Your Teen Daughters Depression
Wondering if your teen daughter is struggling with depression?
Teenage depression and suicidal thoughts are very serious. As a parent, you want to know how to recognize the symptoms and how to help.
In this Parents Guide licensed professional counselor September Trent will help you identify the symptoms of depression and give you practical direction on what to do. READ ON
In This Article
About the Author
This article is based on scientific evidence and clinical experience, written by a licensed professional and fact-checked by experts.
is a licensed professional counselor specializing in eating disorders, self-harm, anxiety, and depression treatment. You can schedule an appointment with September for online counseling or in-person at our Springfield, Missouri counseling center.
Look For The Positive And Praise Your Teen Generously
If your teen is depressed, they will welcome praise when its offered. Depression often comes with feeling guilty, ashamed, sad, lonely, anxious, and confused. When you give your teen praise, you highlight a detail in their life and you help them shine a bit more. You also let your teen know that youre noticing, that you care, and that you love them. Teens who are depressed need you to highlight the positive because they are so frequently focused on the negative.
What Causes Depression In Children
As in adults, depression in children can be caused by any combination of things that relate to physical health, life events, family history, environment, genetic vulnerability, and biochemical disturbance. Depression is not a passing mood, nor is it a condition that will go away without proper treatment.
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Causes Connections And What Parents Can Do To Help
Teen depression is on the rise, and a parents best strategy to help a child is to promote the development of key skills.
One of the most important aspects of healing and recovering, be it from an injury, depression or a broken heart, is the belief that change is possible. Researchers call this positive expectancy, and when we look at the success of therapy, it figures prominently.
In order to do the hard work of changing or healing, we have to believe that change is actually an option. Recently Ive been bumping into more and more information about depression and anxiety disorders that is saying the exact opposite of this.
In an effort to promote mental health awareness and prompt children, teens and adults to seek help for mental health issues, the messages that depression and anxiety disorders are diseases of the brain that just happen and more disturbinglyare how you are wired or are like diabetes and heart disease have been showing up again and again. Drug ads are major offenders, but not the only ones.
How Parents Can Help Their Children Overcome Anxiety And Depression
Our kids need to know they are loved, worthy, valued and created on purpose for a purpose. Their difficulty in overcoming anxiety or depression does not define them.
The change in my daughters voice was a jolt to my heart. Previously marked by joy and excitement, her voice was now void of emotion. She was struggling with more than sadness she was experiencing full blown depression. Something needed to be done. I wondered, How I can I help her overcome anxiety and depression?
Maybe, like me, you have experienced a similar emotional shift in your kids. They may have moved from worry, stress, or fear to anxiety or gone from grief to depression. Perhaps your kids friends are going through mental health struggles too.
Unfortunately, anxiety and depression affect an ever growing population of kids and families today. When we understand how to best approach our kids and their swirling emotions, we will be more effective in helping them overcome anxiety or depression.
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Talking To Someone About Depression
It may seem like theres no way your parents will be able to help, especially if they are always nagging you or getting angry about your behavior. The truth is, parents hate to see their kids hurting. They may feel frustrated because they dont understand what is going on with you or know how to help.
- If your parents are abusive in any way, or if they have problems of their own that makes it difficult for them to take care of you, find another adult you trust . This person can either help you approach your parents, or direct you toward the support you need.
- If you truly dont have anyone you can talk to, there are many hotlines, services, and support groups that can help.
- No matter what, talk to someone, especially if you are having any thoughts of harming yourself or others. Asking for help is the bravest thing you can do, and the first step on your way to feeling better.
Learn About Therapy Options
Different kinds of therapies can help kids and teens with depression:
- Cognitive behavioral therapy helps kids recognize and change their negative beliefs or behaviors. This short-term therapy tends to involve 5 to 20 sessions.
- Interpersonal therapy focuses on relationships with other people. The goal is to help kids address problems so they can have healthier relationships.
- Family therapy can be a helpful starting point for kids who say things like, Im not depressedI just hate my family. This type of therapy can help family members improve communication and resolve conflicts.
Its very important to find a therapist your child likes and trusts. Also, keep in mind that some therapists use a combination of techniques such as a mix of CBT and IPT.
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Why Am I Depressed
Despite what you may have been told, depression is not simply caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain that can be cured with medication. Rather, depression is caused by a combination of biological, psychological, and social factors. Since the teenage years can be a time of great turmoil and uncertainty, youre likely facing a host of pressures that could contribute to your depression symptoms. These can range from hormonal changes to problems at home or school or questions about who you are and where you fit in.
