Friday, June 14, 2024

What Not To Say To A Depressed Person

Suicide Is So Selfish

How To Talk To A Depressed Person | What NOT To Say

Suicide is a desperate act by someone who is in intense pain and wants their pain to stop. This is not a selfish response, it is a human response a decision no one makes unless they feel there is truly no other option.

For someone who has a mental illness and especially those having thoughts about suicide, it is so important that they are supported to get help.

Being Depressed Is Better Than

Minimizing a depressed persons problems may seem like youre giving them perspective, but in fact, it makes the depress person feel as though you think they are making up their illness. While a healthy person can step outside their perspective and change their attitude, clinical depression prevents normal thinking.

Instead of reminding the person what they dont have to deal with, try to listen to their concerns and validate that depression is a troubling medical condition. Again, regardless of outside stress, mental problems will sometimes be worse than others. Simply showing concern for the person is much more helpful, and wont make them feel like their condition is being minimized.

Breathe In Through The Nose Out Through The Mouth

One of the first things that happens when you start to spiral or have an anxiety attack is you forget to breathe, which leads to hyperventilating, which in turn leads to strengthening the episode or attack. Getting people to concentrate on their breathing sometimes helps clear their minds of whatever sent them down the rabbit hole, and often prevents a full on panic attack.

Recommended Reading: Major Depressive Disorder Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Assure Them They’re Not Weak Or Defective

Those who are coping with depression tend to feel weak or that there is something wrong with them. While depression is an illness, those who live with it may feel that it’s a character flaw.

Reassure your friend that depression really is an illness caused by a biochemical imbalance in the brain, and it does not mean that they are weak. In fact, it takes a great deal of strength to fight back, so they are probably much stronger than they think they are.

Their Empathy Score Is High

3 Things Not to Say to Someone in Depression {and what to ...

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

Don’t Miss: Best Way To Beat Seasonal Depression

Happiness Is A Choice

While happiness may be a choice, depression most certainly isnt.

People dont choose to be depressed, Anderson says. Its not fun. It can impair ones entire life and many are incapacitated as a result. Its not okay to blame or insinuate that a persons disorder is their fault or that their psychological suffering is a choice.

What Not To Say: Cheer Up

When you tell someone to cheer up, youre assuming that its easy to shake off depression. By doing so, youre trivializing their condition. For someone with depression, cheering up is not a simple task, and its crucial to understand that no one with depression wants to feel the way they do.

I would often go to work and people would pass me by and say things such as, Smile! or the obnoxious, Cheer up! and Id feel overwhelmed with emotion. The fact Id even managed to get out of bed, get dressed and go to work was a huge achievement. Considering that during my battle with depression, even when I was at work, I would often be consumed by suicidal thoughts and was constantly on the verge of crying, comments like this made me feel worthless.

Recommended Reading: Homeopathy For Anxiety And Depression

Unanswered Issues About What Not To Say To Someone With Clinical Depression Unveiled

Depressing creates in the loss as well as winter due to the fact that shorter daylight hrs and also less sunlight change the bodys biological rhythm, and specific mood-regulating hormonal agents, like serotonin, oscillate with the seasons. Light therapy involves sitting in front of a light therapy box that releases an extremely what not to say to someone with clinical depression bright light . It generally requires 20 mins or even more each day, normally very first thing in the morning, during the cold weather. Most people see some enhancements from light therapy within one or two weeks of beginning therapy.

It is also usual to take in alcohol to cope with stress as well as anxiousness, all of which have been heightened by COVID-19. Although alcohol might help to ease unwanted sensations in the minute, alcohol is a depressant and also will consequently what not to say to someone with clinical depression leave you really feeling even worse in the long-lasting. Alcohol likewise adds to poor quality of sleep, which can additionally exacerbate sensations of depression. Do your ideal to get outside when there is natural light to aid sustain all-natural manufacturing of vitamin D3.

The 10 Best And Worst Things You Can Say To Someone With Depression

Things Not To Say To Someone With Depression

Offering advice and support to someone with depression can be very tricky and challenging. Even with the best of intentions, you may end up triggering their anxiety and make them feel more depressed.

This can be especially difficult when you dont fully understand what depression feels like. Hence, it is important that you express your support in the most understanding way possible.

In no particular order, here is a list of the 10 best and worst things you can say to a person with depression, and the reasons why you should and shouldnt say them.

Also Check: How Do I Fight My Depression

Be Grateful For What You Have

Although therapists often encourage people with depression to practice gratitude when they can, this phrase can backfire at times. It can make someone feel extremely guilty.

