Avoid Making Big Decisions
Going through a breakup is an emotional upheaval, so Leanne advises postponing big life changes until you feel calm and clear.
âThis isnât a good time to be making big decisions,â she says. âIt can be tempting to make drastic changes in an attempt to regain a sense of control over how you feel. Cutting your hair is one thing, but moving cities or changing jobs is another. Let things settle down before you start changing your life.â
What To Do When Youre Depressed After A Breakup
When youre feeling depressed after a breakup, you have to begin by doing some introspection. Go ahead and grab a pen and paper, and begin writing down the elements of your personal life that got put on the back burner while you were in this relationship.
Did you stop spending time with your friends and family? Did you lose sight of your professional goals? Did you put hobbies aside? Start thinking about what kind of elements you can start to reintroduce into your life so that you can fill up your schedule with things that bring you joy.
It is crucial to start getting busy, even if the temptation to stay home on your couch is pretty big. Getting yourself out of your comfort zone and giving yourself new, exciting challenges can change everything.
Youre going to start feeling better about yourself and whats more, your new, positive energy is going to start attracting others like moths to a flame.
Another powerful tool for getting out of depression after a breakup is physical exercise. Not only is it going to boost your self confidence because youll start seeing positive changes its going to boost your energy and your mood because youll be releasing endorphins and serotonin.
What Is The Outlook For Depression After A Breakup
Despite the rollercoaster ride of a breakup, its possible to heal and overcome mental anguish. The outlook is positive with treatment, but its important that you dont ignore prolonged negative feelings and sadness. The healing process varies for each person. But with the help of friends, family, and maybe a doctor, you can overcome depression and move on after a relationship ends.
If you think someone is at immediate risk of self-harm or hurting another person:
- Stay with the person until help arrives.
- Remove any guns, knives, medications, or other things that may cause harm.
- Listen, but dont judge, argue, threaten, or yell.
If you think someone is considering suicide, get help from a crisis or suicide prevention hotline. Try the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.
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Dont Overeat To Forget
Its one of the very first things people think to do after a breakup whip out the Chinese takeaway and spend all day indoors, gorging on all kinds of unhealthy food. However, it has been proven that bad nutrition can also have a detrimental effect on your mental health.
So as tempting as it is to stay at home all day and eat a tub of ice cream like Bridget Jones, make an effort to eat healthy because it will do wonders for your disposition. Eating healthy also helps you to avoid depression.
Your Sleep Patterns May Be Disrupted Post Break Up
Going through a breakup can mess up your sleep patterns. Maybe youre sleeping more than you did before, or youre not sleeping enough. Maybe youre used to sharing a bed with your partner his absence makes it even harder to sleep. If your nervous system is stressed, you have high levels of cortisol in your system, and youre lonelysleep may not be your companion. And this becomes a vicious cycle: if you cant sleep, you feel stressed. This increased stress leads to less sleep, which drives up your stress even further.
And finally, people who have gone through a divorce are more likely to suffer from mobility issues, such as difficulty climbing stairs or walking short distances. The stress from a breakup can also cause muscle spasms and tightness throughout your body. All of this combines to increase breakup depression, anxiety, and even fear.
A list of all the bad things your body is going through at the end of your relationship isnt exactly what you expected when you searched for how to overcome depression after a breakup, is it? But its important that you know that you experiencing the normal depressed feelings and physical symptoms post break up. Knowing how your body is responding to the shock, anxiety, and depression of a break up will help you recover better and faster.
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Some Of The Symptoms Of Heartbreak
Heartbreak might make you feel mildly sad, or you might find yourself devastated after a breakup. Whats more, some people might experience these feelings for a short amount of time, and others can last a lot longer. Although scientists still debate over the why, its agreed that heartbreak can cause physical pain as well as emotional pain, and have other effects on your health.
While its healthy to mourn and process the loss of a person, its also important we dont slip into a space where we isolate ourselves and become consumed by depression and anxiety.
Sometimes people who experience heartache might:
- Find their weight fluctuates higher or lower
- Feel a lack of motivation
- Notice changes in appetite
- Withdraw from friends and family
- Experience sadness
- Fatigued or struggle with your energy levels
- Thoughts of harming yourself, suicide, or death
Grief is a normal part of a breakup, but there may also be loneliness, lack of self-esteem or confidence, and emotional distress. If youre experiencing heartbreak as the result of a breakup, try not to isolate yourself from friends and family, and keep talking to those around you, be kind to yourself and dont judge yourself harshly for the way your relationship went.
