Just Exercise And Eat Healthily
Wow, my word, you’re brilliant! You should be a doctor!
No, OK, you’re right this is valid advice. I should eat better and work out. But that’s not going to heal me straight-up, first of all, and secondly, it took every ounce of strength to get out of bed this morning.
Then, I used coffee fumes to get in the shower so I don’t assault your nostrils with my scent. Now I’m sitting on the couch and I know I have to go to work, but I’m not sure how I’m supposed to go work out when I can barely gather the energy to get out of bed.
This is a catch-22: yes, it’ll make me feel better, but I need to feel better to do it. Reminding me is just going to make me feel worse unless you’re offering to go with me for a walk or a run.
If you do want to say something to someone battling depression, there are plenty of ways to be supportive. These phrases include:
“I love you.” “I’m sorry you’re having a hard time.””Let’s go get ice cream?” “I’m here for you.” “I’ll pray for you .” “Let’s go get some sunshine.”
Or tell your loved one that you don’t know what to say but you want to reassure them that you’re here for them. Tell them that it might not be OK, but you’ll stand by them.
Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because Of Your Depression
Most people imagine depression equals really sad, but unless youve experienced depression yourself, you might not know it goes so much deeper than that. Depression expresses itself in many different ways, some more obvious than others. While some people have a hard time getting out of bed, others might get to work just fine its different for everyone.
If people in your life dont get depression, join our Lets Talk Depression group to meet people who understand.
The ways people react to feelings of sadness, emptiness, loss and/or disconnection may vary to some degree, Shenell D. Evans, Ph.D., a New York-based psychologist, told The Mighty, adding:
Therefore, it makes sense that biologically depression may involve tiredness, low energy, inability to feel pleasure, crying spells, breathlessness, difficulty swallowing, pain and/or emptiness in chest or gut, disruptive sleeping patterns, decreased sex drive, disturbed appetite, indigestion.
Many of these symptoms of depression show up in ways that others in your life or even you might recognize right away. To find out how depression shows itself in ways other people cant see, we asked The Mightys mental health community to share one thing people dont realize theyre doing because they have depression.
Heres what they had to say:
1. In social situations, some people dont realize I withdraw or dont speak much because of depression. Instead, they think Im being rude or purposefully antisocial. Laura B.
I’m 51 Have No Children And Am Feeling Depressed And Lonely
The dilemma I am 51 and feel alone and unsettled. Although I have lived in the UK for 20 years, it has never really been “home”. I had an expat childhood, living in Europe and the US. I was very close to my parents , and now that the family home is gone, too, I’ve lost the only stability I had in my life. I have been with my partner for 11 years, but sadly marriage has not brought me the sense of closeness or security I hoped it would. I was desperate to have a child, but had three miscarriages instead. My husband doesn’t understand my grief. He thinks our life is good as it is and that we should focus on what we have. We have separate interests and his hobbies mean I don’t see much of him at weekends. I get home from work feeling exhausted and isolated. In our family-orientated society, I am constantly reminded of what I am missing, and increasingly feel I have nothing to live for.
In principle it should be possible for your and you husband to offer a loving home to a child in need if you’re sure parenthood is the only route to contentment. The people around you occupied with raising kids will, in a matter of years, be sitting at home without them, most likely despondent because their children, so lovingly raised, now can barely make it home for lunch on Sundays, if for that matter they even choose to remain within visiting distance.
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Why Am I So Negative And Angry And Depressed
Have you ever asked yourself, Why am I so negative all the time? If the answer is yes, then youre like many other people who have constant negative thoughts. Although negativity goes hand-in-hand with depression, being negative or feeling low is not necessarily a sign of mental illness . The commonality of negativity and depression means that they are easy to treat. However, you must first be able to identify the underlying causes of these symptoms. Learn why youre so negative all the time, and whether depression could be a factor.
Consider Getting Treatment For Your Mental Health
This might sound obvious, but a way to be more productive if youre depressed is to not be depressed anymore or be less so. Almost universally, people wait far too long before accessing treatment for their mental health. When I was a therapist, I would ask clients when the onset of the problem was. Frequently, the answer would be years ago, not months or weeks.
There are a variety of approaches you can try, including Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or medication. Taking a broad-based multivitamin and mineral supplement can also help you be resilient to stress and is a simple option, especially if your eating habits have worsened due to your depression. Learning self-compassion skills can also be extremely beneficial for depression, stress, and anxiety if you tend to be self-critical. Skills for identifying and disrupting rumination are important to master as rumination impairs mood, productivity, and problem-solving.