Anderson says that another way to say this is: Youre so blessed.

She says, Depression is sometimes seen as the result of being ungrateful and not appreciative of what someone has, which can include family, material items, or employment. Unfortunately, these things dont create, nor maintain, permanent happiness. You can be appreciative of your blessings and still feel depressed.

Related: A New Study Finds That Postpartum Depression Can Last YearsSo Lets Take a Look at What It Actually Is

What Not To Say To Someone Who Is Depressed

You are not expected to know the perfect thing to say to a person who is feeling depressed. There is not a specific thing a person needs to hear when they are feeling depressed. There are however, things that a depressed person definitely does not want nor need to hear when they are struggling with a depressed mood. Review the list below to learn what not to say to a person who is depressed:

Also Check: How Can You Know If You Are Depressed

It’s All In Your Head

The scenario:

Some people believe that depression is an imaginary disease and that it’s possible to think yourself into feeling down and depressed. Should you tell your loved one that depression is just a state of mind and if they really wanted to, they could lift their mood with positive thoughts?

There Are People Out There Whow Have It Much Worse

When your best friend has depression

People who having it worse than the depressed person does not mean that they are not entitled to be suffering. A depressed person is not being dramatic or inconsiderate, Their feelings are real and powerful. To hear that people have it worse may imply that the depressed person is hopeless or not worthy of support, care, and the attention they need to feel better.

Also Check: Association Of Anxiety And Depression

People With Depression Are Weak

This is one of the most painful things Ive been told about having depression especially because I wholeheartedly believe it on my bad days. And while its easy to believe this, deep down, I know that Im not weak for having depression.

Heres an important statistic: Depression is one of the most common mental illnesses in the United States and affects more than 15 million adults.

When you say that Im weak for having depression, youre also saying that over 15 million other Americans are weak too. But are they weak? And why? For fighting an invisible battle that often gets worse before it gets better?

Although my struggles with depression make me feel weak at times, I also know that Im a stronger person for going through it. Plus, its helped me find my why through sharing my story and becoming an advocate in the mental health community.

What to say instead: What youre going through isnt easy, but youre so strong. And youre doing the best you can.

How Can I Help Myself If I Am Depressed

Other things that may help include:

  • Spending time with other people and talking with a friend or relative about your feelings
  • Increasing your level of physical activity. Regular exercise can help people with mild to moderate depression and may be one part of a treatment plan for those with severe depression. Talk with your health care professional about what kind of exercise is right for you.
  • Breaking up large tasks into small ones, and tackling what you can as you can. Don’t try to do too many things at once
  • Delaying important decisions until you feel better. Discuss decisions with others who know you well.
  • Keeping stable daily routines. For example, eating and going to bed at the same time every day.
  • Avoiding alcohol

As you continue treatment, gradually you will start to feel better. Remember that if you are taking an antidepressant, it may take several weeks for it to start working. Try to do things that you used to enjoy before you had depression. Go easy on yourself.

You May Like: If I Am A Christian Why Am I Depressed

Don’t Dismiss Their Pain

When you’re talking to a friend who is depressed or going through a difficult time, resist the temptation to compare pain. Remember that pain is not only subjective but relative.

Avoid comments like:

  • “It can’t be that bad.”
  • “It could be worse.”
  • “You think you have it bad”

People with depression also lack the internal resources needed to cope with stress in an effective and healthy way. To you, an event or situation that constitutes a minor annoyance or inconvenience may feel like an insurmountable obstacle to your loved one with depression.

People often worry if they don’t see a clear “reason” for their depression, and not knowing why they are depressed can make matters worse. What someone’s life looks like on the outside doesn’t always reflect, or change, how they feel on the inside.

Depression doesn’t need a justification. The experience is highly personal, and even if you care about someone and want to help, be aware that you can never know for sure how it feels to be them.

Maybe a person’s life could be worse, but depression isn’t about how bad things areit’s about how bad they feel for that person at that moment.

Avoid making comparisons or staging a “competition” for who feels the worst. Doing so isn’t helpful and can make a person with depression feel that you’re minimizing their experience or not really listening to what they’re telling you.

Dont Talk About Bad Days

How to Help a Depressed Person – What To Say (and What NOT to Say)

Why its harmful: Its trueeveryone does have bad days. However, that doesnt mean you need to point it out to someone with depression, who may be struggling on a day-to-day basis. This statement reduces their serious health condition to a bad day and implies that its something theyll get over quickly and easily, Plotnick says. If youre wondering whether you have depression or just everyday sadness, heres how to tell the difference.

