Let Them Know That You Care
The most important thing you can do to help a friend with depression is to let them know that you care about them.
To reach out and show your support, ask if they want to talk more, thank them for talking to you, or just spend time with them when they need it the most.
You can say, I want to let you know that youre not alone in this. Im here for you and I care about you, whenever youre ready to talk about it.
How To Help Yourself While Helping Your Friend
If youre feeling overwhelmed by the stress of supporting a friend who doesnt want help, its okay to reach out for support yourself.
- Read tips on how to take care of yourself when taking care of a friend, and how to help a friend reach out for support.
- Reach out to your own support system. Talk to another friend or family member.
- Text START to 741-741 or call 1-800-273-TALK for a free, confidential conversation with a trained counselor. These counselors can support you and offer advice on how to help your friend.
- Your safety is critical. If your friend reacts angrily or violently, its important to tell someone you trust and seek outside support. If you have reason to believe that a friend is in immediate danger of harming themselves or someone else, call 9-1-1 or emergency services immediately.
Assure Them They’re Not Weak Or Defective
Those who are coping with depression tend to feel weak or that there is something wrong with them. While depression is an illness, those who live with it may feel that it’s a character flaw.
Reassure your friend that depression really is an illness caused by a biochemical imbalance in the brain, and it does not mean that they are weak. In fact, it takes a great deal of strength to fight back, so they are probably much stronger than they think they are.
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Other Sites That Can Help
www.atareira.org.nz – Support, education and information for family and whnau.Carers New Zealand – Information and support for people in caregiver roles.Mental Health Foundation – Information about mental health covering a range of topics.Small Steps – A range of simple tools you can use to manage your stress, anxiety and low mood.
Educate Yourself On Depression
You will be better able to help someone with depression if you learn more about it. There are several resources, both online and through doctors and hospitals, that can provide you with more information about what depression is, what causes it and how to help someone who has it. By understanding what depression is and how it makes you feel, you will be better able to empathize with someone who has it.
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Dont Try To Cheer Him Up Or Offer Advice
Your brother has an enviable job and two lovely children. Hes still ridiculously handsome even though he hasnt gone to the gym for six months. Its tempting to want to remind him of all these good things.
Not only is that unlikely to boost his mood, it could backfire by reinforcing his sense that you just dont get it, said Megan Devine, a psychotherapistand the author of Its O.K. That Youre Not O.K.
Your job as a support person is not to cheer people up. Its to acknowledge that it sucks right now, and their pain exists, she said.
Instead of upbeat rebuttals about why its not so bad, she recommended trying something like, It sounds like life is really overwhelming for you right now.
If you want to say something positive, focus on highlighting what he means to you, Dr. Rosenthal advised. And though offering suggestions for how to improve his life will be tempting, simply listening is better.
I Know Exactly What Youre Going Through
It is a bad idea to say this to a person who is depressed. They may feel as if you are minimizing their experience or that you have no idea what theyre going through because your circumstances were not the same.
It may be better to say things like I really hurt for you to avoid hurting the other persons feelings.
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Things To Do If Someone Is Feeling Depressed
With COVID-19 and the winter season here, the world has created the perfect depression storm. There is a high chance that someone you know is depressed, and this is beyond the occasional down day. Depression can be debilitating, even if the person you know is depressed.
Is that you who going through a hard time? Then probably youre feeling isolated and frustrated from your life choices. So, here we are sharing a few simple and effective things to do when feeling depressed in life.
There are no quick remedies for the depressing situation. Depending on life priority, problems, and personal approach, depression can be felt differently from person-to-person. Plus, What works for one person, does not necessarily work for another, indeed.
So, in this post, were going to discuss some simple suggestions to cure these down moments in life. These are general approaches to follow, to get back the confidence and belief in life.
There are 21 things you should do if your friend, loved one, or family member is depressed. Lets look at them.
Recognizing Depression Symptoms In A Loved One
Family and friends are often the first line of defense in the fight against depression. Thats why its important to understand the signs and symptoms of depression. You may notice the problem in a depressed loved one before they do, and your influence and concern can motivate them to seek help.
Be concerned if your loved one:
Doesnt seem to care about anything anymore. Has lost interest in work, sex, hobbies, and other pleasurable activities. Has withdrawn from friends, family, and other social activities.
