Think About What You Gain From Being Hopeless
Thinking about what you gain from being hopeless sounds like a strange exercise on the surface. After all, you might be thinking, I dont gain anything. I dont want to feel this way.
But, upon a little more reflection you might discover that feeling hopeless protects you from being disappointed. If you dont expect anything good to happen, you dont have to worry about being disappointed if things go poorly.
Being hopeless also might help you feel all right about not taking action.
For example, if youre hopeless that youll ever pay off your debt, you might not bother trying to increase your income or you might not manage your spending .
So consider whether you might be gaining something by remaining hopeless. You might find it somehow protects you from creating change or doing anything differently.
The Wrong Relationships Pull You Back The Right Ones Push You Forward
When youre moving through a sizeable life transition, its important to have close family and friends around you that can offer their support and understanding. Theres no room for needless negativity. Its like the transition phase in labor that last phase before a woman gives birth to a new life. She cant possibly stop to take on other peoples problems or feel guilty about not returning text messages. She needs to protect her thoughts, her time, and her energy.
This same principle applies to you. If you find that you have a toxic, draining relationship thats constantly bringing you down and keeping you stuck, let them go for a while. They may not be an inherently bad person, but theyre not the right person to be spending time with every day.
Remember, not all toxic relationships are agonizing and uncaring on purpose. Some of them involve people who care about you people who have good intentions, but are toxic because their needs and way of existing in the world force you to compromise yourself and your happiness. And as hard as it is, we have to distance ourselves enough to give ourselves space to live.
What Recovery From Depression Looks Like
It may take great effort for people with depression to learn how to integrate new ways of seeing themselves and the world. Small steps are a good way to make changes that build on each other. Healing happens slowly, one change at a time. At first, suggestions may come from therapy. Later, you may find yourself ready to consider one improvement at a time, for example:
- Could you do one social thing this week?
- Could you reach out to one friend this week?
- You once enjoyed hiking could you go again?
You know you are seeing recovery begin when you look back on a week and realize you had coffee with a friend, or that you got more sleep three nights in a row, or that you did actually go for a walk. As you recover, you learn how to manage your symptoms so that they no longer feel overwhelming.
With recovery, a person with a depressive disorder will feel like they can see the light at the end of the tunnel that there is a glimmer of life again.
Healing from depression takes great strength and persistence. Reaching out for support is a sign not of weakness, but tremendous strength and courage. Facing depression and learning to manage and heal from debilitating symptoms is admirable and deserves our utmost respect.
Many of us face lifes challenges unaware of each others struggles. By understanding how to recognize the difference between sadness and depression, more of us can help and encourage each other to find the support they need.
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Look At What You Can Control
Some people say that putting their lives in order helps. Being involved in your health care, keeping your appointments, and making changes in your lifestyle are among the things you can control. Even setting a daily schedule can give you a sense of control. And while no one can control every thought, some say that they try not to dwell on the fearful ones, but instead do what they can to enjoy the positive parts of life.
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Tips For Living With A Chronic Illness
Depression, disability, and chronic illness form a vicious cycle. Chronic medical conditions can bring on bouts of depression, which, in turn, get in the way of successful treatment of the disease.
Living with a chronic illness is a challenge, and it’s normal to feel grief and sadness as you come to grips with your condition and its implications. But if these feelings don’t go away, or you are having trouble sleeping or eating, or you’ve lost interest in the activities you normally enjoy, seek help.
To avoid depression:
- Try not to isolate yourself. Reach out to family and friends. If you don’t have a solid support system, take steps to build one. Ask your doctor or therapist about support groups and other community resources.
- Learn as much as you can about your condition. Knowledge is power when it comes to getting the best treatment available and keeping your sense of independence and control.
- Make sure that you have medical support from experts you trust and can talk to openly about your ongoing questions and concerns.
- If you suspect that your medication is bringing you down, talk to your doctor about other possible treatments.
- Talk with your doctor about pain management.
- As much as is possible, keep doing the things you like to do. You’ll stay connected as well as boost your self-confidence and sense of community.
- If you think you’re depressed, don’t wait to get help. Find a therapist or counselor you trust.
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Support For People With Depression
So what does a person whose reality has shifted in this way need? Please keep in mind that I am talking about a major depressive episodesevere depression that has lasted more than two weeks. I would take a different approach for someone with milder depression, or one that is a response to a terrible loss.
