Tuesday, June 25, 2024

How To Deal With Your Boyfriend’s Depression

Tip : Seek Social Support

7 Signs Your Relationship is Making You Depressed

Work commitments can often make it difficult for men to find time to maintain friendships, but the first step to tackling male depression is to find people you can really connect with, face-to-face. That doesnt mean simply trading jokes with a coworker or chatting about sports with the guy sitting next to you in a bar. It means finding someone you feel comfortable sharing your feelings with, someone wholl listen to you without judging you, or telling you how you should think or feel.

You may think that discussing your feelings isnt very macho, but whether youre aware of it or not, youre already communicating your feelings to those around you youre just not using words. If youre short-tempered, drinking more than usual, or punching holes in the wall, those closest to you will know somethings wrong. Choosing to talk about what youre going through, instead, can actually help you feel better.

Ways To Cope With Your Partners Depression

When your partner is depressed, it can feel like your world is falling apart. You may struggle to understand why the person you love is suddenly different, and you likely want to know what brought this drastic change on and how to fix it. During an episode of depression you may feel helpless, overwhelmed, and in pain. You might want to lean on your partner for support but know that they wont be able to provide what you need.

The harmful effects of depression dont stop with your partner. They affect every aspect of your partners life and, most importantly, you. Your partner may withdraw from you or feel like a burden. However, depression does not mean that your relationship is broken. Your relationship can improve. Heres how.

My Depressed Boyfriend Partner Is Pushing Me Away: Try This

Having a boyfriend who is depressed and pushing you away can be hard on your self-esteem. Even though deep down you know your partner’s illness is not your fault, it’s difficult not to wonder if it’s you or them when someone doesn’t want your help especially when that person is someone you love. If you find yourself in this predicament, you’re probably wondering what to do. Should you let him withdraw from you and assume that’s what he needs, or should you try to help, despite his protestations? Having a boyfriend who is depressed and pushing you away is no walk in the park, but there are some ways to make it easier on yourself.

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Create A Supportive Home Environment

Always remember that no one is to blame for your partners depression. You cant solve anything, but you can help your partner through it.

Changing ones way of life may significantly impact ones recovery. Depressed people may struggle to make good decisions since their energy, sleep, and appetite are affected by despair.

Little Gestures Go A Long Way

 How To Deal With Partner Who Has Depression

When depressed, the smallest of tasks can seem like an enormous challenge. Even getting out of bed can seem unachievable, explains Smithies.

Top tip: its easy to get caught up in helping your boyfriend with big gestures, but you shouldnt underestimate everyday tasks. Even something like making dinner will take a huge amount of weight from his shoulders, the CEO says.

Encouraging him to engage with these tasks is important too, but dont be resentful if he doesnt react, he advises.

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Depression Is Not Other People’s Responsibility

Depression is not anyone’s fault, but we are all responsible for our own actions at the end of the day. Considering this, it is essential to keep in mind what you can actually affect.

Your partner is the primary agent in the path to accepting his diagnosis, understanding and setting boundaries to limit the consequences of his actions, and ultimately accessing treatment. You can help him along the way, but you will not be able to do it for him.

How It All Started

When my boyfriend of two years started to get a bit emotional, I told him it was hormones, or the stress of exams, and I said I would hold his hand whenever he felt sad. One Sunday about a month later, I was sitting at home watching the telly when he called and asked to come over. Thinking he was just a bit down, I said: Of course! I’ll meet you at the train station.

An hour later, when I met him, I wished I had a car. I practically had to carry him home, as he was sobbing in my arms. I was unbelievably confused. This was my boyfriend, the guy who cuddles me when I cry, and is always tough and strong and manly. Yet, here he was, as small and sad as a lost kitten, crying his eyes out because he had an argument with one of his friends. He hates me, they all hate me, I hate me, he kept saying. To me, he was perfect funny, smart, kind and caring. One of the best people I knew. It was so hard to sit and watch him say all these things about himself that I knew werent true. I tried for weeks to convince him otherwise, but he refused to listen to a word I said.

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How To Stop Overthinking In A Relationship

Ways to stop overthinking include:

  • Being aware that you are over thinking.
  • Being mindful of the type of irrational beliefs you are holding on to or the assumptions you are making them.
  • Challenge these thoughts by building trust or even communicating these thoughts to them.
  • Develop awareness about your needs, work with your partner to meet these needs,
  • Be present with the now instead of worrying about what could go wrong, celebrate what is good right now.

