Helping A Friend Or Family Member
You can play a key role in helping a person who is depressed:
- Be a good listener and avoid making any judgments.
- Encourage your friend or family member to get other help as well, and assist them in finding it.
- Offer to go with them to appointments.
- Stay in regular contact let them know youre there for them.
- Make plans together to do something fun.
- Stay alert for warning signs of suicidal behaviour . If there is an immediate risk, get them to a hospital emergency department, or call 911 right away.
Dont forget to look after yourself. Make sure to make time for yourself and your own wellness needs physical, emotional, social and seek extra support for yourself when you need it.
How To Talk About Depression With Family And Friends
by Yoho | Mar 8, 2019 | Conversation, Depression, Major Depression, Mental Illness, Relationships, Stigma, Symptoms, Treatment |
Due to the very nature of the subject, depression is often achallenging discussion topic. People are sometimes afraid that they will saythe wrong thing or misinterpret their words. The point of having theconversation is to have an open and honest talk about depression. The lastthing that is desired is for the conversation to be seen as too aggressive orinsensitive.
The Fear and Taboo ofDepression:
Misunderstanding about mood disorders can make someone experiencingdepression feel worse about themselves. These misunderstandings are remediedthrough education, versus staying silent and refusing to learn more about thecondition.
It is better to have a sincere conversation about depression, rather than simply ignore it and hope the condition cures itself and goes away. This topic, and its relation to suicide, is too important to ignore. The fear and perceived shame in talking about these topics are misplaced. The topic of depression is no longer considered a taboo subject.
Talking about depression will not make others catch thedisorder or worsen the symptoms of depression. People need to realize that depressionis a real medical issue, and not a personality flaw or sign of weakness. Thesemisconceptions encourage fear and anxiety in people who are experiencingdepression, but do not know where to turn or how to deal with their depressivethoughts.
What Does Psychodynamic Therapy Do
Psychodynamic therapy is a modern evolution of psychoanalysis, and it is similarly aimed at the development of insight into oneself, specifically understanding of the problem situations and personal vulnerabilities that set the stage for depression. The therapist takes an active role in guiding therapy, and the relationship between therapist and patient is a major conduit of recovery. While CBT and IPT are staunchly present-focused, psychodynamic therapy may examine current difficulties in the context of earlier life experiences and relationships.
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What Are The Symptoms Of Depression
Depression can affect your emotions, mind and body. Depression symptoms include:
- Feeling very sad, hopeless or worried.
- Not enjoying things that used to give you joy.
- Being easily irritated or frustrated.
- Eating too much or too little.
- Changes in how much you sleep.
- Having a difficult time concentrating or remembering things.
- Experiencing physical problems like headache, stomachache or sexual dysfunction.
- Thinking about hurting or killing yourself.
If you or someone you know has thoughts of hurting themselves, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800.273.8255. This national network of local crisis centers provides free, private emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
How Soon Will I Notice Any Effect
Research indicates that 50 percent of patients recover within 15 to 20 sessions, and many patients experience some improvement within a few sessions. Patients differ in the nature and severity of their problem and in their progress, but most patients experience a gradual return of ability to function. They also notice a lessening of hopelessness. The first sign that depression is improving may be a reduction in sadness or reduced pessimism about the future. There may be a lessening of irritability or a renewed interest in something once enjoyed. Feelings of guilt may also begin to abate.
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Can Any Type Of Therapy Help
For patients, recovery from depression requires understanding the kinds of events that precipitate a depressive response, awareness of their own psychological vulnerabilities, identifying distorted thinking patterns that lead to feelings of hopelessness, recognizing behavior patterns that exacerbate problems, developing problem-solving skills, and taking action even when they may not feel like it. An experienced therapist will gauge the best way to treat depression based on individual patient needs but incorporate all such goals into their treatment plan. However, there are several types of psychotherapy that specifically target one or more of these needs through treatment protocols that have been well-validated by extensive field-testing.
Im Really Sorry Youre Going Through This And Im Here For You If You Need Me
The fact is, theres no perfect thing to say to someone living with depression. Your words wont cure them. But they can help. Let them know that there is hope.
Reminding someone that youre there for them whenever they need you whether thats in the form of help with a small task or someone to call in a crisis can be so essential to saving a life.
According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, there are three categories of suicide warning signs to look out for:
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Psychological Depression Symptoms Include:
- doing poorly at work
- difficulties with your family or home life
It’s not always possible to tell that you’re having symptoms of depression right away it can start and progress gradually. A lot of people don’t realise they’re ill and try to carry on and cope with their symptoms. Sometimes it takes a friend or family member to notice that there’s a problem.
