Learn About What Your Friend Is Going Through
Not totally sure what depression or anxiety are, or how to help a friend with depression or anxiety? A really great first step in helping your friend is to find out more about depression, anxiety or anything else your friend is going through this will help you to better understand what’s happening and how they feel.
My friends try to learn more about what Im experiencing, especially asking for and going to sources of information I recommend. hellofriend
You Can Move Forward In The Face Of Your Depression
Some people believe that having depression makes them weak or broken. The truth is that every day they get out of bed, go to work, or move forward while living with depression is proof of their ability to keep going.
Depression can feel like a weight on your chest. For some people, it can be a disability.
However, every day that someone keeps going while theyre living with depression is proof they can keep going.
Support Your Loved One In Their Day
While starting treatment is a crucial component to managing depression, your loved one may still need help with their daily functioning. One good way to help may be offering to go to a therapy appointment with them to hear directly from their mental healthcare provider, says Michelle Riba, MD, a clinical professor of psychiatry and associate director of the Comprehensive Depression Center at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor.
You can also offer to help them with tasks that may feel overwhelming, like grocery shopping, laundry, or cleaning the house, or simply suggest you take a quick walk around the block together to get them out and about, Dr. Riba says.
Establishing a routine is also very helpful, says Thames. You might try to make that walk happen every day, for example. Regular physical activity can help ease stress and release endorphins and other neurotransmitters, or chemicals in the brain, that play a role in boosting mood, Thames says.
One form of treatment for depression is behavioral activation, which involves engaging in activities one find meaningful, such as doing an enjoyable form of exercise or volunteering, according to the Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy in Bala Cynwyd, Pennsylvania.
Encouraging your loved one to do activities that give them personal satisfaction is important but dont go overboard with activities and socializing, Thames cautions.
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Depression And Body Connection
Do you still feel you or your loved one may not need the treatment for depression and will get okay with time? Think again. Depression is a mental disorder but affects your entire body. It will eventually make you physically weak.
Here are some of the top symptoms that will occur in your entire body when depression is left untreated:
Find Your Own Support
When someone you love has depression, it can take quite a toll. You might start to feel as though you may have depression yourself. A therapist can help you work through challenges and come up with a sustainable game plan for the long term.
A support group is also a great place to process emotions and meet like-minded people who understand what youre going through. Find a free, confidential NAMI family support in your area.
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Heartwarming Ways To Help Someone Beat Depression
Depression is a common mental health concern that affects millions of people. Life is tough, and if the daily grind isnt enough to keep you down and blue, then you have the genetic factors that come into play. One of the most significant aspects of caring about someone with any mental health concern is making sure they have an extensive support system.
When going through depression, it matters who is around you, as some folks tend to make the situation worse. If youre an animal lover, have you ever noticed how a dog turns its head from side to side and wags its tail when talking to them in a specific tone?
Its not really what youre saying that matters so much, but when you pay attention to them, it does good things for their mood. How much more do human beings need your time and attention to help them on their darkest days?
Continue Supporting Them And Respond To Emergencies
On a bad day, your friend might not want to leave their room. If they say something like Im going to cancel my appointment today, encourage them to follow through with the appointment.
Whether or not your friend has decided to get professional help, its important that they know they can get support from you, or other friends and family.
If you think your friend may be in danger or at risk of hurting themselves or someone else, seek help from a trusted adult or emergency mental health service immediately. Call 000 to reach emergency services and also tell someone you trust.
In more serious cases, its important to let an older/more responsible adult know whats going on. You dont have to be perfect all the time and making mistakes are inevitable and a good thing as we can learn from them. Anzelmo
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Know The Symptoms And How To Reach Out
Depression looks different from person to person, but in general, the major symptoms include:
If you notice these signs in someone you love, the first thing you should do is show your support. You might feel worried about approaching them, but it’s important to be straightforward and express your concern, says Max Maisel, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles.
You might consider saying something like:
- “I’ve noticed you have been spending most of your time alone in the past few weeks, and you haven’t been going out with us anymore. I wanted to check in and see if you’re okay. Is there anything I can do to help?”
- “I’ve noticed you haven’t been eating and that you’re withdrawing more. I love you and I want to help you feel better.”