Dont Make It A Big Deal

How To Cope With Depression

The fact that your boyfriend has depression isnt the only thing in both of your lives. It should never be the focal point. Its just something he lives with. It doesnt really change who he is and what he values. So dont let it become the most significant part of your relationship.

Dont let yourself believe that his depression should define your relationship as a whole. If you want to learn how to handle your depressed boyfriend, dont make too much of a big deal of it. He has depression, but thats not everything in your relationship.

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How To Help A Boyfriend Whos Depressed: 5 Key Steps

Interestingly, more women will suffer from some form of mental health condition in their lives than men one in every five, as opposed to one in every eight but sadly, far more men take their own lives as a result of said mental illnesses.

According to the Office for National Statistics, three in four suicides in the UK are carried out by men, making suicide the largest cause of death for men under 35.

So, weve asked Nathaniel Smithies, Founder and CEO of PlusGuidance, an online counselling service, for some tips on how to help your partner through a difficult time.

Seeing your loved one struggle with their mental health can leave you at a loss as to what to do and how to help, Smithies explains. Your boyfriend may feel distant, uninterested and at times even agitated, but you mustnt put too much pressure or blame on yourself for how hes feeling. Equally, you mustnt blame him for how hes feeling, either, he continues.

Like helping someone whos suicidal or talking to any loved one whos struggling, its a process that will affect you and your general wellbeing, too, so remember, practicing self care is key to being able to support others.

Keep reading for some simple steps you can take to help a boyfriend if hes depressed. And remember you are not alone.

The Literature On What To Do Can Feel A Little Cloudy Heres How To Be Supportive And Be Supported If Your Partner Or Spouse Has Depression

No one teaches us how to navigate a relationship when mental illness or depression enters the equation.

I recently read a Washington Post article by a woman whose relationship was torn apart while she and her partner tried to deal with his depression.

My personal take is the author simply wasnt equipped to deal with a partner coping with depression. Most of us arent.

Last year when I plunged into a depressive episode during our relationship, my partner was at a loss. He had never dealt with this and wanted so badly to help, but had no idea what to do. He was left wondering, How can you help a depressed partner or spouse?

We went looking for books and found there was little out there, and what currently does exist approaches the topic in a you vs. your partner and their depression way. We werent comfortable with that, and set out to find a different way to do ita way that would give him insight into my experience and allow him to support me, while giving him what he needed as well.

Our experiment worked!

Sure we hit bumps along the road, but in the end I felt loved, supported, and understood in a way I never had before during a depressive episode, and he felt like he knew what was going ona big deal in this situationand was equipped to deal with it.

Our experience inspired this list of five ways to grow together rather than apart when navigating through a relationships depressive episodes with your partner:

Read Also: Mindfulness For Teen Depression A Workbook For Improving Your Mood

My Depressed Boyfriend Is Pushing Me Away

As a BetterHelp affiliate, we may receive compensation from BetterHelp if you purchase products or services through the links provided

If your current partner is dealing with depression and is pushing you away, there are a few things you can do to help yourself, your partner, and the relationship. Some of these things include:

  • Educating yourself
  • Being mindful of your thoughts and feelings
  • Respecting boundaries
  • Talking to someone about it

It can be frustrating and confusing when we find our partners pushing us away. This response can be hurtful and you might not be able to understand why- even when they make the effort to explain it to us.

We have to remember that everyone, including yourself, experiences trying times. During those moments in our lives, we might seek support from the ones closest to us. However, people with depression often choose the opposite reaction.

They may have various reasons as to why they choose to shut us out when they are having an especially trying day or an depressive episode. You have to understand that this is a defense mechanism to protect themselves

Let us take a deeper look as to why people with depression withdraw from others and what we as their partner can do about it to help yourself, them, and the relationship.

Buffer Stress By Making Space For Yourself

Depression in Relationships: Coping with a Depressed Spouse, Boyfriend ...

Because depression can feel like a third person in the relationship, you might need a healthy amount of space. This can alleviate the irritability issue mentioned earlier.

Ava Strong, who has dated a man with depression, recommended partners practice healthy boundaries and self-love. This means protecting your mental health by giving yourself space when you feel it is at risk, which brings us to the next piece of advice.

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Feeling Like A Burden

If only people could read minds, you could save your depressed boyfriend from overthinking. The truth is, when life gets us down, its normal to have thoughts such as feeling like a burden to someone.

But, please do help him remember that theres always a solution to any problem. We have to stay positive and go on with our lives without overthinking.