For some people in a major depression, psychotropic medication works and is the only thing that works. The same could be said for electroshock treatment, though its not for everyone. Many people will emerge from major depression in time, though episodes seem to make more episodes more likely, so if medication works to end the episode, its usually prudent to take it. Nutrition, acupuncture, and other body-based treatments as well as therapy can help without the side effects of medication.
How Do We Get Ourselves In A Good Place During Times Of Depression And Desperation
In my book Overcoming Anxiety, Worry and Fear, the first section explains the effects of prolonged or severe anxiety and worry. I want the reader to understand both the potential physical and mental outcomes from excessive fear and anxiety. Once the reader recognizes that they are experiencing the effects of anxiety, worry, and fear, they can then focus on how to overcome them.
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Meaningful Daily Reminders Make Growth And Positive Change Easier
You can post meaningful quotes on your bedroom wall, or find a coffee a mug that has a motivational message on it . But you can also take it a step further than that too
Few good things come easy, and when the going gets tough we often take the easy way out even though the easy way takes us the wrong way.
To combat this, I create tangible reminders that pull me back from the brink of my weak impulses. For example, I have my laptops desktop background set to a photo of my family, both because I love looking at them and because, when work gets really tough, these photos remind me of the people I am ultimately working for.
And Im not the only one whos successfully using this strategy
A friend of mine who has paid off almost $100K of debt in the past five years has a copy of his credit card balance taped to his computer monitor it serves as a constant reminder of the debt he still wants to pay off. Another friend keeps a photo of herself when she was 90 pounds heavier on her refrigerator as a reminder of the person she never wants to be again.
Think of moments when you are most likely to give in to impulses that keep you stuck and take you farther away from your ultimate goals. Then use visual reminders of those goals to interrupt the impulse and rebuild the momentum that keeps you on the right track.
What Does It Feel Like To Lack Purpose
If you are experiencing a lack of purpose in your life, you may feel constantly bored, dissatisfied or empty, like life has no meaning. You may feel unfulfilled in your relationships with others, disaffected at home and at work, and find yourself anxiously ruminating on what the point of life is.
You may feel hopeless, desperate or simply numb, and unable to find enjoyment in the things that used to bring you pleasure. Feeling a lack of purpose can also contribute to depression and anxiety, especially when you feel unable to see a way out of your empty feelings.
Experiencing a lack purpose in life can also isolate you from your friends and loved ones, leaving you feeling lonely and cut off, and unable to participate in social activities.
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Dealing With Depression And Loneliness
No matter how many people are around you or in your life, depression can still bring loneliness. Try these tips to reconnect and break free of the isolation of depression.
Everyone feels lonely from time to time, but for some, loneliness comes far too often. Feeling lonely can plague many people including the elderly, people who are isolated, and those with depression with symptoms such as sadness, isolation, and withdrawal. Loneliness can strike a person who lives alone or someone who lives in a house filled with people. Loneliness is subjective, says Louise Hawkley, PhD, a research associate in the psychology department at the University of Chicago. You cant argue with someone who says theyre lonely.
Although depression doesnt always lead to loneliness, feeling lonely is often a predictor of depression one year or even two years later, and it certainly leads to sadness, Dr. Hawkley says. Freeing yourself of feelings like being isolated by depression is part of the healing process.
How to Fight Depression and Loneliness
Feelings of loneliness dont have to be constant to call for action, but you will need to give yourself a push to get back into the thick of life and re-engage with others to start feeling better. These strategies for fighting depression and loneliness can help:
Talk To A Trusted Friend Or Family Member
When youre struggling to identify possible solutions or you are having a hard time getting unstuck, reach out to a trusted friend or family member. Tell them what youre experiencing.
They may be able to help you see things from a different perspective. Or, they may offer strategies that can help you feel better.
It can be hard to tell people what youre going through. However, telling someone could be key to helping you gain a little more hope about your situation.
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What If Some Mental Disorders Aren’t Actually Disorders At All
Tips. Decrease the amount of information that causes you anxiety. Negativity and pessimism can wear on any of us. Recognize it in yourself and others, and work to minimize or avoid it. Positivity, hope, and encouragement are appreciated by all of us. Seek it out and contribute to it yourself.
Increase the amount of information that is unemotional, factual, that provides actions you can take to mitigate exposure, enhance hygiene, obtain a work loan, and other important tasks in your life. Do you feel helpless? Ask for help. Stop and calculate the odds of your fear. Act reasonably and responsibly based on solid information.
2. Refuse to Sweat the Small Stuff. There are only so many hours in a day, and only so many things we can address. Create a priority list, and work through it. Is your house getting messier with more family members spending more time in the house? Decide if it is Big Stuff or Small Stuff. Ask for help from others to participate in the Small Stuff so it doesnt become Big Stuff.
