Take Care Of Yourself
It can be very stressful coping with another person’s depression. It’s OK to take some time out for yourself. Self-care is not selfish. In fact, you’ll both be better off if you carve out time to safeguard your mind, body, and spirit with habits like:
- Spending time in nature
- Staying socially connected
Caring for yourself might also mean knowing when it’s time to say goodbye. Certainly, this decision should be weighed carefully . But if your or your children’s emotional or physical well-being or safety is at risk, you may need to walk away.
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For people struggling with depression, its important to have compassion and to take action to overcome this state, including seeking professional help. Remember that the negative thoughts you are experiencing are likely being driven by depression, not by a person. Depression can lead to the ultimate negative outcome of death, so please consider calling National Hotline if your significant other is experiencing thoughts of self-harm. SAMHSAs National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
There are many types of treatment that have proven to be effective for depression, but two are the most effective: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy .
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy . CBT is problem-focused and action-oriented meaning it is used to treat specific problems related to depression and the therapists role is to assist the patients in finding and practicing effective strategies to address the identified goals and decrease symptoms of the disorder and limit adverse outcomes.
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Betterhelp: A Better Alternative
Those who are seeking therapy online may also be interested in BetterHelp. BetterHelp offers plenty of formats of therapy, ranging from live chats, live audio sessions and live video sessions. In addition, unlimited messaging through texting, audio messages and even video messages are available here.
BetterHelp also offers couples therapy and therapy for teenagers in its platform. Furthermore, group sessions can also be found in this platform, covering more than twenty different topics related to mental health and mental illness. The pricing of BetterHelp is also pretty cost-effective, especially considering the fact that the platform offers financial aid to most users.
In this blog guide, we found out how to deal with a depressed girlfriend and found out what not to do when your girlfriend is depressed.
The healing process of depression can be complicated, but it can help solidify your companionship. Communicate, clarify, and respond compassionately. A nurturing relationship is one in which you respect and honor each others needs.
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Familiarize Yourself With Your Depressed Girlfriends Actual Capabilities Right Now
There is a huge difference between meanness, abuse and shitty behavior and things depressed people have a hard time doing.
It might seem like healthy boundaries should extend to normal relationship behavior.
This is because, when everyone is healthy, having your loved one withdraw their affection feels like a very personal rejection of you. Since nothing unusual is going on with them, withdrawal of affection is often a sign of a problem with the relationship.
However, when your depressed girlfriend pulls away from you, it can be the illness OR it could be you.
The difference can be a really fine line, so I want to talk about that.
If youre disappointed that your depressed girlfriend isnt emotionally available as often, isnt affectionate, doesnt want sex, has withdrawn and has a hard time making or keeping plans, sure, I can understand wanting to sit her down and ask about this.
Now, like I mentioned since you have most likely crossed over into cant rather than wont territory trying negotiate with her for more or better time, sex, love or affection will go very badly since she doesnt have these things to give you.
Just as continually trying to train a cat to bark will leave you scratched up and frustrated, so will trying to get more genuine caring and affection from a depressed person.
They are already trying as hard as they can and are well aware theyre coming up short.
My Girlfriend Has Depression What Should I Do
Is your girlfriend depressed, and its ruining your relationship?
She might be:
- Getting angry easily even over minor things
- Getting worse by the day
- A drama queen with violent mood swings
- Showing tendencies of turning into a female sociopath
- On the verge of leaving you
If any of the above sounds like your girlfriend
and if you love her very much and want her to be happy
then youll need to do something, and FAST.
This Shogun Method guide will show you exactly what to do.
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Make It Clear That Youre With Her Because You Want To Be
NO ONE wants to feel like theyre your pity case.
When your depressed girlfriend protests that you, could do better, in the sense that you should go out and immediately date someone else, do your best to simply ignore it.
Shes likely very aware of her limitations right now in the affection department.
And, research suggests she might be even more reactive to your pain since her low mood right now can make empathetic distress worse.
The fact that your depressed girlfriend cant really reciprocate your affections in a normal way most likely makes her feel more shame and guilt.
In turn, this causes her to feel like a bigger burden to you and then the whole thing spirals.
Other than that, liberally use the words, Im not bothered, when she says the stuff about your relationship and then dont act bothered.
This strategy to help your depressed girlfriend wont work if you let her protests get to you , because shell see youre upset and feel worse about her behavior. Then shell push you away for your own good.