When youre depressed or experiencing emotions like grief or anxiety, you wont always be able to be as productive as youd ideally like. Give yourself grace about this. Try a 5 minute self-compassion meditation if you need it. Be patient with yourself but also give the recommended advice a try. Depression often causes people to have negative expectations, which can include expecting advice not to work for you. If you know this, you can avoid this trap and experiment with the strategies provided.
- AB
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When To Seek Help For Negative Thoughts
Once youre stuck in a cycle of negativity, changing your thought patterns can be difficult, which is why many people seek help at this stage. If you feel like your daily life is impacted by constant or reoccurring negative thoughts, it might be time to talk to your doctor.
Remember that treatment doesn’t always mean medication. In the case of negative thinking, “getting help” can mean learning to employ cognitive behavioral therapy techniques that help you take a proactive approach toward improving your health and wellbeing.
In the meantime, you can use the technique outlined in this article to help you spot negative thoughts, before letting them go.
APA ReferenceSmith, E. . Why Am I So Negative and Angry and Depressed?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2021, December 23 from https://www.healthyplace.com/self-help/positivity/why-am-i-so-negative-and-angry-and-depressed
Feeling Depressed Or Suffering From Depression
We often get mixed up between low mood and unhappiness and depression. The two things are very different. Depression isnt about feeling unhappy, its feeling youll never be happy again, explains Colin Grange, Psychologist and Clinical Director of Lifeworks.
If youre feeling low, is it starting to interfere with your day to day life? Are you not doing things that you used to do? Are you losing motivation in and enjoyment of life? Are you starting to not enjoy your hobbies? Is everything becoming an effort?
People suffering from clinical depression often experience a range of symptoms both physical and emotional which can interfere with day to day life. Discovering whether you are suffering from one or more of these symptoms could be an important step towards getting the help you need.
Quiz: Am I depressed?
- 5min
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Work On Emotional Regulation
Its totally normal to experience self-disgust, hopelessness, and other negative feelings from time to time. But how you deal with those feelings can make all the difference.
The researchers who explored the association between loneliness and depression suggest that reframing or suppressing unwanted thoughts can help reduce their impact and prevent the negative thought cycles that often trigger feelings of depression.
So, when a friend doesnt pick up the phone, try reframing, They dont want to talk to me to, Theyre probably busy, so Ill try again later.
If no one seems available, you might start to feel a little unwanted. But instead of letting these thoughts take over, try distracting yourself by thinking about something else or spending time on something that makes you happy.
Mindful acceptance can also help you get more comfortable with distressing thoughts. Mindfulness helps you learn to accept these thoughts and then let them go before they affect your perception of yourself.
Its always wise to seek professional support if symptoms:
- dont improve after a week or two
- persist even when you try to manage them alone
- affect your ability to function or take care of daily tasks
- cause problems in your relationships
- leave you feeling hopeless or worthless
Therapy offers a safe space to get to the bottom of your symptoms, identify potential causes, and get some guidance and support on treatment and productive coping strategies, such as emotion regulation.
Common Causes And Risk Factors
Depression can be caused by a number of factors. Though a single cause cannot always be found, experts recognize the following as possible causes:
- Genetics: Depression and other mood disorders can run in families, though family history alone does not mean a person will get depression.
- Life events: Major life changes and stressful events may trigger depression. These events include divorce, the death of a loved one, job loss, or financial problems.
- Hormonal changes: Depression and low mood are often
- cultural expectations
- differences in experience
One study of twin brothers and sisters published in The American Journal of Psychiatry found that personality and relationships with others were more likely to play a role in the onset of depression.
In particular, the study stated that marital problems, the relationship with parents, and lack of social support were more likely to cause depression in women than in men.
Neuroticism, or being in a negative emotional state, was also a primary cause of depression in the women studied.
A study in the Journal of Affective Disorders also found that womens symptoms of depression were different. The women studied were more likely to have panic and anxiety disorders in addition to their depression.
Other studies have indicated that women may be more likely to gain weight and have excessive sleepiness than men.
Womens hormone changes may also play a role in how and when depression affects them.
Research on this hormonal link has found:
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Whats The Difference Between Sadness And Depression
Depression is about being sad, surebut its more than that. Depression is a mental illness that involves a lot of symptoms, like feeling exhausted all the time, losing interest in activities you normally enjoy, or thoughts of death and suicide. Episodes of depression last at least 2 weeks at a time. They can be triggered by a sad event or they can seemingly come of out of nowhere.
Why Am I Feeling Lonely And Depressed
People experience loneliness, leading to depression, for a number of different reasons.