During stressful times , learn to let go. Anxiety and fear scream at you that youre in danger. Everyone is either friend or foe. Anxious people hang on to too many things too tightly.
If so, take a deep breath and calm down. That is your anxiety talking. Identify small things at first reduce your social media community of a few people whose comments anger or worry you, get rid of clutter in a room that causes you continuous angst.
How Is Depression And Anxiety Treated
If you broke your leg, you wouldn’t just struggle on without help. You’d get in seen to. Mental health is as important as physical health and can be treated successfully. There are several treatments available often a combination of treatments is needed.
If your symptoms are mild, your GP may take a ‘wait and see’ approach. They may give you some advice on how to cope with symptoms then see if symptoms improve within a few weeks.
Talking treatments
Theres something called ‘talking therapies’ now, which can really help people who are feeling low, anxious or out of sorts.
Talking treatments allow you to talk to a trained professional who can help you manage your thoughts and feelings and the effect they have on your mood and behaviour.
Examples of talking treatments include cognitive behavioural therapy and counselling. They may be one-on-one sessions or in a group environment.
If you are considering talking treatments, be sure to mention any cultural, language or religious needs you have or any hearing or sight problems, so they can be addressed when arranging therapy for you. Talking treatments are effective and available for free on the NHS.
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Help For Suicidal Thoughts
Sometimes, these feelings can become more pronounced and you may feel that life is not worth living or that you want to end your life. You may have found yourself planning how you might do this. If you need help now, please contact the support lines listed below, which are available 24 hours per day, 365 days per year.
- for Mental Health Single Point of Access services if you are a resident of Ealing, Hounslow or Hammersmith and Fulham
- Call 0800 023 4650 or email for Mental Health Single Point of Access services if you are a resident of Brent, Harrow, Hillingdon, Kensington and Chelsea or Westminster
- . This number is free to call and is available 24 hours per day and 365 days per year
- Or go to the Accident and Emergency Departments in St Marys, Charing Cross, Chelsea and Westminster, West Middlesex, Ealing, Northwick Park, Central Middlesex or Hillingdon Hospitals where you can walk in and who can pass you on to the Mental Health team.
Creating A Safe Place To Face Personal Challenges
Treatment begins with building a safe, supportive environment. Trauma-informed therapy occurs within an empathetic, therapeutic relationship. Emotional safety is our primary resource, like a protective force field around everything we do. This provides a secure feeling that: I can tell my therapist what is on my mind, they are not going to judge me, dismiss me, be angry with me or shame me they are going to walk alongside me.
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Taking Consistent And Realistic Action Every Day Sets You Free
All details aside, when it comes to making a substantial change in your life earning a new degree, building a new business, fostering a new relationship, starting a family, becoming more mindful, or any other personal journey that takes time and commitment one thing you have to ask yourself is:
Am I willing to spend a little time every day like many people wont, so I can spend the better part of my life like many people cant?
Think about it. We ultimately become what we repeatedly do. The acquisition of knowledge doesnt mean youre growing growing happens when what you know changes how you live.
And remember that this change doesnt happen all at once. It happens just one small step at a time. When it comes to making changes, less is more.
After I recovered from feeling stuck, being able to think clearly and plan again had me filling journal entries with ideas and mile-long to-do lists. However, I learned quickly that its unrealistic to accomplish 100 tasks a day, so I pared down and forced myself to make a daily list of no more than three core things I had to do in order to move myself forward. I began to feel empowered rather than overwhelmed since I took everything in smaller, manageable steps.
Desperation Fueled By Anxiety
Studies such as the one Dr. Martin Bürgy from the University of Stuttgart in Germany carried out indicate that despair is a subject that has been neglected until quite recently in the world of psychology. For whatever reason, we always seemed to leave it to the world of philosophy, which seeks to answers questions regarding the more existential problems in life.
- However, cognitive psychology is now very clear about the fact that this condition is very clinically relevant. Despair can manifest at any moment in our lives.
- We can feel it in moments when everything seems to be going against us, and we feel were getting nowhere. It can lead to very serious problems in our lives.
- It happens when we fall into cycles of obsessive thinking full of negativity and helplessness. These negative thoughts mix with a complex network of emotions such as sadness, anguish, anger, and frustration.
Its very common for despair to manifest as a result of anxiety. However, if this situation is maintained over time, the person will almost inevitably drift towards a depressive disorder.
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