Sunday, June 16, 2024

How To Help Gf With Depression

Dont Make Them Promise Not To Do It Again

When Your Girlfriend Is Depressed

You might be tempted to ask them not to do it again most of the time, this wont work, as self-harm is a habit. Placing emotional demands on them like this can make them feel worse, as they might feel that theyre letting you down if they do do it again. Try to remember that this is about them, not you and your relationship.

If your boyfriend/girlfriend self-harms, they need to understand why they are doing it and find their own ways of replacing self-harm. Try not to focus on the self-harm but about whats going on behind it instead. If you get them to make a promise they cant keep it may end up causing feelings of shame and, as a result, more secrets.

Dos: Six Helpful Ways To Support Your Girlfriend

  • Encourage her to seek, and stick with, therapy: This may entail helping her research and find the best counseling in your area. She may want someone to go to therapy with her and offer a supportive presence, or she may need a nudge to continue going to therapy even when she doesnt feel like it.
  • Do your research: The more you know, the more you can help. Take the time to read about depression, understand its symptoms and consider what the experience is like for your girlfriend. Youll learn helpful strategies and gain valuable insight into the struggle shes facing.
  • Find practical ways to help: People battling depression often find they lack the energy or motivation to perform activities even necessary everyday to-dos. Whether its giving a hand with groceries, cooking a meal or giving a quick spruce-up to the home, look for specific, tangible ways to step in and help.
  • Be patient: Depression often takes time to heal or may linger long-term. An exciting activity or helpful counseling appointment wont end her depression overnight it takes time. Extend patience and let her know that youre here to support her journey without pressure for immediate improvement.
  • Take care of yourself: In your well-meaning efforts to care for your girlfriend, dont neglect your own self-care. Take a step back and recharge your own batteries when you need to. Make sure you have outlets to safely express your own emotions and experiences. Pursue your own hobbies, friendships and health.
  • Come Up With An Action Plan

    Depression is not a flat line. You may notice that your partner has some good days and some bad days. It may be helpful to make an action plan for how to respond to particularly trying times, like how youll both rearrange the schedule or communicate with each other.

    You may even want to consider a code word. If your partner has a hard time being vulnerable, a code word can let you know that its time to take those extra measures. Not only that, but it will also remind you to be extra patient with them and yourself.

    You May Like: What Percentage Of Americans Are Depressed

    When My So Has A Rough Day Sometimes It Draws Me From My Cocoon To Try To Make Him Feel Better

    Mature individuals understand that nondepressed folks have bad days sometimes. Bad days are part of being a person.

    Ive been dealing with depression. When my S.O. has a rough day, sometimes it draws me from my cocoon to try to make him feel better. Its pretty easy for me to tell if hes had a rough day, so hiding it would just make the atmosphere uncomfortable and make me feel like he is somehow coddling me. I love him so much, I hate seeing him down, so even if I havent managed to bathe or change my clothes cause I just dont wanna, cant, I will still try to do SOMETHING to make him feel better, and it just might make me feel better along the way.

    Silly little things matter so, so much.

    I think a good way to let your S.O. know youre having a bad day but you are still there for her is something like this: Hey, sweetie/punkin/boo, Ive had a rough day. Knowing youre my girl/coming home to you makes me feel better though. Lets go to bed early. Haha. I sleep more when Im depressed, and my S.O. likes to sleep a lot anyhow.thiskitchenisbitchin

    Is She Depressed Or Just Sad

    How to Help a Boyfriend or Girlfriend with Depression

    We all have blue days, but if you want to help your girlfriend with depression, the first thing you need to do is learn the difference between depression and everyday sadness.

    Whats the difference between the occasional blue mood and depression? While sad feelings may come and go due to personal or professional issues, depression can last months or years. In addition, depression usually includes a loss of interest in activities, uncontrollable crying jags, weight loss or gain, suicidal thoughts and/or trouble concentrating.

    Depression can come in many different forms. It may be situational, caused by recent life events, or it may be kickstarted by chemical changes in the brain. Some types, such as persistent depressive disorder, have a long-lasting and constant presence, while others, like seasonal affective disorder, strike during certain times of the year. . Women are twice as likely to experience depression as men. A 2016 study found that where 9.3% of women have experienced depressive symptoms, only 5.4% of men have been diagnosed with the same.

    The aforementioned symptoms are more than just a residual sadness although long-lasting unhappiness is a common signal. The combination of symptoms often makes it hard to continue everyday life as normal. Regular activities such as showering, studying or going out with friends can become unusually difficult or tiring.

