Practice These Coping Skills Every Day
I recommend doing many if not all of the following coping skills and techniques once a day when experiencing depression. Its important to know you probably wont be motivated to do any of them at first because depression frequently saps motivation. In other words, know that its normal to feel unmotivated until youre halfway done.
The patients I work with who frequently practice these coping skills get better.The seven techniques can be memorized with the acronym MY PEERS.
1. Meaning: Find small ways to be of service to others.
Find personal meaning by serving something larger than yourself. Remember service doesnt have to be big to count. Consider this, Success, like happiness, cannot be pursued it must ensue as the unintended side effect of ones personal dedication to a course greater than oneself. Viktor E. Frankl, Mans Search for Meaning
2. Your goals: Find workable goals that give you a sense of accomplishment.
Most people feel guilty when talking about goals because they set unreasonable or unworkable goals. A goal is workable if its:
If something goes wrong with your goal, adopt a what can I learn from this? attitude . Also, be careful when comparing your progress with others. We usually compare our biggest weakness with another persons biggest strength. This is unfair .
3. Pleasant Events: Schedule pleasant activities or events.
4. Engagement: Stay in the present.
Set One And Only One Goal For The Day
Having a seemingly infinite to-do list can often be a trigger for people who have depression, and one of the main reasons you donât want to start your day.
You may think, âThereâs no way it can all get done,â and that thinking turns into, âThereâs no point in even trying.â
Try to shift the perspective. Rather than thinking about a long list of tasks, which can be overwhelming, give yourself the permission to set only ONE goal for the day. Just one.
The freedom that comes from knowing that itâs a good day if you can accomplish one thing might just help you get out of bed to try.
Itâs a good idea to choose goals that youâll likely reach. Donât shoot for hitting spin class 4 times that week. Instead, maybe shoot for one spin class. Or even shoot to walk around the block once a day. You can work up from there.
Sometimes depression is tied to a situation partly in our control, like a dead-end job or tough roommate situation. âIf you find that a difficult life situation is partly fueling your depression, set a goal with a timeline to make a change,â Dr. Prior recommends.
Be mindful that the timeline isnât set in stone. To minimize any deadline-induced anxiety, allow flexibility to accomplish your goal as needed.
Look At Photos That Make You Smile
A bad depression day can be mentally exhausting. Depression often feeds and fuels negative self-talk, and you might be left feeling alone and isolated even though you have loved ones who care. Sometimes it is hard to overcome those symptoms to reach out to loved ones, and thats where looking at photos can be helpful.
Everyone has a massive camera roll. Open it up and look through various memories. On a better day, you might want to make a folder on your phone of photos that bring you joy, have printed photos on display, or have a digital photo frame rotating through a select set of images. This can be a terrific way to keep happy memories in the front of your mind.
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Assess The Parts Instead Of Generalizing The Whole
Depression can tinge recollections with difficult emotions. You may find yourself focusing on things that are unhelpful or perceived as difficult.
Try to stop this overgeneralization. Push yourself to recognize the good. If it helps, write down what was meaningful about the event or day. You can track what you achieved that day, and which activities were enjoyable.
Seeing the weight youre giving to one thing may help you direct your thoughts away from the whole and to the individual pieces that were helpful.
How Is Depression Diagnosed
To be diagnosed with depression, an individual must have five depression symptoms every day, nearly all day, for at least 2 weeks. One of the symptoms must be a depressed mood or a loss of interest or pleasure in almost all activities. Children and adolescents may be irritable rather than sad.
If you think you may have depression, talk to your health care provider. Primary care providers routinely diagnose and treat depression and refer individuals to mental health professionals, such as psychologists or psychiatrists.
During the visit, your provider may ask when your symptoms began, how long they last, how often they occur, and if they keep you from going out or doing your usual activities. It may help to make some notes about your symptoms before your visit. Certain medications and some medical conditions, such as viruses or a thyroid disorder, can cause the same depression symptoms. Your provider can rule out these possibilities by doing a physical exam, interview, and lab tests.
Read NIMHs Tips for Talking With Your Health Care Provider to help prepare for and get the most out of your visit. For additional resources, visit the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality website.
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Think About What You Could Be Angry At
While some experience depression as a continual state of sadness or increased painful emotions, some depression can come in the form of a state of numbnessa lack of feeling that weakens all excitement and smothers your potential to feel joy. Suppressing or cutting off emotions could be a defense against something you aren’t comfortable feeling. Many people who suffer from depression are actually masking a feeling of anger, turning their rage toward someone else on themselves. Anger can be a hard feeling to accept, as from a very young age we are often told it is bad to be angry, that we need to behave, and not to throw tantrums or get in fights. While acting abusive is never acceptable, feeling anger is a natural part of our everyday lives. By acknowledging and accepting or discussing your angry feelings, you are much less likely to turn these feelings against yourself or allow them to lead you into a depressed state.
Create A Wellness Toolbox
A wellness toolbox is a set of tools that you can use to help soothe yourself when you are feeling down.
The tools you find most helpful might not work for someone else so it’s important to carefully consider what things can help you feel your best.