How To Talk To Friends About Your Depression
Deciding to tell the people you love that you’re struggling with depression is a big step. Not only is it challenging to find the energy to reach out to people, but there are naturally worries about how the news of your diagnosis will be received.
If you’re considering disclosing your diagnosis to the people close to you but just aren’t sure how to start the conversation, here are some things to consider.
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You’re Sleeping Too Much Or Too Little
Some people with depression find themselves sleeping more the disengagement and dip in energy make you tired all the time.
“Sleeping more is also a way depressed people escape from their sadness it becomes a refuge,” said Thomas.
Others with depression experience restless or interrupted sleep or even insomniathey’re too wired by obsessive thoughts or ruminations to wind down and score the seven to eight hours per night most adults need.
Sleep changes can help you know if you’re depressed but also worsen the depression. When you’re not getting the proper amount of shuteye, your body’s internal clock gets out of sync, and you’re even more tired and unfocusedand less able to cope.
Check Out Alternative Therapy Options Such As Online Counseling Or Group Therapy
Meeting a therapist in person isnt your only treatment option. If youre hesitant to travel, wary of crowded waiting rooms, or are looking for a more flexible therapy option, check out services like Talkspace, which offer various choices for remote text or video counseling. Theres also Talkspace: Self-Guided, a self guided therapy app that users to access online therapy on-the-go and at their own pace. Group therapy is another great option, especially if youre looking to build your interpersonal skills. Most therapists can recommend groups in your area that specialize in focusing on different issues, such as anxiety, eating disorders, grief, or others.
No matter why youre seeking counseling, talk therapy can likely help. As long as youre willing to put in the time and effort involved in this work of self-reflection and excavation, the rewards are rich.
There can be something really powerful about being able to say the thoughts in your head out loud to another person in a safe and non-judgmental space. Having your words and thoughts reflected back allows you to make connections, gain insight, and recognize behavior patterns. Thats the beauty of talk therapy.
DP. The American Mental Wellness Association» Talk Therapy. The American Mental Wellness Association. Accessed August 31, 2021.
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Why Is This Happening To Me
Your child might want to know the reasons why theyre experiencing depression when theyre friends are not.
Its a good idea to be honest with them and explain that you dont know the answer to that. Consider telling them that scientists are still trying to figure out why some people get depression and not others.
If theres one thing to stress during this conversation, its that having depression is not their fault. Try to remind them that they didnt do anything to cause depression but there are things they can try to get better.
How Else Can Parents Help
Even when you see a therapist, parents can still help in lots of ways. Talk with your parents about what you want their help with. Here are some of the things they can do. You might think of other things that aren’t on this list. But this list can give you and your parent some ideas.
Parents can:
- help you practice skills you learn in therapy
- remind you that they love and believe in you
- let you know they see the good in you, and are proud of you
- keep expecting good things from you
- talk through problems with you
- ask you about good things that happen in your day
- help with homework or projects you’re having trouble with, or get you a tutor
- hold you to your responsibilities at home and at school
- help you get enough exercise, sleep, and healthy food
- help you limit the time you spend on screens and social media
- help you wake up in the morning at the right time, but do it in a friendly way
- do things with you that you both enjoy walk, play a sport or game, watch a movie, do a craft, or cook
These things may seem simple, but they add up. They start to change the way you think and feel. They can lift your mood, and help you think better about yourself. They can help you and your parent feel close. Everything you try and do to help yourself feel better counts. It’s worth the time you spend doing it.
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What A Therapist Looks For
An evaluation with a mental health professional can give you more answers about your mental health, including a formal diagnosis.
To understand your symptoms and see whether theyre indicative of depression, a therapist will want to know how long your symptoms have lasted and how severely they impact your daily life. A major depressive episode must have lasted for at least two weeks for a therapist to make a diagnosis of a mental health condition.
To make an accurate and informed diagnosis, your therapist will also want to rule out other causes of your symptoms. They will likely ask you about:
- Grief from a recent loss
- Past or recent trauma, including physical or psychological abuse or injury
- Recent life changes, like pregnancy or divorce
- Substance abuse problems
- Your mental health history
Tip : Get A Daily Dose Of Sunlight
Sunlight can help boost serotonin levels and improve your mood. Whenever possible, get outside during daylight hours and expose yourself to the sun for at least 15 minutes a day. Remove sunglasses and use sunscreen as needed.
- Take a walk on your lunch break, have your coffee outside, enjoy an al fresco meal, or spend time gardening.
