Recognize And Conquer Your Critical Self Attacks
Depression is often accompanied by a critical, self-destructive mentality that interferes with and distracts us from our daily lives. When depressed, people tend to accept this negative identity as a true representation of who they are. Many people fail to recognize that this sadistic point of view is actually the voice of a well-hidden enemy within, what my father, psychologist Dr. Robert Firestone, refers to as the critical inner voice. Internalized early in life, this inner voice functions like an over-disciplinary parent holding us back and keeping us in our place.
To begin this process, it is helpful to think of these destructive thoughts as being like the parasites that keep you in bed when you’re sick with the flu. Don’t listen to these attacks when they tell you not to pursue your goals, to isolate yourself, or to forego an activity you enjoy. This gives the voice even more power over you. Instead, when you notice these thoughts and attitudes starting to intensify and take precedence over your more realistic, positive ways of thinking, it is essential to identify them as an alien point of view. Ask yourself, would you think such cruel thoughts about a friend or family member who was experiencing the same struggles. By having compassion for yourself and recognizing this inner voice as a destructive enemy, you can begin to see who you are more clearly and realistically.
Believing You Cant Eliminate Depression Is Depressing
The big insight is that no matter your reason for thinking it, the belief that you cant eliminate depression works against you and keeps you depressed. This has been clinicallly proven in every single drug trial ever conducted, via the placebo effect.
And it makes completes sense, if you think about it.
After all, if you think that you cant ever get rid of depression, you feel powerless and helpless about your situation, which creates a lot more stress and anxiety for you. Furthermore, you feel worse about your life and future, since you think youre doomed to always struggle with depression.
All of this already makes you feel depressed.
The nail in the coffin, however, is that believing you cant eliminate depression kills your energy and motivation to do things to get rid of depression for good, like improving your thinking and lifestyle in ways that help you become and remain depression-free.
The result is that you remain depressed, and the belief that you cant eliminate depression becomes a self-fulfilling belief that is confirmed for you every day. In this way, you start living in a prison of your own making.
The Energetic Nature Of Depression
Just to be clear. When I say depression I refer to it from an energy healers perspective. You see, like all emotional pain, feeling low results from weaknesses in the energy flows that make up our human energy field.
These weaknesses are caused by suppressed emotions, negativity, limiting beliefs and defensive actions we, subconsciously, took to protect ourselves from trauma and harm. They act like boulders or dams in a river. Diverting, impeding and jamming natural flow.
And every pathological change in energy flow disturbs our emotional, mental and, eventually, physical health.
So, if certain vital energies are obstructed or blocked, we start to feel lethargic, hopeless, apathetic. Emotional balance self-destructs and we are out of control. Of our feelings, our driving force. Our life.
We start to beat ourselves up, feel frustrated and let down by our own failing. Thus, further damaging life-giving energy currents. Which causes more depression.
And soon we get stuck in a self-perpetuating downward spiral. The unrelenting gravity of negativity dragging us further and further into the black chasm of despair. Until our existence seems pointless, life becomes too burdensome to bear.
And we dont even know why.
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Make A List Of Everything Stressing You Out
Many times people are so excited and in their own heads that they emphasize the problem before having to deal with it. If you take a perspective look at most of the things stressing you out, you would realize they arent as bad as you think.
There are times when stress can be a good thing it can help you overcome anxiety or motivate you to do something. But if you are constantly in a state of tension and anxiety, it can affect your bodys physical and emotional state.
You may not feel exhausted, but there are many silent signs that stress is making you depressed or simply disrupting your well-being in ways that you are not fully aware of. It could be a new job, a big project, or your current relationship.
Identifying the reason for anxiety and depression is often the first step to recovery.
Oxytocin: The Feeling Of Love
Oxytocin is a little hormone nicknamed the cuddle hormone because it makes us feel loved and connected. It plays a major role in childbirth and childcare, helping mothers and fathers feel connected . But it also affects an incredible amount of behavioral tendencies. Specifically, researcher Inga Neumann found that oxytocin changes pro-social behaviors and emotional responses for relaxation, trust between people, and psychological stability.
Ding, ding, ding!
Oxytocin is crucial to understanding our moods. Oxytocin primarily is produced and affected by the people around us. Interestingly, one study found that new lovers have higher oxytocin levels than single people for the first six months of their relationship. Oxytocin is high because our mind and body are working together to make a connection. This is why other people can change our moods so greatlyeither flipping us into a happy state or spreading toxicity to our mental state.
