Is My Depression My Fault

Therapists Are Standing By To Treat Your Depression Anxiety Or Other Mental Health Needs

Depression is an Illness, Not a Weakness

Its impossible to do any of the things that self-help books advise, and each book contains hundreds of suggestions. I cant do a yoga warrior pose, I cant get out and see people, I cant meditate, I cant do push-ups and I cant get a good nights sleep.

When Im trying to cope in that condition, all I can do is to start where I am. Since I cant do anything, just where would that starting point be?

I do have one thing left. Awareness. At first, Im only aware of what I cant do. Mental confusion and the inability to focus are usually mentioned in the list of depression markers, but Im not at all confused about everything thats wrong.

Depression gifts you with extraordinarily vivid, powerful, detailed memories of all your mistakes, failures, weaknesses, embarrassments. You have absolute clarity of mind for the negatives, and they build a case of shame and worthlessness. Severe depression, after all, really wants to destroy you, literally if possible. So it leaves you the mental and emotional equipment to undermine your life.

Thats what Im obsessed with. At the same time, though, Im aware that Im tearing myself down. I see what Im doing to myself, and another level of awareness opens up. I want to stop the depression. I really want to feel better. I may not be able to do much to end it, but I know I want to come alive again.

Usually, Im still too tense and self-obsessed to get any clear idea of what to do.

Start where I am.

So What Could I Have Done

The logical part of me knows I probably couldnt have prevented Noras illness that, sometimes, bad things just happen. But the emotional parent in me cant help picking away at what happened, looking for reasons to blame myself.

I think about Noras rapid descent from a happy, confident, well-adjusted child to the very ill person she is today, and I know I made mistakes.

Of course, I got some things right. Mostly, the stuff thats already on those good parenting and how to prevent your child getting depressed lists.

If youre reading this, chances are like me youre worrying about other stuff the stuff that doesnt appear on any generic list and is specific to your child, and your situation.

So, for you, here are the top 3 mistakes I made during the early days of my daughters illness. Im not saying youll make the same mistakes. Im certainly not saying that if you avoid these mistakes, your child wont get sick.

Im sharing this because reading other parents experiences has helped me enormously. Id like to be able to do the same.

Can Violent Behavior Signify Depression

No, violent behavior does not signify depression. However, one study investigated the differences between the criminal records of people with depression and those without depression. The researchers found that depressed individuals were almost thrice as likely as those without depression to engage in violent crimes.

Also Check: Angry All The Time Depression

What To Do If Youre Worried About Depression In Children

Depression doesnt go away on its own. You need to help your child.

Heres what to do:

See your GP, and get a referral to a paediatrician, psychiatrist or psychologist, who can diagnose and treat depression in children.
Ask your GP about a referral to a mental health social worker or counsellor.
If you cant get help quickly, feel concerned about your childs safety or dont know what to do, find your local area mental health service by calling your nearest hospital or by calling Lifeline on 131 114.
If your child is 5 years old or older, they can talk with a Kids Helpline counsellor by calling 1800 551 800 or using the Kids Helpline email counselling service or the Kids Helpline web counselling service.

help your child get better faster
help your child grow up healthy and well
reduce the risk that your child will have depression later in life.

Your GP will probably talk with you about a Mental Health Treatment Plan for your child. If you have a plan, your child can get Medicare rebates for up to 20 sessions with a mental health professional. You can also get Medicare rebates for visits to a paediatrician or psychiatrist.

For Youth: Learn About Depression

Yeah, me being depressed: totally my fault : memes

How many times have you heard someone about how depressed they feel because theyre a little bit disappointed or upset? Some people use the word depression to mean a lot of different things, or even make jokes. But depression is really an illness that we all need to take seriously. Feeling sad from time to time is normal. Feeling sad most of the time is a sign that you might need extra support.

Depression Isn’t Your Fault

We aren’t exactly sure why some people get depression. Most people think that depression is caused by more than one thing, including changes in your body, a history of other family members who have experienced depression, and stressful or difficult life events. How you see yourself and the world can also add to feelings of depression.

Depression is a common mental illness. In fact, more than one in ten people will have a mood problem like depression during their lifetime. When you know what to look for and what to do if you think you might have depression, you can get help quickly and start to feel better.

“I dont know why I bother trying”
“I should be able to just snap out of this”
“I should just end my life”

Actions

Losing interest in things you usually like to do
Avoiding other people, even people you like
Having a hard time paying attention
Having a hard time at school, or finding that your grades are dropping

Changes in your body

Changes in the way you sleep. Some people don’t sleep much at all. Other people may sleep a lot more than usual
Changes in the way you eat. Some people don’t feel hungry and have a hard time eating. Other people feel very hungry all the time or get a lot of comfort from food
Feeling worried or on edge a lot
Pains or other physical feelings that no one can figure out, like headaches or stomach aches
Feeling tired all the time, like you just want to stay in bed all day

When To Seek Outside Help

If you experience persistent feelings of sadness and futility and lose interest in activities you usually enjoy, contact a professional if this continues for more than two weeks.