When it comes to loneliness, a person will typically feel alone when the relationships in their life lack the intensity, intimacy and authenticity that they need to feel content. This can happen for a number of reasons, including:
- Losing someone close to you
- Getting a divorce or ending a relationship
- Retiring, becoming unemployed or changing jobs
- Entering higher education or changing your school, college or university
- Relocating to an area away from family, friends and colleagues
- Going through seasonal events such as Christmas, birthdays or anniversaries
- Experiencing a traumatic life event, particularly if it remains unaddressed
- Experiencing a mental health condition or addiction, particularly if it remains unaddressed
There are also many reasons as to why people experience depression, many of which overlap with what can cause loneliness. These can include the following:
- Experiencing trauma, especially during childhood
- Going through a distressing life event such as losing your job, getting a divorce or losing someone you love
- Struggling with serious and/or chronic physical health problems
- Having a family history of depression or other mental health problems
- Having previous experiences with mental health problems
- Having certain personality traits such as being very self-critical or having low self-esteem
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Changes In Appetite And Weight
Weight and appetite can fluctuate for people with depression. This experience may be different for each person. Some people will have an increased appetite and gain weight, while others wont be hungry and will lose weight.
One indication of whether dietary changes are related to depression is if theyre intentional or not. If theyre not, it may mean that theyre caused by depression.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention .
People who die by suicide usually show symptoms first. Often people will talk about it or make a first attempt before succeeding in ending their life. If you think someone is at immediate risk of self-harm or hurting another person:
- Stay with the person until help arrives.
- Remove any guns, knives, medications, or other things that may cause harm.
- Listen, but dont judge, argue, threaten, or yell.
If you think someone is considering suicide, get help from a crisis or suicide prevention hotline. Try the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.
It May Be Time To Make Some Changes
As much as depression is an internal war, like any battle, the landscape in which we fight matters.
When I look at the things and people around me, I ask myself if theyre contributing to my feelings of depression. This can be a very emotional process. The last thing I want to do is ride the anxiety of change and drift toward the unknown.
Sometimes, however, this is the only way.
Research confirms that our environment matters in major depressive disorder.
Is someone bullying us? Are we feeling safe? Do we absolutely dread going to our job every day? Maybe the place where we live has no green space or sunlight.
We can have a say in many of the things around us. Remember the powerful quote from Mark Batterson: You are only one defining decision away from a totally different life!
I dont have to stay in places and situations that contribute to depression and anxiety. Change may be difficult. It may take time.
But I can change my life in a single moment.
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Whats Causing My Sadness
Not knowing whats making you feel so crap makes it hard to find a solution. There are some simple things you can do to help figure it out. First up, its good to understand some obvious things that can get people down, such as experiencing grief or loss of a loved one, caring for someone who is unwell, being sick or having a medical condition or chronic illness.
Then there are other, less expected causes for sadness, such as:
- going through something stressful
- hormonal changes.
Here are some things you can try to feel better:
- Talk to someone you trust, such as a friend or a family member. They might have some insights that you cant identify yourself, which might help you figure out whats causing your sadness.
- Write down your feelings. The causes of your sadness may become more obvious if you write about whats happening in your life and how you feel about it.
- Face things head on. Try not to stay in bed all day avoiding things.
If you can work out whats getting you down, then youll be in a better position to turn your feelings around. Problem-solving strategies can be really helpful in overcoming some issues. If the cause of your sadness isnt really something that can be solved, though, you might need to focus on developing coping strategies instead.
When To Seek Professional Help
If support from family and friends and positive lifestyle changes arent enough, it may be time to seek help from a mental health professional. There are many effective treatments for depression, including:
Therapy. Consulting a therapist can provide you tools to treat depression from a variety of angles and motivate you to take the action necessary. Therapy can also offer you the skills and insight to prevent the problem from coming back.
Atypical Depression: Whats in a Name? Article on the symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment of atypical depression.
Depression and Other Illnesses An overview of the mental and physical illnesses that often co-exist with depression, and how this impacts treatment.
Depression support & suicide prevention help
Depression support
In the U.S.: Find DBSA Chapters/Support Groups or call the NAMI Helpline for support and referrals at 1-800-950-6264
UK: Find Depression support groups in-person and online or call the Mind Infoline at 0300 123 3393
Australia: Find Support Groups and regional resources or call the SANE Help Centre at 1800 18 7263
India: Call the Vandrevala Foundation Helpline at 1860 2662 345 or 1800 2333 330
Suicide prevention help
In the U.S.: Call National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255
UK and Ireland: Call Samaritans UK at 116 123
Australia: Call Lifeline Australia at 13 11 14
Other countries: Visit IASP or International Suicide Hotlines to find a helpline near you
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