We Can Find Help For You
In many cases, being depressed or suicidal is a case of mental and emotional overload. This just means that the coping mechanism of a person can no longer handle the problems or stressors in life. You, as someone who is detached from the personâs problems and emotions, can help look for professional help or create a more effective support system. Let the person know you want to help so he/she wonât feel so helpless.
Youre Just Being Selfish
Depression has nothing to do with being selfish or self-centered. A kind, giving person can have depression.
Depression can often be an isolating condition, with a visible symptom of withdrwal. Selfishness is putting yourself before all else withdrawal is to srhink back and therefore deny yourself before all else this is why depression intervention involves support.
What Not To Say: You Dont Look Depressed
The fact that people genuinely believe depression has a look is almost laughable. People assume that when suffering with depression, you walk around with a permanent sad face. There is no specific way to look depressed, and dont buy into the cliché that people with depression are always a sobbing mess who cant get out of bed. In fact, people that are depressed spend a lot of time trying not to look depressed.
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How And When To Talk
No single method of communication works for everyone. Consider how you usually talk to the person. Which method offers the most intimacy and fosters the deepest dialogue?
In a 2017 Kaiser Permanente poll, 86% of respondents said that face-to-face discussions of depression are the best option. However, some people may feel more comfortable texting.
There are some instances in which it is not helpful or advisable to talk about mental health issues. Some tips include:
- Do not bring up depression during a fight or a time of high stress.
- Do not use depression as a shaming tactic.
- Wait for a time when the person is reasonably calm.
- Do not talk to someone when they are distracted or tired.
- Avoid blindsiding the other person, such as by bringing depression up for the first time in a fight.
Look Out For Warning Signs And Act On Them
Occasionally, people with depression or bipolar disorder suffer from severe symptoms that are best helped by hospital admission.
If you are supporting someone with a mental illness, it is a good idea to prepare for a crisis before it happens. Find out who to contact and write a plan of what to do during a crisis, should it occur. Your plan should include helpful phone numbers, such as those of your friend’s doctor, family members and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK . If you find yourself in an emergency situation, ring 911.
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Offer To Talk Or Spend Time Together
While there’s no one answer for ‘what to do say to someone who is depressed’, its important to make sure that they know you are there for them, be it to talk or to just hang out.
You can also try to get them out of the house for a bit as long as coronavirus-friendly protocols are still possible. Suggest going for a walk together or grabbing a cup of coffee. “Depression often robs people of the desire to engage in activities that they had found rewarding in the past, so getting your depressed friend to re-engage is very helpful,” says Talley.
Still Take Time Out For Yourself
Helping somebody recover from a mental illness can be demanding and stressful. Make sure you set aside time to still do the things you want and need to do. If you ever feel overwhelmed, ring a general helpline such as the SAMHSA Treatment Referral Helpline 1800662-HELP who can provide you with support and advice. It may be good to connect with others in a similar situation as you, and numerous support groups are listed on Mental Health America’s webpage or you can join a relevant drugs.com support group.
- Parekh R. Warning Signs of Mental Illness. American Psychiatric Association. Updated July 2018. https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/warning-signs-of-mental-illness
- My Friend Has a Mental Health Disorder. How Do I Support Him/Her? CampusMindWorks Updated 2018. http://www.campusmindworks.org/students/helping/how_do_i_support.asp
- How To Help Someone In Crisis. Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. 2021 https://www.dbsalliance.org/support/for-friends-family/how-to-help-someone-in-crisis/
- Get Immediate Help. MentalHealth.Govt. Updated March 2020. https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help/
- SAMHSAs National Helpline. SAMHSA. Updated Jan 2021. http://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
What To Say Instead: Tell Me More About Whats Going On Help Me Understand
When living with depression, it can be easy to lose sight of who you are. It takes a long time to get to the stage where you stop showering and struggle to get up every morning, but it can be debilitating. When your friends or loved ones are trying hard to understand how youre feeling, it can go a long way in helping you to feel accepted for this newer version of yourself that depression has caused you to become.
How Can Talking To A Parent Help
It can feel like a big relief to have someone listen, hear you out, and show they care. Talking together can help you feel more hopeful. It lets you know you’re not alone. Someone believes in you and has your back.