What Do You Do When Your Boyfriend Is Sad And Distant

If you are looking for ways to help your partner who is sad and struggle with some personal issues, some of the things you can do to be supportive include:

  • Being gentle with your words, behaviour, and attempts to help him express himself.
  • Dont overthink things, rather choose to ask him to talk about it when he is ready.
  • Respect their feelings, no matter how irrational it might seem. Give him a safe space to talk about his feelings, acknowledge them, and help him express them.
  • Little gestures go a long way. This could be simply listening to him, buying him his favorite snacks, spending time with him without expecting anything in return. If it does you good to give at a time when your partner is unable to do the same for you, go for it.
  • Remind him that help is out there by encouraging him- even educating him about seeking professional help.

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What To Do When Your Boyfriend Is Depressed

What should you do when your boyfriend is depressed? Dating someone with depression can be challenging, and studies show that men find it more difficult to come out about their mental health issues than women. Although maintaining a relationship when your boyfriend has depression is not that different to dating someone without a mental illness, at times, protecting your own mental health can seem like a struggle. By understanding the common issues depression throws up and knowing how to respond, you can support the man you love without threatening your mental wellbeing. Here’s what to do if your boyfriend is depressed.

What Is Anxiety And Depression

How to Spot Severe Depression vs Feeling Depressed

Anxiety is a feeling of nervousness, fear, and apprehension. Depression is a mood disorder that causes feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and emptiness. People with anxiety or depression may experience physical symptoms such as restlessness, headaches, and trouble sleeping.

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to how to deal with anxiety and depression at the same time, but there are some tips that can help. Here are three tips:

  • Talk to your doctor. If you think you may have anxiety or depression, talk to your doctor. He or she can help you determine if you have an illness and provide you with the best treatment options.
  • Seek support. There is support available for people who suffer from anxiety and depression. Find a community that you feel comfortable joining and talk to members about your experiences. You might also want to consider talking therapy or medication therapy.
  • Stay active and healthy. Exercise has been shown to be helpful for reducing symptoms, so make time for it each day. Additionally, maintain a healthy diet that includes plenty of fruits and vegetables to boost your moods
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    Signs Your Partner Is Dealing With Depression

    Looking for early signs of depression in your partner canfeel like a game of Wheres Waldo? subtle clues are often hidden in the backgroundnoise of the daily grind.

    Thats where proximity comesinto play. You see this person on a daily, if not hourly basis, so you have to beaware of small changes that take place over time, Dr. Borland explains. Theseare things that youll recognize and say, Hmm, that seems out of character.

    Signs of depression in yourpartner might include changes in:

    • Communication:Are they pulling away from you? Or do they seem more on edge?
    • Substance use:Have they increased their alcohol intake? Are they experimenting with illicitsubstances?
    • Mood:Are they more irritable than normal? Are they crying a lot?
    • Sleep:Are they sleeping more, or less, than usual?

    Accept That There Will Be Bad Days

    People with depression have good days and bad days. To deal with the bad days:

    • expect that they will happen
    • understand that this is a normal part of depression
    • do not withdraw love or support during these times
    • take some time out and do something enjoyable, either alone or with others
    • remember that not every day will be like this there will be good days too

    Read Also: Clinical Depression In Young Adults

    How To Support Your Partner

    Learning about depression can go a long way towards helping you to deal with a depressed partner. It will give you a lot of insight into their experience.

    Their depression can seriously impact your relationship. However, understanding where theyre coming from can help a lot as you deal with a depressed partner.

    What your partner needs to feel supported can vary a lot from person to person.

    Understanding Whats Beyond Your Control

    5 Things No One Ever Told You About Dealing With a Depressed Partner ...

    Its possible to have a healthy relationship with someone who has depression. Remember that depression is a treatable condition, says Beurkens. It is very possible for couples to weather this and to come out on the other side.

    Its important to keep in mind, though, that their recovery and progress arent up to you. You can support them but you may not be able to make decisions for them, such as getting professional help or taking care of themselves.

    Letting go of the expectation that you can make them happy again can help you both find practical ways to navigate depression.

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    Be Supportive And Uplifting

    What your depressed boyfriend needs is support. He wants to know hes not alone and that youll still be there even if he has depression. So be supportive and uplifting when hes going through a tough time. Be the positive force in his life so he can rely on you for help when he needs it.

    The more supportive you are, the more comfortable hell be to come to you when hes struggling. Hes already going through enough with his depression, and you shouldnt add to his existing chaos.

    If youre serious about wanting to learn how to handle your depressed boyfriend, lift him up and help him find the light when hes stuck in his darkness. He needs you to be the reminder of everything good in his life, not the opposite.

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