Sunday, June 16, 2024

My Son Is Depressed And Refuses Help

How Can You Help Your Loved One Get Help

How to Help Someone Who is Depressed

1) Treat them as an adult. Although I was not a child psychologist and didn’t think I knew how to relate to them, I often found that children liked to see me. Eventually I came to the conclusion the reason children liked me was because I treated them as I would an adult. I listened to them, asked what they wanted, and I didn’t tell them what to do but asked if they wanted me to help. Then I gave them control over the options: We could do this or this. What do you think? This is especially important when helping young adults. They need to develop a sense of self-efficacythe belief that they have the ability to make a difference in their lives. The way to do this is to respect how they feel and think and their ability to make choices.

3) Respect differences. All lives are different and we can’t expect that someone should pursue the path we think is best. When my son was a teenager and played chess in tournaments I noticed that a number of the adult players lived in their cars and traveled from tournament to tournament to make a few bucks. I said to my son, I guess if that is what made you happy in life, I would be okay with it. He responded, It’s really hard to have a girlfriend living that way. But my point is that we can’t presume to know what is best for different people and we need to respect their life choices.

Eating And Sleeping Well

Eating nutritious meals and getting the right amount of sleep are enormously beneficial in treating depression. The optimum amount of sleep that young people need is 7.5 hours a night. Help your child to establish regular sleep patterns during the week and at weekends, and build up habits that are going to help them sleep better.

Remember: if your child is depressed, they are likely to experience lethargy and low motivation. So, if they wont engage in positive lifestyle changes initially, be patient and try to find ways to make it as easy for them as possible.

Check out some more self-help strategies at Your teen can also find stories about the experiences of depression in other young people. This can be a really positive way of managing depression, as your child wont feel so isolated and alone.

Tips For Helping A Depressed Teen

If you are concerned that your teen may be depressed, but they appear uninterested in getting help or perhaps outright refuse it, there are steps that you can take to help them. Proceed with gentle but firm methods to persuade your teen to get help. These varied approaches have all been effective in helping depressed teens move forward.

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Family And Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

My 27 yr old son has had a second baker act and just got out after 72 hours. First time they kept him in for 1 week. He refuses to admit there is a problem and thinks they we just want to ruin his life. He does not realize that he is ruining his life and is so paranoid, that it has consumed him. He has refused seeing a psychologist, psychiatrist or take medicine. This is devastating the entire family. We are so afraid of him running away and never seeing him again. Please help give advice. We dont even have a diagnosis. Its not drugs or alcohol. This was a young man that was on top academically. He was the sweetest, kindest, compassionate person and now Im not sure who he is. Our hearts are breaking!

My son is 27 too, and while hes been ill since he was 15 and had some insight, hes now thinking hes not ill, doesnt need help, etc.

He just came home from his first stay in the hospital on an involuntary hold . My biggest fear is him becoming homeless and untreated, so I know how it feels to think about that before you act or speak.

I bought a book that lots of people recommend called Im not sick, I dont need help by Doctor Amador. Im still wrapping my head around it, but its meant to help people who are have a family member just like yours & mine. I got my copy from Amazon – its not too long, so it doesnt take long to read, but I think it takes a lot of practice to get right. But, the way I look at it, I might as well start.

Good afternoon

Reasons People Are Reluctant To Get Help

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First, you need to try and discern the reason your loved one does not pursue getting help. You may not be able to get an answer directly from your loved one because asking the question Why won’t you seek help? may create further resistance.

Therefore, you need to try and determine what the reason may be. The best way to do this is to listen to the concerns of your loved one. Use active listening methods to help you further understand. Active listening involves rephrasing what they say so they know you are listening which usually helps further the conversation. So, when you are around other people you feel intense anxiety which is very painful or Depression feels like dragging a sack of rocks behind youalthough you want to do things it saps your energy.

When you engage in active listening, it is best to stay away from questions because questions, especially why questions, feel like accusations to others. However, with careful phrasing it is possible to ask how, when, and what questions. When do you feel like that? or Do you know what seems to trigger those feelings?

Once you have some idea of the possible reasons, you may be able to determine some means to encourage your family member to seek help. The following is a list of common reasons people may resist seeking help:


Also Check: Recurrent Major Depressive Disorder In Partial Remission

Why Do Family Members Resist Your Help

Frequently, I have found when providing therapy, my clients have already been told by their family members the very things they learn from me. So why are they able to listen to me and not to their family? Most of the time people believe the reason is due to privacy concernsa person doesn’t want to share problems with a family member who might be involved. Usually, however, the reason a person can listen to a therapist is related to several issues: emotional involvement, approach, and understanding mental illness. The concern about privacy is more likely due to these other factors.