Read more about how to improve your mental health during heartache, here.
Signs Of Depression After A Breakup
Post-breakup depression can range in severity from brief periods of sadness to full-blown clinical depression.
It is normal to feel emotions like sadness, anger, and anxiety after a breakup. Still, if these feelings are persistent and lead to extreme sadness, you may be showing signs of depression after a breakup.
According to experts, research has shown that the emotions after a breakup are similar to symptoms of clinical depression. In some cases, a therapist or psychologist may diagnose an adjustment disorder, sometimes called situational depression, when someone is suffering from post-relationship depression.
For example, someone who experiences depression after a breakup may meet the criteria for an adjustment disorder with a depressed mood. Some signs of this condition are as follows:
- Experiencing changing emotions and behaviors within three months of a breakup
- Suffering from emotions after a breakup that interferes with daily life
- Feeling sad
- Tearfulness
- Failing to enjoy things that once made you happy
While the above signs of depression after a breakup are associated with an adjustment disorder, some people who are feeling depressed after a breakup may have clinical depression. Signs of clinical depression include:
- Feeling hopeless or helpless
- Having little energy
- Thinking about suicide
To meet the criteria for clinical depression, you must show at least five symptoms of depression after a breakup. Symptoms must also occur for a period of at least two weeks.
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Why Breakups Are Hard
Romantic love can be like a drug. It triggers the release of âfeel goodâ chemicals in your brain. Losing it in a breakup can cause emotional and physical problems, like anxiety and tiredness.
Emotional stress can also send out a rush of stress hormones that make you feel like youâre having a heart attack. Thatâs called broken heart syndrome.
And sometimes your identity gets wrapped up in the âweâ of your relationship. That means a breakup can disrupt how you think about yourself. You might feel uneasy as you adjust to your new self-concept.
Some other common symptoms after a breakup include:
- Loneliness
A breakup tends to cause more distress in certain situations. That includes:
- You donât expect it.
- You are very committed.
- You feel rejected or betrayed.
- Youâre a teenager or young adult.
- Youâre a woman.
/7delete Your Ex On Social Media
When you continue to look at someone on social media after a breakup, you are investing in someone whos not invested in you. The best thing to do once someone is out of your physical life is to get them out of your digital life as well. Thus, delete, unfollow, or block – whatever suits you the best.
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Surround Yourself With Supporters
Leanne recommends finding new routines and setting some fresh goals. âMaybe youâve always wanted to do a cooking course or perhaps youâve always wanted to visit a certain place. Ask a friend or family member to do this with you,â she suggests.
âStart creating new memories and experiences. See these as opportunities to be around people who care about you. This will help you rebuild your confidence.â
The Physical Effects Of A Breakup On Your Body
What did you feel in your stomach, guts, and head when you first broke up? If your heart dropped into your stomach and you felt physical pain, then youre 100% normal. Thats exactly what heartbreak does. A study in the Journal of Neurophysiology revealed that broken hearts actually cause physical pain that stomach drop, a headache, nausea, and full-body aches.
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Tools For Dealing With Depression And Breakups
There are two tools that I would like to share with you today, because I know youre looking for some techniques to help you get to the other side of this period ASAP!
The first is one that youve heard about already but may not be in the habit of practicing, and the second one is a tool that you may not have heard about even though its very powerful.
People Share How They Coped With Depression After A Breakup
Breakups affect everyone differently. Not everyone bounces back with finesse and a newly optimistic outlook on life. Sometimes its the complete opposite. Sometimes we shut down and close off. Sometimes we have ill-natured thoughts of our ex and of ourselves, or feel hopeless and unworthy of love .
It can be a very dark place, but having faith in our ability to pull ourselves out of depression is a powerful antidote. Is does get better, but it starts with finding love for yourself and being proactive in taking the steps you need to mend. Today weve rounded up some of our favorite stories from people whove fallen to the breaking point and made it back.
Going To Meetups
There were nights I woke up screaming and days where I wished that the plane would crash, that I would die in my sleep, that I would get in a terrible car accidentDepression really is like living under a rock. Everything is dark. There is no light at the end of the tunnel, and it really is a crippling sensation. Sleep is perhaps the only relief, but even thats temporary.
Clarissa shares how she became tired of being depressed and how she used Meet Up to pull herself out of it.
Having Affirmations
When Im feeling anxious, insecure, and upset, Im experiencing a drop in my brains dopamine and serotonin levels. These drops undermine my feelings of optimism and confidence, and drive me to seek out the false reward of reassurance and closeness with my ex-lover.