When speaking with your loved one, Feld says it’s important to be honest about what you are noticing and reflect what you are seeing back to them. Try to avoid coming off as judgmental or critical as that will likely cause them to get defensive and withdraw even more.
And don’t worry if your loved one doesn’t respond right away, Maisel says. You have shown them that you care enough to say something, which can be encouraging to them. You can always check in again later to see if they are ready to talk.
Be Alert To Signs That Treatment Is Not Working
On the other hand, the absence of any such signs most likely means that ones depression is not improving and may be getting worse, Halaris notes, adding that a major concern in the absence of improvement is whether your loved one is having suicidal thoughts.
This is where you need to very gently raise the question whether they are having even fleeting thoughts of their life not being worth living, Halaris says.
According to Mayo Clinic, signs your loved one may be considering suicide include:
- Making statements such as I wish I were dead or I wish I hadnt been born
- Purchasing a gun or hoarding pills
- Fixating on violence, death, or dying
- Withdrawing from social contact with others
- Feeling hopeless or trapped in their current situation
- Telling people, goodbye, as if theyre going to disappear
- Getting their affairs in order or giving away their belongings with no other plausible explanation for doing so
If your loved one shows signs of considering or planning to take their own life, Halaris and Riba recommend taking steps to reduce their risk of attempting or completing suicide, such as:
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Or Spend Time With Loved Ones
Depression can tempt you to isolate yourself and withdraw from people you love and trust, but face-to-face time can help wash away those tendencies.
If youre unable to spend time together in person, phone calls or video chats can also be helpful.
Try to remind yourself these people care about you. Resist the temptation to feel like youre a burden. You need the interaction and they likely do, too.
Research has shown that keeping a journal can be a beneficial add-on method for managing mental health conditions.
Writing down your thoughts can help you express what youre feeling more clearly. It can also help you keep track of what symptoms youre having each day and identify what causes them.
You can make a goal to write for a few minutes each day or week. Most importantly, what you want to write about is completely up to you.
When you do the same thing day after day, you use the same parts of your brain.
Research shows doing new things can feel rewarding improve your overall well-being and strengthen your social relationships.
To reap these benefits, consider trying a new sport, taking a creative class, or learning a new cooking technique.
Encourage Them To Get Out And Do Things
This is a tricky one, because theres a fine line between encouraging someone to get out and do things that might help them find meaning and contentment again, and forcing someone into a situation theyre not capable of dealing with.
Dont just harangue someone into going along with whatever activity you want to do, but it might be helpful to get the person out of the house even just for a quick walk.
Ask what they feel capable of doing, and if they are able to go out, be the person they know they can go with if and when theyre ready.
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Tips To Help Someone Who Seems Down
- Let them know you care and are there to listen.
- Accept them as they are, without judging them.
- Gently encourage them to help themselves for example, by staying physically active, eating a balanced diet and doing things they enjoy.
- Get information about the services available to them, such as psychological therapy services or depression support groups in their area.
- Stay in touch with them by messaging, texting, phoning or meeting for coffee. People who are depressed can become isolated and may find it difficult to leave their home.
- Try to be patient.
- Take care of yourself.
Encourage Them To Get Help
Encourage your friend or family member with depression to seek help. They may struggle to manage this on their own. If they are reluctant to seek help for depression, suggest making an appointment for a routine check-up or offer to help by making an appointment for them and helping them to attend.
Encourage them to make a list of their symptoms to take along with them to their appointment. You can offer to help by suggesting they include some of the signs and symptoms of depression that you may have noticed.
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Signs That Someone May Be Depressed
Depression has lots of possible symptoms.
You may notice that someone:
- has lost interest in doing things they normally enjoy
- seems to be feeling down or hopeless
- has slower speech and movements or is more fidgety and restless than usual
- feels tired or does not have much energy
- is overeating or has lost their appetite
- is sleeping more than usual or is not able to sleep
- has trouble concentrating on everyday things, such as watching TV or reading the paper
What To Say To Someone Whos Depressed
If your loved one does want to open up to you, its important that you respond to them in a compassionate and supportive way. You could use phrases such as:
- Im here for you if you need me
- What can I do to help?