What to say instead:Im sorry that youre having a bad day. Id like to help.

You May Like: Major Depressive Disorder Medication List

Can You Witness Acts Of Kindness

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

The best index to a persons character is how he treats people who cant do him any good, and how he treats people who cant fight back.

Abigail Van Buren

S To Deal With Persistent Pain And Depression

If left without treatment, depression can creep into all parts of your life job, college, as well as home rising in strength as well as impacting relationships, health and wellness, and also education. One in 6 people will have depression a minimum of when in their life. The Lifeline supplies 24/7, complimentary and personal assistance for people in distress, avoidance and what not to say to someone with clinical depression dilemma resources for you or your liked ones, and ideal methods for experts. We have actually created this site that concentrates on women suffering depression. We want to involve those women and teens women that are stressed as well as really feel insecure regarding themselves. We are here to inform you that you are not alone which you deserve it.

Turbulent state of mind dysregulation disorder can have a considerable impact on the youngsters ability to function as well as a considerable impact on the household. Chronic, serious what not to say to someone with clinical depression irritability and mood outbursts can disrupt family life, make it tough for the child/youth to make or keep relationships, and also create difficulties at college.

You May Like: Postpartum Depression In Teenage Mothers

Emerging Trends In Substance Misuse:

  • MethamphetamineIn 2019, NSDUH data show that approximately 2 million people used methamphetamine in the past year. Approximately 1 million people had a methamphetamine use disorder, which was higher than the percentage in 2016, but similar to the percentages in 2015 and 2018. The National Institute on Drug Abuse Data shows that overdose death rates involving methamphetamine have quadrupled from 2011 to 2017. Frequent meth use is associated with mood disturbances, hallucinations, and paranoia.
  • CocaineIn 2019, NSDUH data show an estimated 5.5 million people aged 12 or older were past users of cocaine, including about 778,000 users of crack. The CDC reports that overdose deaths involving have increased by one-third from 2016 to 2017. In the short term, cocaine use can result in increased blood pressure, restlessness, and irritability. In the long term, severe medical complications of cocaine use include heart attacks, seizures, and abdominal pain.
  • KratomIn 2019, NSDUH data show that about 825,000 people had used Kratom in the past month. Kratom is a tropical plant that grows naturally in Southeast Asia with leaves that can have psychotropic effects by affecting opioid brain receptors. It is currently unregulated and has risk of abuse and dependence. The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that health effects of Kratom can include nausea, itching, seizures, and hallucinations.


Have You Tried Exercise

Things not to say to someone with depression ...

Much like positive thinking, exercise is not a cure for health problems, but rather, merely an action with positive effects on health. Exercise is helpful in providing some mood boosting chemicals to a person, but only if their brain is already mainly healthy. Someone with depression needs medical treatment, much of which does not involve medication, in order to get healthy enough to have energy to exercise.

In place of suggesting exercise as a cure, sympathize that it must be hard to have a condition that zaps your energy and motivation. Validate that this persons condition has a massive effect on what they can accomplish, and new habits will not be enough to overcome it entirely. You can offer to accompany this person regularly for a quick walk or jog without suggesting that exercise is a cure all for their condition.

Recommended Reading: Medication For Depression And Anxiety And Weight Loss

Remind Them It’s Ok To Feel The Way They Feel

Even if your friend’s problems may seem minor to you, resist the urge to judge or come up with simple solutions. The biochemical imbalances associated with depression are what is driving how bad your friend feels about certain situationsnot necessarily the situations themselves.

Instead, let them know that you are sorry that they are feeling so badly and adopt an attitude of acceptance that this is how their depression is affecting them. If your friend only recently started taking medications or attending counseling, it can take time for them to begin to feel better.

Just as an antibiotic for strep throat takes a while to work, antidepressants can take some time to change chemicals in the brain .

During this time, what your friend needs most is not references to fast, easy solutions, but an awareness that you will be by their side through their treatment.

Depression Is Never An Easy Journey I Suffered From Depression For Around Five Years Three Of Which Were The Worst Years Of My Life During This Time I Felt Misunderstood Broken And More Than Anything I Felt As Though I Was Unloveable

Until you suffer yourself, its impossible to understand why depressed people act the way they do, and often my own battle with depression was met with a complete lack of understanding.

So, whether you have a friend or a loved one suffering from depression, Ive listed the most common things said to someone with depression, and whether theyre the right or wrong thing to say. I understand how hard it can be to watch your loved one suffer, yet when you understand how you should approach them best with your words, it can help you both.

Recommended Reading: Signs Your Daughter Is Depressed

Popular Articles
Related news