Write Down The Good Stuff
It can help to write down the good things that happen to you. It can be things youve enjoyed doing, nice things people have said to you. It doesnt have to be a major achievement even the tiniest positive thing is a poke in the eye for depression, and proof that good things do still happen, even when depression is telling you otherwise. Try to read your notes regularly, to remind yourself that actually youre doing pretty well. Oh, and treat yourself to a nice notebook. It wont make you more confident you just deserve a treat.
Access Where You Are And Where You Want To Be
Start by asking yourself, right now, where would you score your level of self-confidence out of 10? Its important to be compassionate, and not to judge your answers. Next, imagine what higher levels of self-confidence look like for you. What would greater levels of self-confidence allow you to do? Write down some examples of behaviours, habits, and feelings that your most confident self would have. Feel excited knowing more self-confidence is not only possible, but you deserve it.
Social Media And Low Self
Whether you love it, loathe it or simply accept it, social media is part of life, especially for teens.
Social media issues are often complex and there are typically no âright answersâ to drawn on. Having said that, there is a growing body of research from which can be gleaned some principles for wise usage.
While social media is sometimes touted to combat loneliness, a significant body of research suggests it may have the opposite effect. By triggering comparison with others, it can raise doubts about self-worth, potentially leading to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. In this article, I will explore some of these troubling issues through a balanced lens.
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Evaluate What You Are Afraid Of
For years, I have lived under an unspoken rule. It went something like this. Be nice or something bad will happen to you.
Others may do things to ensure people like them, wont abandon them or generally fear a loss of love from others.
Its amazing what we will do in order to feel loved by others.
I was about 10 or 11 when I faced up to a bully on the soccer field. I finally mustered the courage to fight back and tell him I wouldnt be treated the way he was treating me.
I can still remember the smirk on his face to say go ahead and try, punk.
With all my might I pushed him. Problem was, he was about a head taller than me. My pushing him, caused me to step back.
When I stepped back, there was a hole the size of large pizza about 10 deep.
I lost my footing and fell flat on my back.
I had similar experiences to this growing up when I was confronted. I had an unconscious record that played. If you stand up for yourself, if you dont go with the flow and be nice, something bad will happen to you.
But over thirty years later, my life was still being run by that embarrassed 10 year-old.
The funny part is that its not true, but I have lived most of my life as if were gospel.
What are you afraid of? What do you secretly hope no one finds out about you?
Come to grips with these internal drivers so you can do something about it.
Write A Thank You Note
To your former boss! As you come to terms with the devastating loss, hopefully, youll begin to see things more clearly. Maybe youll even conclude that your manager made the right decision for the company, and if not that exactly, then a decision that in the long run will prove good for you and your career path.
Even if it takes swallowing some pride, send a note to your former supervisor, thanking her for the opportunity to work in the organization and offering your assistance should she ever need help in the future. You never know where she or you will end up, and its entirely possible that your professional paths will cross again. And at the end of the day, a simple note of gratitude will get you a lot further than burning bridges. Dear ,
I want to thank you for the experience and opportunities I was given while I worked with you at . I learned so much in that role, and I know my experience will serve me well as I make the next move in my career.
If I can support you in any way as you go forward, I do hope youll let me know. In the meantime, I wish you well in the future and much success.
Warmly, Getting fired is a disruptive life event. But, it can also open doors and lead to great and unexpected opportunities. If youre tempted to feel like a victim, challenge yourself to rise above it. Instead of asking why this happened, focus instead on how you can bounce back and what actions you need to take to do so.
What We Recommend For Depression
If you are suffering from depression then ongoing professional counselling may be your ideal first point of call. Counselling will utilize theories such as Cognitive behavioural therapy which will help you live a more fulfilling life.
Clukey, K. . How to Regain Confidence After Depression 17 Point Guide. Confidence Reboot. Retrieved from .
NHS. . Raising low self-esteem. Retrieved from .
Urban, L. . How to Restore Confidence After Depression. wikiHow. Retrieved from .
Young, K. . Life After Depression: How to Thrive What Helps. What Gets in the Way. Hey Sigmund. Retrieved from .
Hustle: The Power To Charge Your Life With Money Meaning And Momentum By Neil Patel
Hustle offers a game-changing guide to finding success by encouraging us to outsmart the system. Too many of us feel like were fighting a system thats stacked against us and forcing us to live unfulfilling lives. This book will encourage you to break free from the rat-race and begin achieving more success on your terms through projects you actually enjoy!