Creating A 30-Day Bucket List
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Phase: Im Good With Me
How it feels: At this point in your breakup journey, youve worked through the hurt and feel stronger and seriously better about yourself. With some time, self-care and acceptance, youve developed greater self-esteem and regained your confidence and optimism.
What to watch for: Youre on the right track! You proactively do healthy things, date with a better sense of whats right for you, and nurture your relationships with friends and family.
What you need to know: See what a difference self-acceptance can make! Feeling good and self-assured can radiate out, leading to better relationships with yourself and others. Take time to appreciate yourself, continue to reflect, embark on and grow on your own personal journey.
Ways To Overcome Post Break Up Depression
We were build for companionship, so feeling depressed post break up is not only normalits healthy. Give yourself time to grieve the end of your relationship. Dont rush it. We were programmed to protect the relationships valuable to us, and your grieving process is your way of letting go and healing.
You lost an important relationship in your life even if it wasnt healthy and its not easy to just get over it. The more valuable the relationship was to you, the more dramatic your grieving process will be. Youll experience most if not all of the emotions in the above list including breakup depression.
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Feeling Depressed After A Breakup Is A Horrible Feeling
What we want more than anything is to move on and stop the pain NOW.
Unfortunately, it most often isnt possible because grief, and the depression that accompanies it, is usually the first part of the healing process. Luckily, grief is only the first step and that there is hope for your future.
So, embrace your grief, feel it and release it. Take care of yourself, do things that make you happy, stay off social media and get yourself out there.
When you are ready, sooner than later I hope, you can let go of your love and reach out for a new one yourself.
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Spotting The Signs Of Post
Going through a breakup is generally an upsetting life event. It makes complete sense to feel sad, angry, and bewildered. Whether you were the one who ended it or the one who was left, ending a relationship affects each party involved. However, in some cases, typical emotions can become harmful.
Depression is a mental illness that sometimes gets triggered by breakups. If you suspect that youre experiencing post-breakup depression, reach out to a psychologist in Toronto. Learn more about how to spot post-breakup depression below.
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Being Depressed After A Breakup Because Of Insecurities
Another culprit behind this feeling is a persons insecurities. When a breakup occurs, people often feel terrified that they only way for them to be happy is to be with this person. They feel that they arent enough to keep themselves happy.
This is dangerous of course because we begin flirting with emotional dependency, which is something we need to ward off if we want to be happy in our own personal lives and in relationships.There are so many clients that I work with who are dealing with a breakup and depression who cant seem to see the potential that they have.
My goal is always to help you remember how much you actually bring to the table and remind you that a breakup does not take away from your self worth. If anything, it should serve as a catalyst for you to focus on rebuilding your self confidence.
Simply put, when you remember that you are fantastic and you have a lot to offer, your behavior will shift and you become more attractive. And Im not just talking about in terms of your ex I mean this is the type of attitude that attracts people in general like moths to a flame.
By reinforcing your self esteem and confidence you no longer feel the sense of desperation. On top of that, it can stamp out needy or clingy behavior. When you start to feel better about yourself, you will start to feel more in control of the situation, and you will stop feeling so depressed after a breakup.
Moving Forward: How To Treat Adjustment Disorders And Depression After A Breakup
The most recent research finds that psychotherapy is the treatment of choice for adjustment disorders, and thats what worked for DePino. Mayo Clinic adds that medication can be helpful in the short-term. For me, medication helped me find some distance from the grief, and get back to my life.
I also did quite a bit of walking in the woods, crying in my car without restraint, and, perhaps all too predictably, I had a fling with a hot mess bartender . But it took so much more than I imagined to feel free again: time, therapy, a two-month stint on antidepressants to cope with the adjustment disorder . In the worst of times, I truly wondered if I would always be battling. I felt like the breakup had cracked me open and poured out a dark part of me that I had never known was there. And for a while, it had. But, while I might always struggle with my anxiety, my mental health crisis was largely situational. Like my psychiatrist had anticipated, it healed over, and wouldnt require long-term treatment.
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How To Tell If Youre Depressed
Itâs common to feel crummy for a while after a breakup. But major depressive disorder, or clinical depression, is different than normal sadness. Itâs constant, lasts at least 2 weeks, and can affect all aspects of your life. Stressful life events, like a breakup, can trigger depression. But itâs possible to have depression-like symptoms without having a mood disorder. Itâs important to know what symptoms to look for.
To have clinical depression, you need to have several of the following:
- Ongoing sadness or worry
- Thoughts of death or suicide