1) Emotional involvement. The closer a person is to a situation, the more desperate they become to change the situation. Many family members see mental illness as life-threatening, sometimes literally due to the possibility of suicide, drug overdose, or living in a dangerous situation. For some, though, the threat may not be as literal but may be the fear of their family member not being able to support themselves or live a satisfying life.

When a person is desperate, they become more demanding: You can’t keep living this way. You’ve got to get some help! When heard by the person with mental illness, such statements of desperation sound like condemnations and blame: You’re choosing to live this way or You’re not capable of managing your life.

Depression Is The Deadliest Disease Of Childhood

Depression and its worst risk, suicide, are serious and common problems in children and teens. Suicide is the second leading cause of death in U.S. teens, resulting in more deaths than from cancer or any other disease or illness.

In addition to deaths by suicide, depression can cause progressively worsening brain changes, according to new research. And yet, even after a trained mental health professional diagnoses a child with depression, some parents refuse treatment. This can occur despite these teens wanting and asking for treatment.

Some do not want their children to take antidepressants. Antidepressants carry the FDA black-box label warning on thoughts of suicide in young people. But the consensus in the field is that benefits outweigh risks with careful monitoring. Also, a recent study reported the clinical trials used to form the FDA black-box warning excluded patients who were already at significant risk of suicide, which means this risk-benefit analysis was formed without patients who were the most depressed and at the most risk. Evidence-based psychotherapy also treats depression, but some families dont commit the time or resources to ensure their children have frequent appointments.

In most states, teens under 18 require a parents permission to receive treatment for depression. There are some exceptions, but in most cases, a child cannot get treatment on their own.

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Resist The Urge To Fix Or Give Advice

There is a time for adviceand that comes when someones ask for it. If they havent asked, lean towards support. There are times when you might even agree with them: Yes, this mental illness sucks, but medication sucks too. Once you give people the space to feel heard, their defenses go down and they are more open to a conversation.

Emerging Trends In Substance Misuse:

How Do I Help My Son with his Depression?
  • MethamphetamineIn 2019, NSDUH data show that approximately 2 million people used methamphetamine in the past year. Approximately 1 million people had a methamphetamine use disorder, which was higher than the percentage in 2016, but similar to the percentages in 2015 and 2018. The National Institute on Drug Abuse Data shows that overdose death rates involving methamphetamine have quadrupled from 2011 to 2017. Frequent meth use is associated with mood disturbances, hallucinations, and paranoia.
  • CocaineIn 2019, NSDUH data show an estimated 5.5 million people aged 12 or older were past users of cocaine, including about 778,000 users of crack. The CDC reports that overdose deaths involving have increased by one-third from 2016 to 2017. In the short term, cocaine use can result in increased blood pressure, restlessness, and irritability. In the long term, severe medical complications of cocaine use include heart attacks, seizures, and abdominal pain.
  • KratomIn 2019, NSDUH data show that about 825,000 people had used Kratom in the past month. Kratom is a tropical plant that grows naturally in Southeast Asia with leaves that can have psychotropic effects by affecting opioid brain receptors. It is currently unregulated and has risk of abuse and dependence. The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that health effects of Kratom can include nausea, itching, seizures, and hallucinations.


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How Can I Help An Adult Child With Major Depression

It can be very painful to watch your child struggle with major depression issues. While it is difficult to watch a young child have this mental illness, a minor can be forced into treatment against his or her will. An adult child may have just as many problems, if not more, and you can do very little to help them short of finding a judge to commit them against their will. So if you can’t force them, what can you do instead? Here are some suggestions:

Come from Their SideIf you want to help your child at all, you need to be on their side and not against it. Instead of letting them know what’s wrong with them, talk to them instead about how their action or situation must be painful for them. Don’t offer solutions, but ask how they are going to solve their issues or get through the pain of something. Encourage them to solve problems, but don’t offer advice until they ask you. Even then, make sure to offer a few things that they could do, but don’t tell them what they should do.

Solstice East Can Help

Solstice East is a residential treatment center for young women ages 14-18 struggling with behavior and emotional issues such as those that can stem from peer-relationship struggles. This program focuses on helping young women heal, recover, and integrate healthy habits into their lives. Students will learn to build healthy relationships, cope with emotions, and effectively communicate. Solstice East gives young women the skills and confidence they need to lead happy and healthy lives. We can help your family today!