Sometimes, a parent can help you see another angle to a problem you’re dealing with. They can give good advice. When you feel their support, it’s easier to think of ways to help yourself, too.
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Everyone Is Going Through Something
There are many potential causes of depression that go beyond a stressful life event.
Even though experts still cant point to the exact cause of the condition, theyve established a few contributing factors like:
- chemical imbalances in the brain
- side effects of medications
- physical conditions
Depression is not simply being sad sometimes, says Oddesty K Langham, a licensed clinical therapist in Birmingham, Alabama. It significantly impacts a persons ability to function and interact in life.
Even if life presents challenges to everyone, living with depression is different than facing difficulties or having a stressful day.
How Else Can Parents Help
Parents can help in lots of ways. Talk with them about what you want their help with. Here are some of the things parents can do to help. You might think of other things that aren’t on this list. But this list can give you and your parent some ideas.
- help you practice skills you learn in therapy
- remind you that they love and believe in you
- let you know they see the good in you, and are proud of you
- keep expecting good things from you
- talk through problems with you
- ask you about good things that happen in your day
- help with homework or projects you’re having trouble with, or get you a tutor
- hold you to your responsibilities at home and at school
- help you get enough exercise, sleep, and healthy food
- help you limit the time you spend on screens and social media
- help you wake up in the morning at the right time, but do it in a friendly way
- do things with you that you both enjoy walk, play a sport or game, watch a movie, do a craft, or cook
These things may seem simple, but they add up. They start to change the way you think and feel. They can lift your mood, and help you think better about yourself. They can help you and your parent feel close. That’s a recipe for feeling better, even if you’re going through depression.
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Tips For Overcoming Depression
Depression can feel impossible. You donât have to give in to depression and think that things wonât get better. Instead, use these tips to improve your outlook:
- Get help from a mental health professional.
- Maintain activities that you once enjoyed.
- Keep up with friends and family members by talking regularly.
- Get some exercise, even if you just go for a short walk.
- Keep a routine of getting enough sleep and maintaining a healthy diet.
- Adjust your expectations so you can cope with depression.
- Donât drink or do drugs as a way of treating your depression.â
- Search for local depression resources.
Remind Them That Theyre Not Broken
Someone who is depressed needs to know that feeling depressed is not a sign of a weak person or defective person.
Its just part of how some peoples brains are wired. Remind them that theyre not broken in any way. If youre close, hug them.
If they dont like to be touched, let them know that youre there for them anyway by saying, Depression is an actual health issue that can be treated. Youre not a burden to anyone and Im sure everything is going to be okay. I will be there for you. I will help you through the steps.
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How You Can Help
It might seem small, but just doing things together, being there and staying connected can be a big help.
Depression and anxiety are so common that its highly likely that at some point youll know someone who might be experiencing it. It might be someone in your whnau, a team-mate or someone from your community. People with depression and anxiety are more likely to get through with help and support than on their own.Being depressed and anxious can be a really lonely experience. Sometimes the most important thing is having supportive people around or checking in. Having a coffee, watching television, phoning or texting to say Hi can help a lot. When youre feeling down, knowing that people are thinking of you can really lift your spirits.Often when people are feeling bad they dont want to go out and do anything. Everything feels just too hard. So encouraging them to do something with you is a great support. It could be something small like watching funny video clips, listening to music, going for a walk or window-shopping. Think about something you both like to do. There are different things you can do, depending on who youre trying to help:
Things To Say To Someone With Depression
Having a supportive person to talk to when youre feeling depressed can really help ease the symptoms a little. There are no magic words that will make someone feel better and it can be tough to know what to say to someone that is suffering. In my opinion, avoiding the subject is the worst tactic. It breeds guilt within the sufferer and makes them feel like an outsider, which can end up pushing them further away.
When I feel helpless and upset its important that I feel comforted, even when I cant explain exactly what the problem is. If you know someone who deals with depression take the time to ask them if they are OK and tell them that youre there for them. Even these few simple words can make them feel less alone.
Here are some helpful things to say to someone who is struggling. This is by no means a complete list of what to say its just a few things that have worked for me.
Assure Them They’re Not Weak Or Defective
Those who are coping with depression tend to feel weak or that there is something wrong with them. While depression is an illness, those who live with it may feel that it’s a character flaw.