As a teen, youre more likely to suffer from depression if you have a family history of depression or have experienced early childhood trauma, such as the loss of a parent or physical or emotional abuse.
What Causes Depression In Children And Teenagers
Usually, there is no one single cause of depression in children and teenagers. Sometimes depression appears out of the blue, while at other times something seems to trigger it. Often it is a combination of factors. Your child or teenager is more likely to experience depression if they:
- experience a stressful event such as the break-up of parents, loss of a loved one or relationship break-up
- have someone in the family who has depression, such as a parent or sibling
- have experienced trauma, such as a significant injury or accident, or abuse
- are going through major life changes, such as starting a new school or going to university
- have significant physical illnesses
- have a poor daily routine or are not involved in education, training or work
- have been bullied or had other problems with peers
- are LGBTI or feel different in some other way
- use alcohol or recreational drugs.
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Signs Of Depression In Children
Symptoms of depression in children often include:
- sadness, or a low mood that does not go away
- being irritable or grumpy all the time
- not being interested in things they used to enjoy
- feeling tired and exhausted a lot of the time
Your child may also:
- have trouble sleeping or sleep more than usual
- not be able to concentrate
- interact less with friends and family
- be indecisive
- eat less than usual or overeat
- have big changes in weight
- seem unable to relax or be more lethargic than usual
- talk about feeling guilty or worthless
- feel empty or unable to feel emotions
- have thoughts about suicide or self-harming
- actually self-harm, for example, cutting their skin or taking an overdose
Some children have problems with anxiety as well as depression. Some also have physical symptoms, such as headaches and stomach aches.
Problems at school can be a sign of depression in children and young people and so can problem behaviour.
Older children who are depressed may misuse drugs or alcohol.
Tip : Support Your Teen Through Depression Treatment
As your depressed teenager goes through treatment, the most important thing you can do is to let them know that youre there to listen and offer support. Now more than ever, your teenager needs to know that theyre valued, accepted, and cared for.
Be understanding.Living with a depressed teenager can be difficult and draining. At times, you may experience exhaustion, rejection, despair, aggravation, or any other number of negative emotions. During this trying time, its important to remember that your child is not being difficult on purpose. Your teen is suffering, so do your best to be patient and understanding.
Stay involved in treatment. Make sure your teenager is following all treatment instructions, whether its attending therapy or correctly taking any prescribed medication. Track changes in your teens condition, and call the doctor if depression symptoms seem to be getting worse.
Be patient. The road to your depressed teenagers recovery may be bumpy, so be patient. Rejoice in small victories and prepare for the occasional setback. Most importantly, dont judge yourself or compare your family to others. As long as youre doing your best to get your teen the necessary help, youre doing your job.
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The Effects On Children
For parents with depression, there are the obvious detrimental symptomsemotional pain, lack of motivation, loss of joy in once-joyful activitiesand even physical troubles such as gastrointestinal distress and reduced immunity. But research has found that children of depressed parents are about three times as likely to suffer from major depression, anxiety disorders, or substance abuse as children whose parents hadn’t been depressed.
All kids have developmental needs that include feeling securely attached to a safe, caring adult and having a caregiver who is both physically and emotionally present and can model adequate coping mechanisms, says LaToya Gaines, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist and former school psychologist in New York City. Untreated mental-health concerns can threaten a parent’s ability to fulfill these needs. “When we’re depressed, we have difficulty connecting,” says Kristen Granchalek, LCSW, a Chicago-based therapist specializing in women’s issues, anxiety, and emotional reactivity. “Our faces don’t respond in a way that mirrors our children’s emotions, which they need for healthy development and to feel cared for.” With anxiety, kids can absorb their parent’s chronic worrying and, says Granchalek, “internalize the belief that the world is not okay.”
The Importance Of Accepting And Sharing Your Feelings
It can be hard to open up about how youre feelingespecially when youre feeling depressed, ashamed, or worthless. Its important to remember that many people struggle with feelings like these at one time or anotherit doesnt mean that youre weak, fundamentally flawed, or no good. Accepting your feelings and opening up about them with someone you trust will help you feel less alone.
Even though it may not feel like it at the moment, people do love and care about you. If you can muster the courage to talk about your depression, it canand willbe resolved. Some people think that talking about sad feelings will make them worse, but the opposite is almost always true. It is very helpful to share your worries with someone who will listen and care about what you say. They dont need to be able to fix you they just need to be good listeners.