- Double up on the benefits of sunlight by exercising outside. Try hiking, walking in a local park, or playing golf or tennis with a friend.
- Increase the amount of natural light in your home and workplace by opening blinds and drapes and sitting near windows.
- If you live somewhere with little winter sunshine, try using a light therapy box.
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Encouraging The Person To Get Help
While you can’t control someone else’s recovery from depression, you can start by encouraging the depressed person to seek help. Getting a depressed person into treatment can be difficult. Depression saps energy and motivation, so even the act of making an appointment or finding a doctor can seem daunting to your loved one. Depression also involves negative ways of thinking. The depressed person may believe that the situation is hopeless and treatment pointless.
Because of these obstacles, getting your loved one to admit to the problemand helping them see that it can be solvedis an essential step in depression recovery.
If your friend or family member resists getting help:
Suggest a general check-up with a physician. Your loved one may be less anxious about seeing a family doctor than a mental health professional. A regular doctor’s visit is actually a great option, since the doctor can rule out medical causes of depression. If the doctor diagnoses depression, they can refer your loved one to a psychiatrist or psychologist. Sometimes, this professional opinion makes all the difference.
Offer to help the depressed person find a doctor or therapist and go with them on the first visit.Finding the right treatment provider can be difficult, and is often a trial-and-error process. For a depressed person already low on energy, it is a huge help to have assistance making calls and looking into the options.
Other Causes Of Depression
There are a number of things that can lead to developing depression.
- Stressful events big changes in your life, like bereavement, the end of a relationship or the loss of a job, can be difficult to deal with. When these things happen, it’s important to keep seeing friends and family instead of trying to deal with problems alone this increases your risk of developing depression.
- Giving birth pregnancy and birth can make some people vulnerable to depression. Postnatal depression can happen as the result of physical changes, hormonal changes, and the responsibility of taking care of a new baby.
- Loneliness your risk of depression gets higher if you aren’t in contact or spending time with family and friends.
- Personality some personality traits can put you at a higher risk of developing depression. These include low-self esteem or a habit of criticising yourself too much. These personality traits can come from your genes, which you get from your parents, or they can be as a result of experiences in your early life.
- Family history it’s more likely for someone to develop depression if a family member, like a sibling or parent, has experienced it before.
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How Can Talk Therapy Help Depression Patients
The symptoms of depression will manifest as physical, emotional, mental, and behavioral changes in the patient. One of the most common symptoms of the disorder is a pervasive feeling of self-loathing or low self-esteem. These feelings often influence the patient into thinking patterns of automatic, reflexive thoughts that are negative and maladaptive. For example, depression sufferers may feel like the world is an unsafe place full of harmful people, which can lead to isolation and social withdrawal. They may feel and think that life isnt worth living and that nothing they do matters. These thoughts can manifest as suicidal ideation, self-harm, failing to perform self-care, or missing work or school.
In talk therapy, these types of harmful, automatic thoughts are addressed. With guidance from a trained therapist, patients can look at and re-evaluate these thoughts from a realistic perspective. When these symptoms are resolved in a safe, confidential place like therapy, patients can begin the hard work of changing their behaviors once they acknowledge and deal with these maladaptive thoughts.
Can Therapy Help Someone Who Is Suicidal
Studies show that about 5 percent of depressed patient have thoughts about suicidesuicidal ideation. Suicide is seen as a way of escaping the mental pain of depression, which distorts patterns of thinking and feeling so that sufferers cannot see a way out their current state of mind or envision a future possibility of feeling better.
Good therapy includes a specific assessment of suicide risk separate from the depression evaluation. It also includes specific measures to manage the risk of suicide in the present and the future. Many therapists draw up anti-suicide pacts with their patients. A contract may be written or verbal but, either way, patients at risk agree to commit no self-harm and to call the therapist if they ever have thoughts of ending their life, or to call an emergency number such as 911. In addition, studies show that such widely used treatments for depression as cognitive behavioral therapy can be very helpful when adapted to specifically target the ways distorted thinking leads to depressive despair and thoughts of suicide.
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Why You Should Talk About Depression
Naturally, the prospect of disclosing your depression to other people is scary. You have no way of knowing for sure how they will respond. But choosing to tell the people closest to you about your diagnosis and your struggles can be very healing, especially if they offer support and encouragement.
In fact, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, simply talking to a sympathetic person can reduce your stress level and improve your mood.
Likewise, letting other people know about your depression provides a safety net of sorts, especially if your condition worsens or if you need help or support.
In some cases, you may even want to share your crisis plan with a few trusted friends or family friends. This way, they know how to respond if your depression hits crisis level or you start talking about suicide.