Reassure your friend that depression really is an illness caused by a biochemical imbalance in the brain, and it does not mean that they are weak. In fact, it takes a great deal of strength to fight back, so they are probably much stronger than they think they are.
Things To Say To A Suicidal Person
Many people desperately want to know what to say and what not to say to someone who is thinking of suicide. The article 10 Things Not to Say to a Suicidal Person is SpeakingOfSuicide.coms most popular post. Almost a half-million people have viewed it in the last 2½ years. Several hundred have left comments.
Sometimes people complain to me that the post describes what not to say, but it doesnt say enough about what to say. Theyre right. So in this post, I provide 10 things to say to a suicidal person.
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Dont Tell Them To Shake It Off
Why its harmful: When you tell someone to just shake off their depression, you trivialize their condition and deny their pain, according to Debbie Plotnick, the vice president for mental health and systems advocacy at Mental Health America, in Alexandria, VA. For people with depression, cheering up is not a simple task, and its important to recognize that they probably wish they could, too.
What to say instead: Im sorry youre not feeling well. Is there anything I can do to help?
They May Often Seem Exhausted Or Complain About Always Being Tired
A prevalent side effect of depression is constant exhaustion. Not everyone with the disorder struggles with it, but its extremely common. For those who experience this symptom with their depression, its often one of the hardest side effects to cope with.
Also, if someone is living with an undiagnosed depression disorder, the cause of their exhaustion can be baffling. They can get plenty of sleep each night and still wake up every morning feeling like they only slept a few hours. Worse, they may blame themselves, believing it to be laziness or some other personal fault thats causing their low energy levels.
This is also a symptom thats difficult to conceal for those who have been diagnosed with depression but are attempting to keep it from their peers, as it often affects their workload and personal relationships.
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You Cant Just Snap Out Of Depression
Well-meaning friends or family members may try to tell someone with depression to snap out of it, just be positive, or you can be happier if you just try harder. But depression is not a sign of a persons weakness or a character flaw. The truth is that most people who experience depression need treatment to get better.
If you are a friend or family member of a woman with depression, you can offer emotional support, understanding, patience, and encouragement. But never dismiss her feelings. Encourage her to talk to her health care provider, and remind her that, with time and treatment, she can feel better.
Encouraging Phrases To Say To A Person With Depression
Here are some phrases and ideas that might help you support a person you care about who has depression.
When youre using these, it can help to stay mindful of your context. Only say something if it feels like it makes sense in the situation, and always be genuine and keep an open mind.
Listen and be sensitive to the persons cues. If they dont seem receptive, consider trying at a different time or taking a different approach.
What Not To Say: Youre Being Selfish
Its a common misconception that people with depression are selfish, and let me tell you, this is the biggest BS ever. First, I think its vital to remember: depression is not a choice. No one chooses to feel the way they do, and by assuming that people are being intentionally depressed is a very childish approach to a very serious topic. No one with depression is choosing to behave the way they do.
Second, a person that is struggling with depression is probably already being incredibly hard on themselves. During my battle with mental health, I thought very negatively about myself. I would sit in silence, but inside my head, I would be listing all the reasons why suicide was a better option than living. I felt worthless every single day. I felt like a failure. I felt that I was a burden to those around me. I would have hated depression for making me feel that way, but depression doesnt give you room to think rationally. So chances are, the person you know with depression is waging a battle inside their head every single day. Nothing about them having depression is selfish. Mental health is an illness, remember that.
You Dont Walk This Path Alone Im Here If You Need Me
When a person is depressed, one of the feelings many people experience is an overwhelming sense of loneliness that no one can understand what theyre going through. They are all alone.
A reminder from a friend or loved one that, indeed, theyre not alone and they are loved can be invaluable. It also reminds them of the reality that people in their life do love them and are there for them if they need them.
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Dont Feel Sorry For Yourself
This is also a misunderstanding of where depression comes from. Clinical depression is different from getting the blues, and requires much more than a change in perspective to turn around.
As an alternative to telling your depressed friend to avoid feeling sorry for themselves, acknowledge that they are likely not able to think beyond the curtain of depression. Identify that it must be difficult to be forced into such a state of being.