- This must be incredibly difficult
- Its ok to feel like this
- Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength not weakness
- Try to look on the bright side
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Do Not Dismiss Or Make Light Of Their Feelings
Depression and mental health conditions do not have an on-off switch, and its harmful to imply that they do. Using phrases such as snap out of it or get over it can make someone feel invalid, Dr. Chaudhary and Dr. HoganBruen say.
Try not to be dismissive, or make light of their depression as not a big deal, Dr. Chaudhary explains. Its also best not to try to encourage them to snap out of it, as people say that that feels really invalidating and they feel like the other person doesn’t really understand the extent of how bad the depression is, or that snapping out of it is not in their control in the first place.
Also, dont tell them to look at the bright side or try to find a silver lining. Often, when people are feeling depressed, they don’t necessarily see a bright side, and if they did, saying that can feel like you’re not hearing how badly they’re feeling or letting them express the dark side, too, Dr. Chaudhary explains.
Finally, dont try to speculate or guess why they are depressed or are feeling symptoms of depression. Although that’s often well-intentioned, it can come off as insensitive and usually isn’t accurate, Dr. Chaudhary says. Instead, wait for them to describe their situation or their triggers, and give them a chance to explain themselves. Or, ask them thoughtful questions like, How long have you been feeling like this?, Dr. HoganBruen suggests.
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Know The Warning Signs For Suicide
The best way to help prevent suicide is to know what to look for and be prepared to intervene if you think someone may be in danger. Warning signs include:
- Talking about wanting to die
- Looking for a way to kill themselves, like searching online or buying a gun
- Talking about feeling hopeless
- Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
- Talking about being a burden to others
- Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs
- Acting anxious or agitated, or behaving recklessly
- Sleeping too little or too much
- Withdrawing or isolating themselves
- Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
- Having extreme mood swings
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What Not To Say To Someone With Depression
What not to say
Just remember: Advice isnt the same as asking for help. If they ask for your advice, give it if you so choose. But dont offer them helpful solutions or statements that seem like a cure for their depression. This can feel judgmental or not empathetic.
Dont say:
- Just think happy thoughts. I dont understand what you have to be so sad about.
- Everything will be OK, I promise.
- I cut out sugar, and I was cured! You should try it.
- You just need to snap out of this.
- So many people out there are worse off than you.
What Is Depression
Imagine you have a friend. His name is Brooky Blue. Your friendship with Brooky Blue starts with a bang. You hang around a lot, watch movies, eat snacks, and study together. It is the happiest of times and you’re sure that your friendship with Brooky Blue is the healthiest. But what you don’t know is that Brooky Blue is one little demon with bad intentions. He slowly wins your trust and gains control over your emotions. Then he tosses you in the vicious circle of self-worthlessness, sadness, and apathy.
Brooky Blue is depression.
You don’t know it’s coming over you. And when you finally know, it’s too late!
According to Medical News Today, in medical terms, depression is a mental health disorder characterized by low mood, loss of appetite and sleep, the feeling of worthlessness, and continuous sadness. If the symptoms remain present for more than 4 weeks, you can be officially diagnosed with Depression.
Its so difficult to describe depression to someone whos never been there because its not sadness. I know sadness. Sadness is to cry and to feel. But its that cold absence of feeling – that really hollowed-out feeling. J.K. Rowling
According to the World Health Organization:
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How You Can Help
It might seem small, but just doing things together, being there and staying connected can be a big help.
Depression and anxiety are so common that its highly likely that at some point youll know someone who might be experiencing it. It might be someone in your whnau, a team-mate or someone from your community. People with depression and anxiety are more likely to get through with help and support than on their own.Being depressed and anxious can be a really lonely experience. Sometimes the most important thing is having supportive people around or checking in. Having a coffee, watching television, phoning or texting to say Hi can help a lot. When youre feeling down, knowing that people are thinking of you can really lift your spirits.Often when people are feeling bad they dont want to go out and do anything. Everything feels just too hard. So encouraging them to do something with you is a great support. It could be something small like watching funny video clips, listening to music, going for a walk or window-shopping. Think about something you both like to do. There are different things you can do, depending on who youre trying to help: