Stand Up To Your Inner Critic
As discussed in the section on emotionally focused therapy, being able to stand up to your inner critic will help to alleviate your depression and possibly also reduce your anger. This requires you to acknowledge your anger and emotions, rather than avoiding your feelings.
This is best done with the help of a therapist however, you can also engage in this process by writing about your feelings in a journal, identifying your critical inner voice, writing responses to your critical inner voice
Alleviate Anger Before It Worsens
Do you find that your anger gets out of control because you keep it bottled inside? If so, you may benefit from learning healthy ways to express your anger before it gets out of control. This might includes ideas such as learning to be more assertive or learning to express your emotions. Both of these activities will help to reduce the chance that your anger builds to the point that you must explode.
Dealing With Anger And Depression
Lifestyle changes can also help in lessening or eliminating symptoms of anger and depression. Consider reflecting on your daily routine. Do you take adequate time to care for your physical and emotional well-being? Are you getting enough sleep and exercising regularly? If not, focusing on optimizing your routine may be the first step.
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This Specific Stereotype Delayed How I Understood Depression By A Decade
Anxiety is more than nervous energy, shyness, or fear. Bipolar disorder is not a super power of villainous and heroic intent. Depression isnât just blues and sadness.
Translating mental health into simple concepts may help the majority understand, but if a few stereotypical symptoms become the only thing that people hear about, I only see it doing more harm than good.
Following only one narrative â even if it brings awareness â can derail the way people get treatment or understand their own conditions.
Funny enough, I didnât learn about the connection between anger and depression until two years into health editing.
During a long two-month episode, I stumbled across an article about it at work and felt all the gears click. Almost every day, I found myself Googling those two words, looking for new insights, but anger and depression is still rarely a combination I see written about.
From what Iâve researched, the general consensus seems that anger is an overlooked aspect of depression . Research shows that treatment for anger is often left out in pharmacological and therapeutic management. Studies have found that whatâs a coping strategy for anger in teenagers could actually be associated with depression.
Just Observe The Energy With Total Awareness
Dont be tempted to instantly reject this simple, yet deeply-transformative technique without trying it for yourself.
Because, if you look, youll see that what were doing in this highly-transformative technique, is were taking all that energy thats typically wasted on judging, condemning or suppressing anger and were turning it all inwards and focusing it solely on the energy of anger itself.
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Respect Your Own Needs
If your spouse has depression, you still deserve everyday nicetiesa neat house, regular meals, a calm family environmentas well as friendships, a social life, and time to pursue meaningful interests, Walfish says. As much as possible, pursue these things. Its easy to spend your time dealing with your spouses needs and issues. But dont sacrifice your own joys and goals needlessly. As we noted, you are susceptible to depression too. Pursuing your personal pleasures will not only help prevent that but also better prepare you for aiding your spouse.
Recognizing And Addressing Depression Presenting As Anger
As one of the more common mental illnesses in America, depression is most recognizable in the forms of sadness or apathy. However, depression doesnt look the same for everyone who experiences it. In many instances, symptoms of depression, such as feelings of unworthiness and helplessness, can translate into anger. This can be particularly difficult for people with depression to navigate, especially if feeling angry is uncharacteristic of their typical behavior.
Battling depression on a daily basis is lonely and exhausting to manage. Learning how to identify anger in depression in a healthy way can alleviate part of the struggle.
In this Article:
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Talk To A Mental Health Professional
If your childs irritability and anger are a pattern thats going on every day, for more than a couple of weeks, and outside the home as well as with the family, its a good idea to consult a mental health professional. Especially when its caught early, depression is very treatable. Treatment for depression includes both medication and specialized forms of cognitive behavioral therapy that focus on helping kids learn to cope with difficult emotions.
How To Deal With Depression And Anger At The Same Time
By Mitzi Bockmann Written on Feb 07, 2018
You are depressed and angry, and you are scared.
Scared because you dont know why you are feeling this way. Scared because these are feelings that you cant seem to control. Scared because you dont know if the feelings will ever go away.
Depression and anger are scary things to manage but there are ways to get through it.
Here are what I believe to be the 3 most important things to do first to deal with the depression and the anger:
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When To Seek Help
Everyone experiences depression differently, and your symptoms are unique to you.
If you find that your sadness has lingered for more than 2 weeks and it has started to interfere with your ability to concentrate or go about your daily activities, it may be time to consider seeking professional help.
If youre reluctant to reach out to a mental health professional, its OK. Try talking with family and friends who you trust. They may be able to refer you to someone.
You can also try talking with a healthcare professional. They can evaluate you and make sure there arent any underlying medical conditions causing your symptoms. They can also refer you to a mental health professional for further evaluation and treatment if needed.
Our depression test can also be a good place to start. While this test is not in any way a diagnosis tool, it can be used to track your moods and may be used to show your doctor how your symptoms have changed over time.
And Thats A Major Key In Dissolving The Anger From Your Life And Stopping It From Driving You Into Depression
Understanding that anger is simply an emotional energy that passes through you, from time to time.
Theres nothing wrong with you. You are notmental. You are not an angry person, yes, you may have anger to process right now but thats not who you are as a person. Its not your identity!
Once you accept that anger is atemporary emotion that we all experience, youll begin to lose the fear, judgement or animosity that usually surrounds anger.
As a result, instead of wanting to avoid or suppress anger, you can begin to fearlessly approach anger, rapidly transform it and finally put a stop to it driving you into depression.
Now, there are many proven processes to tackle anger and frustration from the roots but today, Im going to share one of my personal favourites when it comes to dealing with anger in depression.
Here it is.
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What If They Don’t Recognise They Have A Problem
You might find that the person you are supporting doesn’t recognise they have a problem and/or refuses to seek help.
It’s understandable to feel frustrated, distressed and powerless as a result of this. But it’s important to accept that they are an individual, and that there are always limits to what you can do to support another person.
Why Depressed People Become So Angry
Research shows that anger is related to depression because of serotonergic dysfunction. This dysfunction means that the neurochemicals in the brain and imbalanced. Without balance, it causes irritability, depression, and anger.
Sometimes this anger is turned inward, making the person have a negative inner voice. It makes it hard for the person to move past shame, and it causes low self-worth. When anger turns inward, it makes a person even more depressed, worsening all other symptoms.
Other times, the anger turns outward and projects onto others. It causes the depressed person to lash out at those around them for minor things. The person usually feels guilty after the fact but cant control their reactions at the moment.
When a depressed person cant deal with stress in the workplace, it could lead to issues with coworkers and managers. It also affects personal relationships as many people dont know how to handle it.
While its hard to pinpoint why some people experience anger and others dont, experts have narrowed down some ideas. Some of the causes of rage during depression include:
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Control Anger Before It Controls You
We all know what is, and we’ve all felt it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage. Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problemsproblems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life.
Anger can make you feel as though you’re at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.
Some Other Tips For Easing Up On Yourself
Timing: If you and your spouse tend to fight when you discuss things at nightperhaps you’re tired, or distracted, or maybe it’s just habittry changing the times when you talk about important matters so these talks don’t turn into arguments.
Avoidance: If your child’s chaotic room makes you furious every time you walk by it, shut the door. Don’t make yourself look at what infuriates you. Don’t say, “well, my child should clean up the room so I won’t have to be angry!” That’s not the point. The point is to keep yourself calm.
Finding alternatives: If your daily commute through traffic leaves you in a state of rage and frustration, give yourself a projectlearn or map out a different route, one that’s less congested or more scenic. Or find another alternative, such as a bus or commuter train.
Read Also: Need A Therapist For Depression
How To Get Rid Of Anger In Depression
Anytime you feel anger rise within you, experience the anger as if its the first time youre experiencing it. Dont judge or condemn it. Dont label it asanger. Simply, turn inward, close your eyes and become an inquisitive explorer. Explore how this energy moves through your body. Really experience the energy.
Remember, if this was the very first time you were experiencing this energy, you wouldnt be aware that its typically calledanger, so dont label it as that.
Leave it as an unknown and just be aware. Shift all your attention inwards and be totally absorbed in the energy.
See Depression As An Intruder In Your Marriage
Like any other illness, depression is an outside forcean unwelcome visitor wreaking havoc with your spouses health, your marriage, and your home life. Seeing it this way can allow both of you to talk about its effects without blame or shame. Once we started talking about it as a third partyas the depressionwe could express our frustrations constructively, Scott-Lowe says. If Dennis was really doubting his worth, I could say, Thats just the depression talking. Its not you. When youre not depressed, you dont think this way. Its feeding you lies.’
This shift in thinking can clear the air. It was a relief for me, Lowe says. I felt Emily was walking on eggshells sometimes, not wanting to tell me how she was feeling. Depression was the elephant in the room that no one wanted to talk about, and I felt even guiltier. Seeing it as the intruder was an accurate perspective. It helped me see why I felt the way I did and let me accept reassurance because it acknowledges whats going on instead of denying it.