Oxytocin Boost: The best way to tap into your oxytocin is by tapping into your support system. The moment you are in a bad mood, think about the person who can boost your oxytocin. Specifically, whos the person who makes you laugh? Whos the best listener? Call in the team! Not only are moods contagious , but they also can produce that warm and fuzzy feeling of belonging in you!
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Know That Today Isnt Indicative Of Tomorrow
Internal emotions and thoughts can change from day to day. Tracking experiences through journaling or keeping a mood diary can help to remember this.
If you were unsuccessful at getting out of bed or accomplishing your goals today, remember that you havent lost tomorrows opportunity to try again.
Give yourself the grace to accept that while some days will be difficult, some days will also be less difficult. Try to look forward to tomorrows fresh start.
How To Treat Depression On Your Own
Maybe you feel youre not ready for any drugs, not to mention telling strangers about your problems during therapy, and youd like to treat depression on your own. Is this a good idea?
It is not. You definitely need to seek professional help, in any form that suits you. However, you can also give yourself emotional support during that challenging time. How to do that?
- Practice affirmations – repeat to yourself that you are a strong, worthy person. Say to yourself I like you. Be your own best friend! Make a list of your favorite affirmations and put it up in a visible place. Let your unconscious mind absorb the new statements you want to believe in.
- Meditate – meditation allows you to mentally reset. Just sit or lie down comfortably and focus on your breath. It will be a challenge, but dont give up! Meditation has been proven to lower anxiety levels and to have healing powers.
- Meet with friends and family – loneliness and depression go together. Contact with other human beings will help you redirect your thoughts for some time. You dont need to go to loud parties or spend time with people you dont really like. But there are plenty of sympathetic souls around you – let them into your dark world, I assure you it will brighten up.
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How To Get Someone Out Of A Depressive Episode
If you have noticed that a friend, family member, or partner is struggling with a depressive episode, heres what you can do to support them.
Start a conversation. Talk to your loved one and also listen carefully. Dont assume you understand how they feel. Validate their feelings and show empathy with both your words and your body language.
Help them get help. It can be daunting to seek treatment for a depressive episode. You can help your loved one by reviewing potential therapists with them and making an appointment if they are agreeable.
Practice Mindfulness And Meditation
Mindfulness is living in the moment and appreciating it. Rather than rushing through your daily routine, stop for a moment to appreciate the small joys of life, such as your childs laughter or the taste and texture of your food.
Meditation exercises like deep breathing or activities like yoga and tai-chi can help relax tense muscles and relieve stress.
In the long run, mindfulness and meditation help to change how your brain responds to stress and anxiety and makes it less likely that youll have a depression episode.
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Dont Disregard The Classics Try An Alarm
Go back to the classics. Set an alarm or a whole slurry of annoying alarms and put your phone or clock out of your reach.
Youll have to get up to shut it off. While its easy to just climb into bed again, if you have multiple alarms set, by the third one youll probably just be like, FINE! IM UP!
Shows Up For Yourself Every Morning
The way you show yourself each day in your own life, whether seen by others or not, sets the tone for how you live your day.
Whether youve spent most of the last two years getting used to a work-from-home schedule or have found it too exhausting to really push yourself every morning, remember, you are what you most often do.
Each morning, take a moment to prepare yourself for the day, even in the simplest way possible. If you can, take a walk to your local coffee shop for your morning drink.
However, being able to straighten up, move around and catch your breath will help you energize and start your day off right.
Find an easy way to style yourself and make you feel who you really are, even if no one sees it other than you. The way you act has a huge impact on your recovery.
If anxiousness causes you headaches and the sensation that youre overheating, an acupressure massage may be the chill-out you need.
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What Is Samhsa’s National Helpline
SAMHSAs National Helpline, , or TTY: is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.
Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.
Plan For Days Like This
Bad days happen. If you know that mornings can be a struggle, make a plan for those rough days when youre feeling better. That might look like keeping a special cereal in the pantry, saving a favorite shirt to wear on a down day, or buying a new shampoo that smells irresistibly good.
Always have something youre excited about and looking forward to, which will help push you through those times you cant get moving, says Saranga.
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Surround Yourself With Positivity
When your mental state is bringing you down, it’s easy to feel even worse by surrounding yourself with negative people and content.
Turn off that murder show on Netflix and put on something to help you laugh. Avoid your pessimistic friends and opt this week to hang out with the ones you can count on to be positive. When I’m sad, I like to listen to depressing music which always makes me feel even sadder. To help get my productivity and spark back, I’ll put on an upbeat tune and try to sing it lift my mood. Even though it’s hard, try to remove any negative triggers that might bring you and your business down.