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Give Them Helpful Resources

In this post I wrote about three things you could do to build a bit of a safety net for your kids mental health: Tell your teenager youd gladly get them help if they wanted it plan for challenging experiences in your teens life and teach them how to help their friends who may have mental health challenges.

Here are a few more resources you can email or text your kids if you see theyre struggling, but wont get help.

  • Big White Wall is an online platform for teenagers to get peer-to-peer support. Its anonymous and offers 24-hour support, 7 days a week with clinically managed forums. Kids must be 16 years old to register.
  • Wellness and Emotional Support for Youth Online offers free online counselling for Ontario-based kids ages 13 24. There are no fees, which means your teenager can access a professional counsellor without your involvement, which may be exactly what they want.
  • Kids Help Phone is another 24/7 online support service, accessible by phone, text, and live chat. Unlike Big White Wall, there are no age restrictions and while your kids probably know about it, it cant hurt to remind them its there if they need it.
  • Further Reading:

    What If They Believe Things That Seem Very Unusual Or Scary To Me

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    If someone is experiencing reality in a very different way from people around them, they may not realise or agree that seeking help could be useful for them. They may be experiencing psychosis, mania, hearing voices or feeling very paranoid. In this case, it can also be helpful to:

    • Focus on how their beliefs are making them feel , as these feelings will be very real.
    • Avoid confirming or denying their beliefs. Instead it can help to say something like “I understand that you see things that way, but it’s not like that for me.”

    There are a lot of misunderstandings about what it means to experience psychosis. Lots of people wrongly think that the word ‘psychotic’ means ‘dangerous’. But it’s important to remember that in reality, very few people who experience psychosis ever hurt anyone else.

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    My Son Is Depressed And I Don’t Know How To Help Him

    My 22-year-old son was recently was diagnosed with clinical depression. He is always sad and fatigued. This has been going on for about the past six months. He is seeing a therapist once a week, but he always seems spaced out and very quiet. I am a hyper and outgoing person, and I am very worried that I don’t know how to communicate with him. I live in fear I may say something to hurt him, and I need advice about how to deal with all these issues it’s very scary and frustrating.

    When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments which appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.

    If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.

    How To Support Adult Children Struggling With Mental Health

    Expert advice on how to gently offer help and compassion.

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    Katie Bradeen of Colorado Springs, Colo., began to worry about her 20-year-old son, Ryan, when he came home for Christmas break of 2020. She said he had a gray demeanor and he seemed to be in slow motion.

    Though Mr. Bradeen was on campus for his sophomore year of college, the social distancing and virtual classes during the pandemic were challenging, especially for him as a theater major. The winter of 2021 was even more difficult and excruciating than the fall 2020 semester, he said.

    His mother didnt think hed be open to a face-to face conversation, so she left a note on his pillow, written on pink heart stationery. She said she wouldnt pry, but was available to listen anytime he wants. Mr. Bradeen said that he had been wanting to get counseling for a while but his moms raising the issue made him feel he had the thumbs up. He started therapy early in 2021, and his mother said she can already see the difference theres more laughter and jokes, less grumpiness.

    Many parents like Ms. Bradeen were navigating the sticky territory of how to help young adults with mental health issues long before Covid-19. But the pandemic brought greater challenges, taxing already-vulnerable young adults even more.

    Read Also: Mental Hospital For Anxiety And Depression

    What Can I Do If Someone Doesn’t Want My Help

    If you feel that someone you care about is clearly struggling but can’t or won’t reach out for help, and won’t accept any help you offer, it’s understandable to feel frustrated, distressed and powerless. But it’s important to accept that they are an individual, and that there are always limits to what you can do to support another person.

    You can:

    • Be patient. You won’t always know the full story, and there may be reasons why they are finding it difficult to ask for help.
    • Offer emotional support and reassurance. Let them know you care about them and you’ll be there if they change their mind.
    • Inform them how to seek help when they’re ready .
    • Look after yourself, and make sure you don’t become unwell yourself.

    You can’t:

    • Force someone to talk to you. It can take time for someone to feel able to talk openly, and putting pressure on them to talk might make them feel less comfortable telling you about their experiences.
    • Force someone to get help . As adults, we are all ultimately responsible for making our own decisions. This includes when or if we choose to seek help when we feel unwell.
    • See a doctor for someone else. A doctor might give you general information about symptoms or diagnoses, but they won’t be able to share any specific advice or details about someone else without their agreement.

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