Make it clear that youre with her because you want to be and dont take her cognitive thought distortions about your relationship personally. That leads me to my next point.
Theyre Not Lazy Theyre Depressed
One of the common misconceptions of depressed people is that they are lazy. This comes from the fact that they can often be messy and unproductive when they are in depressive stages. In fact, this is a direct symptom of depression. It is not that they are lazy, it is that they are exhausted, both mentally and physically. Depression takes a toll on the mind, often leaving its victims too drained to do the things they would normally do in life, making it hard to even get out of bed.
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Take Time For Yourself When You Need It
Its only natural to want to help and do whatever you can to make things a little easier for them. You wont have much to offer if you neglect your own basic needs, though.
Everyone needs time for self-care, but looking after your well-being becomes even more essential when supporting a loved one. If you prioritize their needs at the expense of your own, youll end up overwhelmed and resentful.
Exhaustion and stress can eventually lead to burnout. You might even begin to experience depression symptoms yourself.
To maintain mental health, good self-care practices are key.
- Build emotional awareness through meditation, journaling, or art.
- Relax with friends and family.
Find more tips on creating a personalized self-care plan here.
An added benefit of taking care of your physical and mental health? It can encourage your partner to do the same.
Healthy boundaries make healthier relationships.
Establishing boundaries means setting limits around specific behaviors that dont work for you. Boundaries help safeguard physical and emotional needs, so honoring them is healthy. It doesnt make you selfish or uncaring.
Maybe your partner regularly cancels plans when they feel low, which you completely understand. The challenge lies in the fact that they want you to skip out, too. You set a boundary by telling them that unless its an emergency, youll go ahead with the plans you made.
How It All Started
When my boyfriend of two years started to get a bit emotional, I told him it was hormones, or the stress of exams, and I said I would hold his hand whenever he felt sad. One Sunday about a month later, I was sitting at home watching the telly when he called and asked to come over. Thinking he was just a bit down, I said: Of course! I’ll meet you at the train station.
An hour later, when I met him, I wished I had a car. I practically had to carry him home, as he was sobbing in my arms. I was unbelievably confused. This was my boyfriend, the guy who cuddles me when I cry, and is always tough and strong and manly. Yet, here he was, as small and sad as a lost kitten, crying his eyes out because he had an argument with one of his friends. He hates me, they all hate me, I hate me, he kept saying. To me, he was perfect funny, smart, kind and caring. One of the best people I knew. It was so hard to sit and watch him say all these things about himself that I knew werent true. I tried for weeks to convince him otherwise, but he refused to listen to a word I said.
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How To Deal With A Constant Sense Of Dread
Do you ever feel an overwhelming sense of impending doom? A deep feeling of anxiety in the pit of your stomach, but you dont know why?
Well, according to experts, you might be experiencing foreboding, which is a feeling that something bad will happen, or generalised anxiety.
When you walk around with that feeling of constant dread and gloom, it can often feel like youre getting a premonition or a gut instinct, Psychologist Wendy Dignan tells Metro.co.uk.
People may say, I just know that something awful is going to happen and they start to walk around worrying that an awful thing is going to tap them on the shoulder and sneak up on them.
This is because, when youre stressed and anxious, your brain puts you on high alert for danger or possible emergencies.
However, people with this deep sense of dread may then begin to do something called forecasting if something good happens to them.
Wendy explains: They get the crystal ball out and start forecasting worst-case scenarios. They start to get a fear of feeling happy because they think it will be followed by something bad.
This forecasting otherwise known as catastrophising is a coping mechanism but not necessarily a healthy one.
Dread is often caused by a fear of not knowing what is coming next, says Simone Thomas, Founder of Simone Thomas Wellness.
An example of this is the rising cost of living, from energy bills to essential day-to-day expenses.
She Isnt Shameless For Not Accomplishing Anything Shes Full Of Shame So Adding More By Giving Her A Hard Time Isnt Going To Help
The fact that shes admitted to you that she hasnt accomplished anything is probably vulnerable in and of itself because deep down, she knows as well as you do that this isnt normal, healthy behavior.
I guarantee that she isnt enjoying this time or viewing it as self-indulgence. Beating her up emotionally or trying to talk some sense into her isnt tough love, it could be fatal.