Expresses a bleak or negative outlook on life. Is uncharacteristically sad, irritable, short-tempered, critical, or moody talks about feeling helpless or hopeless.
Frequently complains of aches and pains such as headaches, stomach problems, and back pain. Or complains of feeling tired and drained all the time.
Sleeps less than usual or oversleeps. Has become indecisive, forgetful, disorganized, and out of it.
Eats more or less than usual, and has recently gained or lost weight.
Drinks more or abuses drugs, including prescription sleeping pills and painkillers, as a way to self-medicate how theyre feeling.
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How To Talk To Someone About Depression
Sometimes it is hard to know what to say when speaking to someone about depression. You might fear that if you bring up your worries the person will get angry, feel insulted, or ignore your concerns. You may be unsure what questions to ask or how to be supportive.
If you dont know where to start, the following suggestions may help. But remember that being a compassionate listener is much more important than giving advice. You dont have to try to fix your friend or family member you just have to be a good listener. Often, the simple act of talking face to face can be an enormous help to someone suffering from depression. Encourage the depressed person to talk about their feelings, and be willing to listen without judgment.
Dont expect a single conversation to be the end of it. Depressed people tend to withdraw from others and isolate themselves. You may need to express your concern and willingness to listen over and over again. Be gentle, yet persistent.
What Risks And Complications Can Depression Cause
Having depression can cause other problems. It can affect your mental health as well as your physical health, and it may affect other areas of your life too. For example, depression may cause:
- disturbed sleep,
- difficulties with work and your hobbies,
- difficulties keeping contact with friends and families, or
- suicidal thoughts or thoughts of self-harming.
Some people might also drink more alcohol to try and relieve depression. However, as we said in the previous section above, this can actually make depression worse.
If you have any of these problems, speak to your GP.
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Spend More Time With Your Loved Ones
Your family and friends are the true support of your life. They are the ones who genuinely care for you. When you are depressed and down in life, its better to spend time with your loved ones. That helps you to come out of this low moment quicker.
Be with someone who listens to you right. Talk to them and discuss other positive aspects of life.
When youre alone, you tend to feel more depressed and frustrated, you need someone to listen to you, to give moral support. Indeed, facing such a hard situation in life is tough, but being with someone who truly cares for you, always works there.
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Pessimistic Way Of Thinking
Depression often causes an unrealistic, pessimistic way of thinking.
Words like I never do anything right can become a habitual mindset for someone who is feeling low.
When were not feeling well, we often find it hard to enjoy what were doing.
And if we think everything is going wrong, our brain can become so focused on those thoughts that, as time passes, they will turn into beliefs that become stressful to us and everyone around us.
Depression also hinders ones ability to experience pleasure from something as un-stressful as watching TV!
Unfortunately, these negative feelings intensify over time until they eventually take over because each newly added pessimistic thought reinforces previous ones in a negative cycle.
If you can, ask them to share their thoughts about these experiences.
Oftentimes, once the burdens are shared with another person, it takes away some of that weight.
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What Do I Say
Often loved ones are at a loss for what to say when they believe someone may be depressed. We often worry about interfering with or offending the individual. With so much misconception and confusion surrounding depression, many people say the wrong thing without even realizing it. However, speaking up is important, and showing that individual that you support them can be the most important factor in getting them treatment.
The best thing you can do is to show them you care. Be careful in comparing their situation to others, as this often does no good. Rather, assure them that they are not alone and that you are there for them. Remember that it is not your job to ‘fix’ your friend or loved one. Offer your ear, listen to what they have to say, even if some of it may seem irrational. Depression often leads people to view things as being worse than they are, so offering support through these struggles can mean the world to someone.
Assure them that you are there for them now, and will be there for them through the entire process. A common fear of those living with depression is that they will be alone, or that they will burden those around them. Explain to them that you care for them and you want to be there for them that you will not abandon them during their struggle and will be there when it’s over. Make sure to be patient. It can often be a long journey to recovery, but your support could make all the difference.
Look For Signs That Treatment Is Working
There are lots of little ways to tell when treatment works it will be clear in the ways that your loved one looks and acts, says Angelos Halaris, MD, PhD, a professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences and director of outpatient clinical services at the Loyola University Chicago Stritch School of Medicine.