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Admit That You Cannot Cure Your Partners Depression
Your spouse needs your love, support, and concern, but these important qualities cant reverse depression any more than they can control blood sugar, ease arthritis pain, or clear out clogged arteries. Just as you wouldnt rely on love alone to cure a medical conditionor withdraw love because it didntdont expect that your feelings or attention will be able to alter your spouses off-kilter brain chemistry. Use your love to get help and to remind your partner of his or her intrinsic worth during this challenging time, Walfish advises.
Depression Makes Us Different
When depression is at its peak, we may not be participating in the things we normally love to do. Lack of sleep, irritability, and general feelings of disinterest can rob us of the joy that activities usually bring us.
Things that used to be exciting and fun such as going on dates with your partner, hanging out with your friends, or going out to dinner may have a grey, rainy cloud over them. It can be challenging to do even the most simple of tasks, such as grocery shopping, when depression has us in its grasp.
This works to aggravate our anger in a couple of ways. First, it can start to get very aggravating to continue to have to decline when you are invited out, and you may begin to grow a sense of disappointment or even hatred toward yourself because of it. This can cause you to be feel chaotic inside, which will more than likely lead to an outburst as these feelings cannot be held inside forever.
Secondly, if you let this go on too long, you may look back and see how much you missed while you were buried in your depression. This can make your current problem even worse, especially if significant milestones such as a child’s graduation or birthday, or a family member’s wedding are missed. This can lead to extreme animosity toward your condition and yourself.
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How To Talk To Someone About Depression
Sometimes it is hard to know what to say when speaking to someone about depression. You might fear that if you bring up your worries the person will get angry, feel insulted, or ignore your concerns. You may be unsure what questions to ask or how to be supportive.
If you dont know where to start, the following suggestions may help. But remember that being a compassionate listener is much more important than giving advice. You dont have to try to fix your friend or family member you just have to be a good listener. Often, the simple act of talking face to face can be an enormous help to someone suffering from depression. Encourage the depressed person to talk about their feelings, and be willing to listen without judgment.
Dont expect a single conversation to be the end of it. Depressed people tend to withdraw from others and isolate themselves. You may need to express your concern and willingness to listen over and over again. Be gentle, yet persistent.
Every Person Will Fail You
Everybody in your life will fail you to some degree.
- Your parents
- Your friends
- Your pastor
And let me quickly add, you will also fail them. But you know the most humbling reality? You will fail yourself.
In this imperfect world, no person or circumstance can possibly produce the exact ingredients for your emotional stability and happiness.
It must come from elsewhere.
Also Check: Medicine Used For Depression And Anxiety
Be As Honest As You Can About What You Need
How you communicate your feelings to someone will largely depend on the relationship you have with them. Depression can affect your relationships, and depending on your comfort level, you might just tell someone that your mood is low and ask them not to take it personally if you do appear irritable. If you live with a partner, family member, or close friend, maybe you feel more comfortable asking them to help you with managing your irritability, like by giving you space or by helping you stay more active, Dr. Miklowitz says. Or you might set boundaries so you engage only in specific activities or conversations that arent frustrating for you. And while you want to do whats best for you right now, its important to be as thoughtful as possible in your approach. You want to try to be as sensitive as you can to other peoples feelings and not alienate them, Dr. Borrelli says. In the future you will likely feel grateful for maintaining relationships with the people who supported you when you needed it.
It Took Me Six Years To Realize My Anger Was Depression
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Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD
Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD
Combined with anger, my depression found ways to convince me I was naturally a bad person.
Feeling blue doesnât ever stop for me.
Itâs a kind of constant thatâs glue to my bones and has stayed around long enough that I know how to manage it when depression makes my body and mind too stiff to care.
The downside of âmanaging itâ is that I usually donât know Iâm deep in a depressive episode until my dark thoughts start to surface and repeat like a mantra. If Iâm lucky, Iâll have some clues â like lack of interest in being with friends â but every now and then depression hits fast, like being thrown face-forward into a brick wall.
Like menstruation, my depression comes in fairly predictable cycles. The general gist is like this: About every two months, my brain entertains the worst of my self-esteem and existence for about one to two weeks, usually closer to one. The length really depends on when I recognize itâs happening.
But for the longest time, I was pretty convinced that if I wasnât feeling utterly sad or hopeless, then it wasnât an episode.
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