This book will help you redefine what hustling means and will help you realize your best path to success is through taking charge of your dreams, creating your own luck, and staying true to yourself.
If youre looking for actionable and practical advice that goes beyond simply motivating you, this is a book you will certainly enjoy reading.
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See Progress Not Perfection
Each day, write down two things youre proud of doing, and one thing you can improve on. This keeps you focused on what youve done, rather than what you havent.
It gives you motivation to continue working, even when progress seems painfully slow, or even negligible.
If you go looking for perfection, you will never find it.
Search for progress instead.
How To Cope With Depression
Fight back against your depression with these self-help strategies that will aid your recovery.
For many people, dealing with depression is a daily reality. Affecting all aspects of your professional, social and personal life, depression can have a debilitating impact on how you function on a day-to-day basis.
Thankfully, there are some proven things you can do to overcome the symptoms of depression and continue to live a healthy, productive life. With that in mind, we have outlined some of the most effective self-help tips, strategies and mechanisms for coping with depression.
How Do I Stay Confident Once I Regain My Self Confidence
Since you begin losing self confidence the moment you start doubting yourself and your capabilities, once you feel confident again, dont doubt yourself or your capabilities any more.
This is how to stop losing self confidence in the future.
If you currently struggle with self doubt, its no big deal. Youll learn how to overcome and eliminate self doubt soon enough, so that you dont struggle with it anymore.
For now, however, the main point is this: being free of self doubt is the key to not losing confidence in yourself again.
The Returning To Our Previous Life Myth
Another myth is recovery means returning to the life we had before becoming unwell, exactly as it was. Although this might be possible for some people, its usually an unrealistic goal.
Depression is rough. It puts us through some really awful times, and sends our mind to places its never been before. It also teaches us things and can alter our perspective. We might have changed. Parts of our life could have changed. We might have to get used to managing or adapting certain areas of our life to stay well.
Were not the only ones affected, either. Our depression often affects everyone around us, too. People may have seen us in ways that we hoped they never would.
None of this is to say that we cant create a meaningful, fulfilling life. We absolutely can. But its unlikely to look identical to our life pre-illness.
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Stay Connected To The Outside World
Socially, you might also be tempted to shut yourself away, saying no when friends or family ask if you want to meet up with them. This is reaction is completely normal, but being present at social events, and spending time with other people, will help to reduce your symptoms of depression and help keep them at bay in the future.
Social media and video calls are a convenient way to do this, but if youre able to then a face-to-face meeting will have the most positive effect. You could try taking small steps with the goal of a meeting in a public location being the end goal. Whatever you try, make sure you only commit to what feels comfortable for you.
Get Your Financials Under Control
I remember driving my fancy car through the local drive thru only to order a dollar burger and a cup of tap water. I was bankrupt and broke.
When you find yourself in the middle of financial trouble, it can take the wind out of your sails.
Fight back by creating a plan. Stick to it the best you can. As you relate to yourself taking back your financial life, it will give you strength in other areas of your life.
If you need budgeting advice, I recommend Dave Ramseys course on gaining financial freedom.
Taking back a sense of control over your finances is akin to taking back control over your life.
I get that things can be so messed up that it seems impossible, so do what you can with what you have.
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Become A Cheerleader For Yourself
Make it a habit to praise yourself. Every night before bed, stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes, and praise yourself for one thing you did well that day.
Make self-praise familiar. Become a cheerleader for yourself. When you notice feelings of anxiety, which is only to be expected as your comfort zone and confidence grows, reassure yourself by saying: I can do this. You may like to write down a list of other phrases, affirmations, or power thoughts youd like to say to yourself throughout the day. You could even set silent alarms on your phone, so these empowering words pop up for you to read.
Preventing And Treating Depression
A child with low self-esteem may be at risk for a depressive episode, but their self-esteem concerns don’t necessarily mean they are currently depressed. For both symptoms of self-esteem and depression, early identification is extremely important, especially for children. A proper diagnosis and preventative treatment can reduce the severity of a child’s course of depression.
If your child shows signs of low self-esteem or depression, talk to their pediatrician or other mental health professionals for an accurate diagnosis and effective treatment options.
While many parents fear heavy-duty medication, depression treatment for children most often involves talk therapy, or cognitive-behavioral therapy , to help them identify and change unhealthy thought patterns that contribute to poor self-esteem and depression.