Like I just said, basic self care things like brushing her teeth and hair, showering, wearing clean clothes and cooking might be really, really hard in a way you might not understand if you havent experienced it.
Instead, empathize with her and be kind.
Help your depressed girlfriend if you can without it being a burden or something youre going to throw back in her face later.
Keep your own well being in mind should you choose to help with any of her general responsibilities in a temporary way.
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My Girlfriends Depression Is Bringing Me Down I Feel Helpless
It sounds like you have been a tremendous source of love, strength, and support for your girlfriend in her battle with depression. That takes incredible patience and compassion, but it can also take a toll on you. In cases of chronic depression, it is very common for partners to begin to feel more like caretakers than anything else. Very often, when one takes on the role of caretaker, it becomes such a consuming task that the caretaker loses touch with himself/herself. Its a positive sign that you seem to have a solid sense not only of where she is, but also where you are. It also seems like you have come to the realization that this situation is not sustainable and that something must change. So the question, as you insightfully pose, is where do you go from here?
Also, if her depression has lasted for years with no improvement, it might be time to look at changing the treatment plan. This could mean adding individual and/or group therapy to her treatment regimen, trying a new therapeutic approach, or making a change to her medication. Consider suggesting that she talk about these possibilities with her psychiatrist and therapist . If, after years of treatment, she isnt getting any better, something probably needs to change. Your girlfriend should know that she has the right to be an active participant in her treatment plan and to discuss changes to this plan with her clinicians.
Respectfully,
Create Natural And Clear Boundaries Between Yourself And Other Ladies
Fear is what you can perceive as groundless jealousy. Moreover, it is feared that her illness will scare you or leave her for another woman who does not have the same problem. Only welcome women in your life who respect and praise your relationship and love your girlfriend as much as you do. It creates and supports bridges of trust.
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Why Does My Girlfriend Push Me Away When Shes Sad
Its not that she doesnt want me around. I think its the opposite: she wants to be with me but doesnt feel like she deserves my support at this moment in time.
If your girlfriend is depressed and is pushing you away, its likely because she feels bad about herself or has some other concern that makes her feel unworthy of your love and support. This is all about her issues, nothing to do with you!
Why does she want to be alone if she feels so bad then? When negative feelings overcome depressed people, theyll often retreat into themselves in an attempt to block out whats bothering them and calm down.
They might also start tuning out or checking out of conversations. I found this post about why people check out when theyre feeling down to help understand whats going on in my girlfriends head right now.
The important thing to realize here is that depressed people arent usually doing these things because theyre mad at you or dont want to see you theyre doing it because they feel bad about themselves and are trying to cope with the feeling. Being alone is their way of coping.
When depressed people are surrounded by people, especially people they love, Ive found that it can be hard for the person suffering to access those negative feelings. Its easy to fall into denial in these situations and tell ourselves that people arent angry or upset with us.
Provide Support During Recovery
While recovery from depression is possible, it can be challenging at times. To support a partner during the recovery process:
- help them keep track of their appointments and medications
- do some physical activity together most days
- plan and prepare healthful meals together
- try to reduce stressors in the home
- make goals small and achievable
- encourage them to socialize with others
- plan fun activities together
- point out the persons progress on their journey to recovery
- avoid forcing treatment on the person
Let them know that they are not alone by saying things such as:
- I am here for you.
- We will deal with this together.
It may also be helpful to attend a support group for family members of those with a mental health condition. Couples may also benefit from couples therapy or family-based counseling.
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Know The Warning Signs
While its never something anyone wants to think about, its important that you know the warning signs of suicide. This will help lessen the risk of something going wrong and will ensure youre aware of subtle changes in your girlfriends demeanor.
If your girlfriend displays any of the following behaviors, seek medical assistance as soon as possible:
- Talking about feelings of hopelessness and despair
- Finding a search history full of suicidal queries
- Increasing anxiety
- Talking about being a burden to others
- Openly voices ways to kill herself
- Extreme mood swings
Treatment For Depression At Gia Miami
At GIA Miami, we know just how difficult it can be to watch someone you love battling depression. Were here to give you all the advice you need and help you and your partner navigate this challenging time.Read more: TMS Therapy
Remember, recovery is possible – your girlfriend just needs proper care, support, and treatment to overcome depression, and were here to help. We provide a range of treatment options for all kinds of mental health conditions, including counseling, therapy, and medication.
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