Here are a few other symptoms of depression to watch for:

Changes in weight or appetite
Problems with sleep
Tiredness or lack of energy
Feelings of guilt or worthlessness
Problems with thinking or concentration
Thoughts of death or suicide

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.

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Signs And Symptoms Of Depression In Children

If you notice any of the following signs in your child, and these signs last longer than about 2 weeks, your child might have depression.

Changes in your childs emotions or behaviour You might notice that your child:

seems sad or unhappy most of the time
is irritable, cranky or aggressive, wont do what you ask most of the time, or has a lot of temper tantrums
says negative things about themselves for example, Im not good at anything or No-one at school likes me
feels guilty for example, your child might say Its always my fault
is afraid or worried a lot
keeps saying their tummy or head hurts, and these problems dont seem to have a physical or medical cause.

Changes in your childs interest in everyday activities You might notice that your child:

doesnt have as much energy as they usually do
doesnt want to be around friends and family
isnt interested in playing or doing things they used to enjoy
has problems sleeping, including nightmares
is eating differently for example, theyre eating more or less food than usual
has problems concentrating, remembering things or making simple decisions.

Changes in your childs behaviour or academic performance at school If your child is at school, you might also notice that your child:

isnt doing as well academically as they used to
isnt taking part in school activities
has problems fitting in at school or getting along with other children.

How Depression Affects Relationships

This is how I overcame my depression

Depression can negatively affect relationships because it can result in conflict, disconnect, and poor communication. One partner might feel isolated and alone. If the depressed partner is experiencing a low mood, the other partner might feel worried and anxious about their overall wellbeing. Depression also affects everything from work, to socializing, to sexual desire, so the ripples of depression within relationships reach beyond low mood. Depression can affect financial stability and employment.

Given the complex nature of depression and the many ways it affects both partners, its important to identify communities of support to help both partners work through it together.

When A Parent Is Depressed

…What kids want to know

Guides & Publications
When a parent is depressed … What kids want to know

Children have a lot of questions when someone in their family is sick. When the problem is about depression, it often becomes a secret that nobody talks about. When children don’t have answers to their questions, they tend to come up with their own, which may be incorrect and scary!

Every parent and child’s “beginning conversation” about depression will be different depending on the child’s age and ability to manage the information. You know your children best.

This information will help prepare you to take the first step. If you have already started talking to a child about depression, this information will give you details to keep the conversation going. It lists common questions children have about their parent’s depression, as well as suggestions for how to answer their questions.

What is depression? How does depression work?

Depression is a disorder that affects how a person feels, thinks, and acts.
When people are depressed, their brain works differently from when they don’t have a depression. Our brains help us to think, feel, and act in certain ways. So when people are depressed, they think, feel, and act differently from how they do when they’re well.
Depression is not a weakness.
Depression is a fairly common disorder, even though people don’t always talk about it.

What causes depression? How does it start?

Will the depression ever be fixed?

Depression Causes And Risk Factors

Depression is a complex disorder, and researchers are still learning about its causes. Among these are:

Brain chemistry. Your brain relies on a delicate interplay of neurotransmitterschemicals that help regulate moodto function well. In some people, these chemicals are out of balance.
Genetics: Depression often runs in families.
Environment. Negative experiences such as abuse, neglect, and violence can increase the likelihood of depression. So can attitudes, behaviors, and coping mechanisms learned in childhood.
Other diseases. People who have serious or chronic diseases often develop secondary depression.
Temperament. Low self-esteem, limited stress tolerance, and pessimistic attitudes can contribute to a tendency toward depression.

One or more of these factors can combine to produce major depression. For example, if you have a family history of depression, a particular occurrence or situation could trigger the disorder.

Although you might be aware of lifestyle changes you can make to support your mental health, actually undertaking them can be difficult if you are depressed. For example, exercising every day can be nearly impossible when you barely have the energy to get out of bed. People sometimes mistake this inaction for laziness or ignorance, but it’s important to remember that it is not your fault. It’s a symptom of a disease.

Recommended Reading: Best Advice To Give To Someone Depressed

Managing Depression In Children: Professional Support

Your childs psychologist, psychiatrist, mental health social worker or counsellor might use cognitive behaviour therapy to help your child change unhelpful or unhealthy thinking habits and behaviour.