While feeling sad, depressed or anxious may feel like a black hole, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Doing something creative or surrounding yourself with positivity won’t cure you instantly, but it will help you find your way towards the light.
Tip : Challenge Negative Thinking
Do you feel like you’re powerless or weak? That bad things happen and there’s not much you can do about it? That your situation is hopeless? Depression puts a negative spin on everything, including the way you see yourself and your expectations for the future.
When these types of thoughts overwhelm you, it’s important to remember that this is a symptom of your depression and these irrational, pessimistic attitudesknown as cognitive distortionsaren’t realistic. When you really examine them they don’t hold up. But even so, they can be tough to give up. You can’t break out of this pessimistic mind frame by telling yourself to just think positive. Often, it’s part of a lifelong pattern of thinking that’s become so automatic you’re not even completely aware of it. Rather, the trick is to identify the type of negative thoughts that are fueling your depression, and replace them with a more balanced way of thinking.
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Whats The Difference Between Grief And Depression
Given that the primary symptom associated with depression is sadness, it can be easy to think of grief or bereavement as depression. But grief is a natural response to specific experiences, such as the end of a relationship or the death of a loved one. While you might feel regret or remorse, and you might withdraw from usual activities if you are experiencing grief, youre unlikely to feel the overwhelming sense of worthlessness, thoughts of self-harm or suicide, and other symptoms of depression. Another important difference is that in grief, painful feelings usually come in waves and are often mixed with positive memories.
In some cases, however, grief and depression do coexist, or grief can trigger depression, according to experts writing in the journal American Family Physician. Having a mental health professional help you distinguish between them can ensure you get the support you need.
How To Pull Yourself Out Of Depression ~ Put Things Into Perspective
When I played the victim of my circumstances once I got all depressed in a situation I was in. God reminded me of something. This may sound cliche, but the message hit me hard. I was watching the show Life Today and children who did not have clean water. I watched village person after village person go to a dirty lake, fill up their containers, and drink.
The water was not even clear but brown and dirty. They knew the water was contaminated but they had no choice but to drink it. Risking getting sick and dying. The alternative was to get dehydrated and get sick and die. . But literally it was a lose-lose situation.
In that moment I decided to put things in perspective. Because any given day, I could walk to a faucet and get clean water and not worry about dying from it. This was a turning point for me I realized that the same things and situations that you may be depressed about there are someone somewhere in this world that would LOVE to trade lives with you.
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Recognize The Importance Of Self
Self-care is essential for good physical and mental health. Self-care activities are any actions that help people look after their wellbeing.
Self-care means taking time to relax, recharge, and connect with the self and others. It also means saying no to others when overwhelmed and taking space to calm and soothe oneself.
Basic self-care activities include eating a healthful diet, engaging in creative activities, and taking a soothing bath. But any action that enhances mental, emotional, and physical health can be considered a self-care activity.
Find A Reason To Get Out Of Bed
If routines you enjoy can help motivate you, finding a fun or exciting reason to get out of bed in the morning might help even more. Maybe its a special breakfast or treating yourself to a fancy cup of coffee on the way into the office.
Giving yourself a reason to get up is always a good motivator. Positive reinforcement can be a great influencer and help you break the hold that I cant get out of bed depression has on you.
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Walk Away From Depression
Motivation to exercise may be scarce when you’re feeling well, let alone when you are depressed, but try to do it anyhow.
“The typical things that we all know are important to taking care of ourselves become that much more important when you’re dealing with depression,” Browning says.
Exercise is a proven tonic for depression. For decades studies have been showing that aerobic exercise improves mood in people who are depressed.
Researchers recently found that the amount of aerobic exercise recommended by the CDC for general good health — equivalent to 30 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise at least five days a week — can bring about big improvements in depression.
The study, published in the January 2005 issue of American Journal of Preventive Medicine, involved people with mild-to-moderate depression who did various amounts of exercise for 12 weeks. All groups in the study, including those in the control group, who only did stretches, had some improvement, but those who exercised as much as the CDC recommends fared best. In that group, 46% of the people reduced their symptoms by one-half, as rated on a scale of depression severity, and 42% no longer qualified as depressed when the study ended.
It’s important to start slowly with exercise. Decide what you can do, and as Aikens suggests, do a little bit less than that. If you think you could manage a 20-minute brisk walk, try 15 minutes first, and don’t be discouraged if you don’t feel better afterward.