    Recommended Reading: How To Feel Less Depressed And Anxious

    What Do I Do If My Girlfriend Is Pushing Me Away

    Here are some of their suggestions for what to do if your girlfriend is pushing you away:

    • It depends a lot on why she is pushing you away. Remember that it is not about you but rather her anxiety. Keep calm and try to be there when she wants you. Dont force her to do anything she doesnt want to, and dont try to cheer her up with advice or a pep talk.
    • If the reason for pushing you away is that she thinks you will leave her, then reassure her many times that this wont happen. Say it in person, write it on paper, tell her friends, take pictures of you together with her and post it on the internet. If your girlfriend is worried that you might leave her due to something she did, then reassure her that you will be there for her, whatever happens.

    Supporting Your Loved Ones Treatment

    One of the most important things you can do to help a friend or relative with depression is to give your unconditional love and support throughout the treatment process. This involves being compassionate and patient, which is not always easy when dealing with the negativity, hostility, and moodiness that go hand in hand with depression.

    Provide whatever assistance the person needs . Help your loved one make and keep appointments, research treatment options, and stay on schedule with any treatment prescribed.

    Have realistic expectations. It can be frustrating to watch a depressed friend or family member struggle, especially if progress is slow or stalled. Having patience is important. Even with optimal treatment, recovery from depression doesnt happen overnight.

    Lead by example. Encourage the person to lead a healthier, mood-boosting lifestyle by doing it yourself: maintain a positive outlook, eat better, avoid alcohol and drugs, exercise, and lean on others for support.

    Encourage activity. Invite your loved one to join you in uplifting activities, like going to a funny movie or having dinner at a favorite restaurant. Exercise is especially helpful, so try to get your depressed loved one moving. Going on walks together is one of the easiest options. Be gently and lovingly persistentdont get discouraged or stop asking.

    Need to talk to someone?

    Also Check: Motivation To Clean House When Depressed

    How Will I Know If My Boyfriend Or Girlfriend Self

    If something about your partners behaviour feels off and you suspect that they might be self-harming, then dont be afraid to bring it up and ask them. Gently ask them how they are feeling about life and themselves, and bring up what youve noticed, sensitively. Self-harm is a very private issue, so talk to them first about it before telling anyone else.

    Its important that you listen to what they say without judgement, and that you dont try to push them to talk to you about it if they really dont want to. Theyll open up in their own time, and just knowing that youre willing to talk to them about it might help them take the first step.

    How Do I Help My Gf Who Has Depression

    Help Your Girlfriend with Depression

    I started dating this girl a month and a half ago. This girl loves me a lot and when shes happy, shes extremely affectionate and overall a great girlfriend.

    However, she got into a low point and it seems like she lost interest in me. She used to text me all the time, and we were always hanging out.

    After getting into this low point, she didnt text me much anymore, probably 1 conversation a day, or just saying good morning and not talking. I expressed my concerns to her, and she says she loves me uncountable amounts. She tells me not to worry and that she wouldnt leave me. But I dont know what to do

    I have depression and I understand what its like to not have energy for conversation, or social interaction, but I also worry a lot. I still just feel unsettled by her lack of interest. How long do these low points last and do people get over them in relationships? Is there anything I can do thats best for the relationship?

    TL DR: my girlfriend of a month and a half has depression and she says shes not losing interest in me but I still feel like she is. Is there anything I can do thats best for the relationship?

    Read Also: How To Explain To Someone What Depression Is

    Provide Support During Recovery

    While recovery from depression is possible, it can be challenging at times. To support a partner during the recovery process:

    • help them keep track of their appointments and medications
    • do some physical activity together most days
    • plan and prepare healthful meals together
    • try to reduce stressors in the home
    • make goals small and achievable
    • encourage them to socialize with others
    • plan fun activities together
    • point out the persons progress on their journey to recovery
    • avoid forcing treatment on the person

    Let them know that they are not alone by saying things such as:

    • I am here for you.
    • We will deal with this together.

    It may also be helpful to attend a support group for family members of those with a mental health condition. Couples may also benefit from couples therapy or family-based counseling.

    Recognizing Depression Symptoms In A Loved One

    Family and friends are often the first line of defense in the fight against depression. Thats why its important to understand the signs and symptoms of depression. You may notice the problem in a depressed loved one before they do, and your influence and concern can motivate them to seek help.

    Be concerned if your loved one:

    Doesnt seem to care about anything anymore. Has lost interest in work, sex, hobbies, and other pleasurable activities. Has withdrawn from friends, family, and other social activities.

    Expresses a bleak or negative outlook on life. Is uncharacteristically sad, irritable, short-tempered, critical, or moody talks about feeling helpless or hopeless.

    Frequently complains of aches and pains such as headaches, stomach problems, and back pain. Or complains of feeling tired and drained all the time.

    Sleeps less than usual or oversleeps. Has become indecisive, forgetful, disorganized, and out of it.

    Eats more or less than usual, and has recently gained or lost weight.

    Drinks more or abuses drugs, including prescription sleeping pills and painkillers, as a way to self-medicate how theyre feeling.

