all sorts of exciting, lofty promises about the future. At times, these words will feel authentic and enticing. You will want to believe them wholeheartedly, especially if you feel committed to making the relationship work.
But be careful. People with narcissism will often talk a good talk when it comes to making improvements. But, once they convince you that things will get better, they often lose the motivation to follow through with their intentions. Remember that change is measured by actionable behaviornot by promises or future claims.
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How Is Clinical Depression Different From Sadness
Its normal to feel sad when faced with stressful or emotional situations, but how can you distinguish feelings of sadness from clinical depression symptoms? The answer is complex.
If youve tried everything to make your depression go away, but feel locked into the emotional roller coaster of sadness and despair, you may have clinical depression. Clinical depression can be treated with a number of options that you can discuss with your doctor.
Narcissists Instill Constant Fear And Worry In Their Victims
The constant emotional abuse makes the victims lose their confidence, sanity and they are always stressed. This constant stress leads to them being afraid of doing anything wrong , so they end up being always anxious and worried. They become depressed and unhappy, and start to avoid other people.
Victims dont feel capable of functioning properly and out of the fear of making social gaffes , they shun society. Some victims give up their jobs too, as they become utterly disabled and unable to work efficiently. Narcissistic abuse completely shatters the self-esteem and destroys the mental well-being of their victims. They will blame their partner for every bad outcome, will do everything to avoid responsibility for failures. They will pick fights over the smallest things and blame the fight on their victim.
This is how, narcissistic abuse leads to anxiety and depression, as their depleted sense of being leads to victims mental and psychological ill-health. Victims develop diseases which arise due to stress, suffer from self-dissociation and fall into clinical depression.
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Vulnerable Narcissism & Depression
Vulnerable narcissists tend to be most at risk of developing depression. Theyre often introverted, sensitive, and prone to experiencing anxiety and shame. They may also struggle to maintain close friendships as they focus heavily on themselves, require attention, and are hyper-sensitive to perceived criticism. Their lack of insight into these patterns may lead them to feel disappointed, underappreciated, ashamed, angry, and lacking in external validation.3
Accept What You Cant Change
Narcissism can be frustrating, and its reasonable to wish you could change your loved one. However, trying to control or improve their behavior often backfires. It can leave you feeling helpless. Acceptance doesnt mean liking a particular situation. It simply means that you acknowledge that it is what it is, and its out of your control to change it.
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Strategy : Learn To Recognize Manipulation
Narcissists are naturally skilled manipulators in that they have a strong sense of self-preservation and know how to elicit other peoples emotions to fulfill their own agenda. The manipulative behaviors may or may not be intentional, but they have the effect of leading others to act a certain way.
While you may deeply care about the person you are in a relationship with, you need to dispassionatelystudy the tactics and behaviors that narcissists use in order to defend against them.
The good news is that narcissists often come back to the same tactics once theyve discovered their effectiveness. You can learn to identify these tactics and practice no longer engaging with them. One of the easiest ways to survive a narcissist is to catch the red flags. The more you engage with them, the more likely it is that these behaviors will continue.
Here are a few to keep an eye out for:
- Guilt-tripping:
- Narcissistic Rage:
Do your research and learn all the ways a narcissist manipulates and you will be able to reduce the amount of power they hold over you.
For more information on this topic, check out the video 8 Manipulation Games Narcissists Will Play With You HERE
Narcissists And How They Affect Your Depression
Most of the time, a narcissist will do everything in his or her power to maintain some level of control over you, so your depression gives them a chance to twist in the screws a little tighter. Rather than helping you through it, theyll put their proverbial foot on top of your proverbial head and spit on you as you try to climb out of the depths of hell. Thats why, if youre still currently dealing with the narc in your life, you might want to consider working toward going no contact . Your life may depend on it.
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How Is Npd Diagnosed
A doctor will do an initial mental health assessment and may carry out physical examinations to ensure no physical illness is causing the symptoms.
There is no specific test for NPD. For a diagnosis of NPD, people must have at least 5 of the following criteria:
- an exaggerated sense of self-importance
- fantasies of great success, power, attractiveness, beauty or ideal love
- believing themselves to be special, and only able to be understood by others who are also special
- an increased sense of entitlement
- a need for constant admiration or attention
- taking advantage of others, envying others, or believing others envy them
- arrogance or haughtiness
- a lack of empathy
- envy towards others, or believing others are envious of them
The doctor will talk to the person, get to know them and ask some questions to understand their history and how severe the symptoms are. Sometimes it may take weeks or months to be diagnosed.
When The Narcissist Fails
This has little or nothing to do with you. Early in the relationship, they are likely to see you as perfect, flawless, and special . Then, as they get to know you and begin to see the imperfections that we all have and the ways that you differ from their ideal fantasy mate, they are likely to switch to seeing you as irredeemably flawed .
Happiness is temporary: This lack of whole object relations plays itself out during the relationship on a moment-to-moment basis. This makes any happiness that the two of you ever feel together temporary and fragile. It is vulnerable to being disrupted unexpectedly because narcissists are so hypersensitive and unable to maintain a stable, positive image of you when they feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or frustrated by you.
Narcissists lack object constancy: In essence, this means that the moment that your narcissistic mate feels something negative, it disrupts the positive connection between you, and everything positive flies out the window. Your whole positive history with them and everything nice that you have ever done for them is now totally out of their awareness. You are left wondering how this can happen: one minute your mate is totally loving and the two of you are so happy, the next minute your mate hates you.
The answer is that the lack of object constancy is a consequence of not having whole object relations.
ExampleRosie and Al watching television
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