As they improve, someone with depression may start making better eye contact with you instead of looking down to avoid eye contact due to feeling vulnerable or anxious. Other signs of improvement, according to Dr. Halaris, include:
- Smiling occasionally and having more relaxed instead of tense facial features
- Having a calmer demeanor
- Isolating less and interacting with people more
- Eating and sleeping better
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How Can I Help Someone With Depression
Depression is a serious but treatable disorder that affects millions of people, from young to old and from all walks of life. It gets in the way of everyday life, causing tremendous pain, hurting not just those suffering from it but also impacting everyone around them.
If someone you love is depressed, you may be experiencing any number of difficult emotions, including helplessness, frustration, anger, fear, guilt, and sadness. These feelings are all normal. Its not easy dealing with a friend or family members depression. And if you neglect your own health, it can become overwhelming.
That said, your companionship and support can be crucial to your loved ones recovery. You can help them to cope with depression symptoms, overcome negative thoughts, and regain their energy, optimism, and enjoyment of life. Start by learning all you can about depression and how to best talk about it with your friend or family member. But as you reach out, dont forget to look after your own emotional healthyoull need it to provide the full support your loved one needs.
Understanding depression in a friend or family member
Depression is a serious condition. Dont underestimate the seriousness of depression. Depression drains a persons energy, optimism, and motivation. Your depressed loved one cant just snap out of it by sheer force of will.
Seek Support For Symptoms Of Depression
Depression is often not recognised and can go on for months or even years if left untreated. Its important to seek support as early as possible, as the sooner a person gets treatment, the sooner they can recover.
Untreated depression can have many negative effects on a persons life, including serious relationship and family problems, difficulty finding and holding down a job, and drug and alcohol problems.
There is no one proven way that people recover from depression. However, there is a range of effective treatments and health professionals who can help people on the road to recovery.
There are also many things that people with depression can do for themselves to help them recover and stay well. The important thing is to find the right treatment and the right health professional for a persons needs.
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Signs Of Depression In Older People
The charity Age UK says that signs of depression in older people can include:
- empty fridges and cupboards
- neglected appearance
- someone showing little joy in receiving visitors
Age Scotland has a factsheet with ideas and advice on looking after your mental wellbeing.
If you are worried an older person is depressed you can advise them to call Silver Line Scotland on 0800 4 70 80 90 for free, confidential help.
Are There Other Therapies To Treat Symptoms Of Depression
There are other treatments your doctor may consider. Electroconvulsive therapy, or ECT, is a treatment option for people whose symptoms don’t get better with medicine or who have severe depression and need treatment right away.
Transcranial magnetic stimulation, or TMS, involves using a noninvasive device that is held above the head to induce the magnetic field. It targets a specific part of the brain that can trigger depression.
With vagus nerve stimulation, or VMS, a pacemaker-like device is surgically implanted under the collarbone to deliver regular impulses to the brain.
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Ways To Help A Friend With Depression Or Anxiety
If you want to be there for someone whos dealing with depression or anxiety, youre already being a great friend. It can be hard to know exactly how to help someone with depression or anxiety, and what to say to someone who’s having a rough time. Remember that each person is different, and while these tips are a guide, when helping a friend with depression or anxiety, its important to talk with your friend about what they feel they need.
What To Say When Someone Is Depressed Or Anxious
You could start the conversation by asking questions such as: It seems like things have been hard for you lately. Whats on your mind? and: What can I do to help?
Something Ive learnt is to ask sincere, open-ended questions like, How does this feel? So the other person can feel supported, comforted and safe, rather than being told what to do. ayrc_1904
When you want to bring up a sensitive issue with a friend, try to choose a time and place when youre both comfortable, relaxed and theres some privacy. Dont push them if they dont want to talk, and be there for them if they become upset. You might not have an answer or a solution, but just being there to listen can be super helpful.
It might be difficult for your friend to accept your help continue to check in with them and let them know that you care about them, and that youre there for them if they need you.
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What To Do If Someone Is Suicidal
If you discover a person is suicidal, dont keep the information secret, even if you were asked not to tell. You can let them know that plans for suicide are far too serious to be kept secret.
If the threat of self-harm is imminent, you should call emergency services immediately. If the suicide plan is for the future or still theoretical, then offer to help them make an appointment with a mental health professional. Find the appropriate suicide hotline numbers, and offer to sit with them if they want to call one.
Finally, try to organise a support network. For example, what friends and family will be willing to call or visit this person? Is there someone else they might like to confide in?