    Recommended Reading: Symptoms Of Depression And Anxiety In Teens

    Offer To Help With Everyday Tasks

    With depression, day-to-day tasks can feel overwhelming. Things like laundry, grocery shopping, or paying bills can begin to pile up, making it hard to know where to start.

    Your friend may appreciate an offer of help, but they also might not be able to clearly say what they need help with.

    So, instead of saying Let me know if theres anything I can do, consider saying, What do you most need help with today?

    If you notice their refrigerator is empty, say Can I take you grocery shopping, or pick up what you need if you write me a list? or Lets go get some groceries and cook dinner together.

    If your friend is behind on dishes, laundry, or other household chores, offer to come over, put some music on, and tackle a specific task together. Simply having company can make the work seem less daunting.

    Warning Signs Of Suicide

    What to Say to a Depressed Boyfriend, Girlfriend

    People with depression may be at risk of suicide. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, more than half of those who die by suicide have major depression.

    Partners of those with depression should be aware of the warning signs of suicide so that they can take swift action if necessary. Warning signs include:

    • talking about death or suicide
    • having a suicide plan

    You May Like: Green And White Capsule For Depression

    Signs That Depression Is Eroding Your Relationship

    If youre depressed, you could be dragging your mate to the dumps with you. Here are 5 common symptoms that wreck relationships and expert advice on how to get love back on trackWhen youre in a relationship and feeling depressed,two people suffer. Karen S., a business executive in her late 20s, had been with her boyfriend eight months when she fell into a funk.She no longer enjoyed her favorite activities, preferring to spend weekends sleeping in and watching TV. Her boyfriend missed the fun-loving, outgoing woman hed fallen for. Their sex life was nonexistent. He thought she wasnt interested in him anymore.A few months later, Karen’s doctor diagnosed her with depression. She eventually got the help she needed, but it was too late – the relationship didnt survive.That doesnt surprise Miami marriage and family therapist Lisa Paz, Ph.D.Depression makes the non-depressed partner feel helpless and confused, she says. silence, withdrawal, and no sex or desire to do anything, partners think this is the turn the relationship is taking that this is the way its always going to be.

    Check out Health Bistro for more healthy food for thought. See what Lifescript editors are talking about and get the skinny on latest news. Share it with your friends , and bookmark it so you dont miss a single juicy post!

    Talk to us on and !

    Be Mindful Of The Difference Between Genuinely Helping Your Depressed Girlfriend And Codependency

    One problem with being in relationship with a depressed person is the tendency for the needy to mate with someone who needs to be needed.

    Only you know if your relationship was once healthy and then she began a serious depressive episode or if your depressed girlfriend has attached to you since youre already kinda into saving people.

    If shes struggling with getting dressed or simply leaving the house, going to therapy or scheduling medical appointments could pose a real challenge.

    Genuinely helping her make it to wellness appointments is a time when Id suggest gently helping her if at all possible.

    Helping a depressed person with things around the house is a very kind and thoughtful thing to do but it can also be a REALLY slippery slope that leads to a situation that is worse for both people, so if you decide to give, examine your real motives first.

    Helping out once in a while is usually extremely appreciated.

    Nominating yourself King of Environmental Management while shes going through hard times is a very bad choice for both of you.

    Also Check: Books About The Great Depression

    How To Talk To Someone About Depression

    Sometimes it is hard to know what to say when speaking to someone about depression. You might fear that if you bring up your worries the person will get angry, feel insulted, or ignore your concerns. You may be unsure what questions to ask or how to be supportive.

    If you dont know where to start, the following suggestions may help. But remember that being a compassionate listener is much more important than giving advice. You dont have to try to fix your friend or family member you just have to be a good listener. Often, the simple act of talking face to face can be an enormous help to someone suffering from depression. Encourage the depressed person to talk about their feelings, and be willing to listen without judgment.

    Dont expect a single conversation to be the end of it. Depressed people tend to withdraw from others and isolate themselves. You may need to express your concern and willingness to listen over and over again. Be gentle, yet persistent.

    Encouraging Someone Who Self

    When Your Girlfriend Has Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar

    Its a positive step if theyve managed to open up to you, but talking to a trained counsellor or health professional would be even better. You should:

    • Encourage them to seek specialist help and offer to go with them if theyre worried about doing it alone.
    • Dont push or threaten your partner with ending the relationship if they say no to further help try and go at their pace.
    • Offer to tell someone for them or to find out more information the only real way to recovery is for them to recognise there are other ways to deal with how they feel inside.
    • Dont ignore what theyve told you. It might be uncomfortable for you to deal with, but its a guarantee that its even harder for them. You have to acknowledge the conversation rather than pretend it never happened.
    • Be there emotionally for them as much as you can, but remember you have to be there for yourself too. Its okay to need time to get your head around it.

    You May Like: Postpartum Depression In Teenage Mothers

    Popular Articles
    Related news