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Some Common Causes Of Low Motivation Among Teens Are:
FEAR OF FAILURE: Teens may develop such a fear of failure that they are unwilling to try in the first place. These teens may fear that the harder they try, the more crushing a failure would because failing at something you try hard to do may reflect a basic incompetence. This fear afflicts several kinds of teens. Some bear the weight of intense external pressure to performeither from parents, peers, teachers or the success of an older sibling. Others may have experienced failure in a way that led to shame and pain. Dr. Carol Dweck, a Stanford University researcher, has noticed that students who are inordinately praised from a young age for their intrinsic abilities or intelligence rather than for their hard work can become avoidant too. They come to feel that any failure is a threat to their image as intelligent or capable.
LACK OF INTRINSIC MOTIVATORS: Some children find external praise and reward almost addictiveespecially when coupled with a very high degree of external structure and adult direction. But with the dawn of adolescence, many of these young people fail to make the necessary developmental shift from extrinsic to intrinsic motivation. They have spend so much energy pursuing what makes others happy that they find it difficult to know and pursue what makes them happya critical component of successful individuation.
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My Teenage Daughter Has Anxiety: This Is How It Looks And Feels
Teen angst. A great phrase onomatopoeia.
But as much as I like how it sounds, I hate the reality. With all those raging hormones, every teenager is bound to lose it at one time or another.
But add anxiety to that mix,and its a whole different beast. Sometimes it manifests in a meltdown of epic proportions, sometimes its silent, hidden demons. But those who suffer learn to put a smile on their face, to grin and bear it.
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What Are The Treatment Options
Treatment options for children with depression are similar to those for adults, including psychotherapy and medication. Your child’s doctor may suggest psychotherapy first and consider antidepressant medicine as an option if there is no significant improvement. The best studies to date show that a combination of psychotherapy and medication is most effective at treating depression.
But studies do show that the antidepressant fluoxetine is effective in treating depression in children and teens. The drug is officially recognized by the FDA for treatment of children ages 8 to 18 with depression.
Most medications used to treat depression in children have a black box warning about the possibility of increasing suicidal thoughts. It is important to start and monitor these medications under the care of a trained professional and talk with them about the potential risks and benefits for your child.
Treating children who have bipolar disorder
Children with bipolar disorder are usually treated with psychotherapy and a combination of medicines, usually an antidepressant and a mood stabilizer.
Antidepressants need to be used with caution, as they can trigger bouts of manic or hyperactive behavior in children with bipolar disorder. Managing a child’s medication must be part of an overall care plan that includes therapy and routine primary care appointments.
Develop An Atmosphere Of Openness
An atmosphere of openness involves encouraging conversations between yourself and your children. Through your verbal and body language, communicate that what your children say and think matters to you. Your teens thoughts and emotions are like an extension of her. While some of what your child shares may be strange and is likely to contain things you dont agree with, remember: How you interact with the thoughts and emotions your teen is trusting you with will determine if your child feels heard and therefore, will continue to share things with you and think of you as an advocate rather than an adversary.
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Signs And Symptoms Of Teen Depression
It can be hard to put into words exactly how depression feelsand we dont all experience it the same way. For some teens, depression is characterized by feelings of bleakness and despair. For others, its a persistent anger or agitation, or simply an overwhelming sense of emptiness. However depression affects you, though, there are some common symptoms that you may experience:
- You constantly feel irritable, sad, or angry.
- Nothing seems fun anymoreeven the activities you used to loveand you just dont see the point of forcing yourself to do them.
- You feel bad about yourselfworthless, guilty, or just wrong in some way.
- You sleep too much or not enough.
- Youve turned to alcohol or drugs to try to change the way you feel.
- You have frequent, unexplained headaches or other physical pains or problems.
- Anything and everything makes you cry.
- Youre extremely sensitive to criticism.
- Youve gained or lost weight without consciously trying to.
- Youre having trouble concentrating, thinking straight, or remembering things. Your grades may be plummeting because of it.
- You feel helpless and hopeless.
- Youre thinking about death or suicide.
How Is Childhood Depression Different From The Blues
Childhood depression is different from the everyday “blues” that most kids get as they develop. The fact that a child feels sad, lonely, or irritable does not mean they have childhood depression.
Childhood depression is persistent sadness. When it occurs, the child feels alone, hopeless, helpless, and worthless. When this type of sadness is unending, it disrupts every part of the child’s life. It interferes with the child’s daily activities, schoolwork, and peer relationships. It can also affect the life of each family member.
Childhood depression can be assessed, diagnosed, and effectively treated with medications and/or psychotherapy. Left untreated, childhood depression is a serious depressive disorder that can lead to suicide.
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Moms Raising Sons To Be Men
Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a womans life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.