Your childs therapist might use other approaches like relaxation, mindfulness, play therapy, parent therapy or family therapy to help your child learn to think more positively and deal with challenges. This means your child will be less likely to have depression again.

When you and your childs health professionals work as a team to support your child, it can make a big difference to your childs recovery. Talk with the professionals about how you can support your childs therapy at home.

A Culture That Routinely Questions The Severity Of Our Illnesses And The Sincerity Of Our Efforts Effectively Blaming The Victim Keeps Many Of Us From Accessing The Care That We Need

And in my experience, its the norm in this society.

I want to unpack those criticisms. The reality is that they harm not just me, but the millions of people that grapple with these illnesses every day.

Here are four ways people with mental health conditions are blamed for what theyre going through and what we can learn from these harmful assumptions:

Also Check: Helping Your Child With Depression And Anxiety

Positivity Quote For Life With Mental Illness

Instead of saying Im damaged. Im broken. I have trust issues say Im healing. Im rediscovering myself. Im starting over.

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That’s it for now. If you know of anyone who can benefit from this newsletter or the HealthyPlace.com site, I hope you’ll pass this onto them. You can also share the newsletter on any social network you belong to by clicking the links below. For updates throughout the week, follow us on , like us on , subscribe to our YouTube channel, or follow us on .

Thank you,

Antenatal And Postnatal Depression

Women are at an increased risk of depression during pregnancy and in the year following childbirth . This time frame may also be referred to as the perinatal period.

The causes of depression at this time can be complex and are often the result of a combination of factors. In the days immediately following birth, many women experience the baby blues, which is a common condition related to hormonal changes, affecting up to 80 per cent of women who have given birth.

The baby blues, or the general stress of adjusting to pregnancy or a new baby, are common experiences, but are different from depression.

Depression is longer lasting and can affect not only the mother, but her relationship with her baby, the childs development, the mothers relationship with her partner and with other members of the family.

Up to one in 10 women will experience depression during pregnancy. This increases to 16 per cent in the first three months after having a baby.

Also Check: I Think I Need Depression Medication

Can You See Where I’m Going With This

But you get my point, right?

I stand by my conviction – if you suffer from depression and are doing any of the above, then you only have yourself to blame – period!

*In this article I talk about what is known as situational depression and do not pass judgement or opinion on any other form of depression.

If you are suffering with depression I highly recommend contact CALM who provide a great service.

Personal Factors That Can Lead To Depression

Depression Is Not Caused by a Chemical Imbalance

Personal factors that can lead to a risk of depression include:

family history depression can run in families and some people will be at an increased genetic risk. However, this doesnt mean that a person will automatically experience depression if a parent or close relative has had the condition.
personality some people may be more at risk because of their personality, particularly if they tend to worry a lot, have low self-esteem, are perfectionists, are sensitive to personal criticism, or are self-critical and negative
serious medical conditions these can trigger depression in two ways. Serious conditions can bring about depression directly or can contribute to depression through the associated stress and worry, especially if it involves long-term management of a condition or chronic pain
drug and alcohol use can both lead to and result from depression. Many people with depression also have drug and alcohol problems.

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My Depressed Partner Blames Me For Everything Should I Put Up With It

Does your depressed partner blame you for everything? If so, you may be wondering if you should put up with it to try to help your partner and preserve the relationship or whether you should leave to protect your emotional health. While the symptoms of depression are nobody’s fault, that doesn’t mean you should put up with unpleasant or abusive behavior. Your mental and emotional health should be your number one priority, however much you love your partner. Setting boundaries is easier said than done, so heres what you should do if your depressed partner blames you for everything.

I Feel Guilty About Being Depressed

People have it worse. My family has been through way more, and theyre fine. I dont have anything to be depressed about. I should just suck it up.

These are just some of the messages we get and repeat to ourselves about depression. But the idea that you must have something specific happen to you, or that you have to have NO positive things in your life to experience depression is just not true. Depression affects people from all walks of life and backgrounds.

While things like discrimination, poverty, violence, and abuse can make a person more likely to experience depression, there is no checklist to determine who has a right to experience depression OR who is deserving of help and support.

Guilt is a normal feeling associated with depression. Its easy to spiral because youre focused on guilt. You feel guilty for having depression , which makes you feel worse. Then because you feel like more of a burden, you feel guiltier.

It is not your fault that you are having this experience. Most peopleand anyone who has experienced depressionwill understand that no one would choose this or just decide its better to be depressed. Its understandable, given the way most of us have been taught to think about mental health, that you might have this reaction. But know that you are not at fault, have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed of, and deserve support and recovery.

Also Check: How Can Depression Be Treated