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Start The Day On A Positive Note
Nowadays, people typically start their day by scrolling through their social media, news sources, or checking their emails and messages. The content on social media and the news is often not quite uplifting or make you doubt yourself. For somebody with depression, this can be more challenging.
Mornings are crucial because they often set the pace for the rest of the day. Therefore, look at things that can bring positivity to your life. For instance, you can go over your gratitude list from the previous night or pick social media pages or news sources like Upworthy or to start your day on a better note.
Stop Telling Yourself You Have No Confidence
You wont be able to start building yourself up again if youre constantly putting yourself down. If you hear yourself saying that phrase, either out loud or in your head, try to stop in your tracks and say No. Thats not true. Talk to yourself the same way youd talk to a friend encourage and praise yourself.
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Characteristics Of Confident Vs Insecure People
Able to laugh at themselves
Judgmental and jealous of others
Always make excuses
Fortunately, there are things you can do to boost your self-confidence. Whether you lack confidence in one specific area or you struggle to feel confident about anything, these strategies can help.
Accept What Depression Says
Depression is a radio station. Its like any other radio station.
Its not the radio station that you have to be scared of, anxiously switching it off whenever it plays.
Its a radio station.
At Depression.fm, you hear things that you may not like.
- Youre useless.
- You dont belong anywhere.
- Youll never succeed.
Its a radio station. That means that you can adjust its volume. Rather than shutting it off, be friends with what its saying.
In Russ Harriss book, The Happiness Trap, he introduces the idea of acceptance and commitment therapy.
He suggests that whenever we hear depression.fm playing, you can say,
Oh! Theres depression.fm again!
Its saying, Im useless.
Doing this is about putting space between yourself and the thought. Rather than getting caught up in it, you detach from it.
You defuse its power.
Being friends with depression is about recognising that it has a place, however much you wish to be rid of it. Its also recognising that you have the power to put space between yourself and the thought. You dont have to identify with everything it says.
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Smile Like You Mean It
A smile goes a long way. Even if youre not fully sure of yourself, youll exude a sureness that encourages people to perceive you as a confident person. Youll be seen as a leader rather than a follower, and things will be more likely to go your way. The media portrays Special Forces soldiers as killing machines, but one of their most used weapons is a friendly smile. Diplomacy is strong, so put a smile on your face, and make the world a better place.
The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life Work And Confidence With Everyday Courage By Mel Robbins
In The 5 Second Rule, Mel Robbins reminds us of the vast amount of support we have received from individuals throughout our lives and that this should push and motivate us to overcome the excuses we have created to impede our progress and achievement.
Through discussing a variety of different habits and entertaining stories, Mel Robbins argues that it only takes us about 5 seconds to become confident, stop procrastination, overcome fear, and live overall happier lifestyles. Just like we can all hold ourselves back, we can also push ourselves forward.
This is a motivational book that is great for anyone looking to quickly add a positive push to their daily life.
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Write A Letter Of Self
You may find yourself blaming yourself for depression. Please, forgive yourself.
The antidote to self-flagellation is self-forgiveness. Forgive yourself for having depression.
Be specific about what youre forgiving yourself for.
I forgive you for having depression. I know that this time is frustrating because you feel that youre not moving forward with any of your goals, and that youre being pushed back instead!
But I forgive you.
Chin Up And Shoulders Straight For A Boost Of Self
Straightening your posture creates chemical changes in your body that will give you an extra boost of self-esteem within three minutes!. When you physically make yourself larger by raising your chin, straightening your spine and bringing your shoulders back, you mentally feel bigger and more important. This position, called the ‘power-pose’, raises your testosterone level by 20% and lowers your cortisol levels by 25% – higher levels of testosterone and lower levels of cortisol leads to higher levels of self confidence. Give it a try right now and feel the power!
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Get Your Eating Sleeping And Self
We all know inherently that we should take care of ourselves, but when no one is looking it easy to derail your rest, nutrition and recreation.
But the truth is our bodies operate much like a machine. If we dont make sure that the proper maintenance is in place, the machine will not continue to function sufficiently.
Likewise, when you are coping with depression, it can be easy to let your sleep and eating patterns get out of whack.
Sometimes, you have to enlist the help of others to make sure that you get on a schedule that works.
If you want to be able to reclaim a positive self-image, you are going to be mindful of how you are taking care of yourself.
Make a list of 5-7 things that can help with this, or 5-7 things that would help you improve your quality of rest, nutrition, and recreation.