Think of things you like to do when you’re happy. Then, when you’re feeling down, try one of those activities.
Cuddling your pet, listening to your favorite music, taking a warm bath, or reading a good book are just a few tools you might find helpful.
Create a list of the activities you might try when you’re feeling bad. Then, choose an activity to try when you’re having a particularly rough time.
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Away From Social Media
Dont worry, were not suggesting you delete your social apps permanently!
While its easy to recognize that social media connects us and makes it easier to establish and form real human connections, its also relatively easy to fall prey to the compare game. The one where we compare our lives to those on the highlight reel of social media.
Social media is often a carefully curated version of a persons best days, best memories, best outfits, etc. When a person is feeling the symptoms of their depression beginning to intensify, it would be best to put their phone down and take a break.
Social media can be a long, dark rabbit hole when a person is struggling to manage their depression symptoms. For example, you might be wondering if your photo received enough likes, and comparing your life to a social media account can significantly worsen your symptoms.
Sometimes, what were looking for from social media is validation and acceptance. We want the world to tell us that our OOTD is so chic or that our home decor is perfect. So thats why we post it, right? Were creatures that crave external validation, and on a bad depression day, its best to just get out of that headspace altogether.
If you find that social media is often triggering your symptoms of depression. It might be time to unfollow accounts that dont make you feel good, limit how much time you spend on them, and follow accounts that show real, accurate versions of their lives and diversify your feed.
How To Get Out Of A Depressive Episode
Before you can understand how to get yourself out of a depressive episode, you need to recognize depression.
Depression is a mental illness that impacts practically every aspect of life, including your relationships, work, social life, mood, and daily activities.
People who are depressed often experience persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, emptiness, and tearfulness. There can also be emotions like restlessness, irritability, frustration, anxiety, agitation, or anger. It is not unusual to lose interest in routine activities like work, hobbies, and sex during a depression episode.
Besides mood changes, depression can also cause physical symptoms such as lack of energy, difficulty sleeping, problems concentrating, and changes in appetite and weight.
In its most severe form, depression can be associated with thoughts of harming oneself, death, and suicide.
To be considered depression, these symptoms must be present nearly all the time, every day, for at least two weeks.
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Get Ahead Of Relapse: Identify Early Warning Signs
These are different for everyone.
Mine are extreme tiredness, avoidance, cancelling plans, isolating, and letting self-care slip â not eating properly, not being able to shower because I can’t move, not being able to leave the house.
It’s helpful to tell people I trust what my signs are â it increases the chances of getting help sooner if others observe a change in my behaviour before I do.
I can even plan ahead and be specific about how I’d like to be told about this, for example a text message, a chat over coffee, a message iced on a cake .
Favorite Apps Products And Gadgets
If youre feeling sad, lonely, or stressed, the 7 Cups app could provide you with online therapy and emotional support. With180 professional therapists and more than 300,000 trained listeners and licensed therapists, youll be able to speak to someone 24/7 in a confidential setting.
This app offers activities and games to overcome negative thoughts. Youll receive a happiness score that you can improve each time you play. Its based on effective, evidence-based psychological strategies. The company says 86 percent of those who use the app report feeling better about their lives after just two months.
If you suffer from seasonal affective disorder , bright light therapy may help improve your symptoms. We like the Verilux HappyLight Lucent 10,000 Lux LED Bright White Light Therapy Lamp. Its compact and portable, so you can use it on the go. And it received an average of 4.5 stars on Amazon reviews. The cost is around $45.
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Take A Different View
With depression often comes a psychological myopia: the sufferer robotically repeats to him or herself soul-sucking negative thoughts: Nothing I try ever works out How could I have been so stupid? I am not worthy of being loved. A patient deep in the throes of that kind of thinking can, if unchecked, spend an entire session staring at one spotoften the floor.
At those moments I prod, You are so stuck on only seeing things one way that you miss any other possible view. Literally. If you force yourself to look up, there are a variety of objects in the room to observe and pondera bookcase lamps: paintings a window with sunlight streaming in… Its not that my office is so fascinating, but there is so much you miss when you refuse to look. The patient then sheepishly lifts his or her eyes to take in the entirety of the room as I hammer home the point: There are a plethora of ways to view anything. Instead of continually convincing yourself everything is hopeless consider all the other options. There is always a Plan B.
Tell Me Something Good
A depressed person has earned a PhD in The Art and Science of Self-Hatred. When I ask, How do you see yourself? I get answers like: Im boring. Im a coward. Im ugly. Im not smart. To the speaker, these sentiments are absolute truths his or her sense of identity, a soul-less place to live that is familiar, thus offering a comfortable discomfort, with no exit door. As long as these annihilating beliefs rule your self-image, nothing good can break through. When I ask, Tell me good qualities about yourself, I am initially greeted by silence. Then I hear a halting, Im kind or Im caring.
If the patient gets stuck, I help out: Youre a loving mother. You are a survivor. You are a nurturer You are super considerate. You are reliable As we construct a list, I ask the patient to write down the wonderful attributes and keep repeating them when the toxic wheel of self-hating talk begins. I suggest asking friends and family members to email a list of positive qualities they value in my patient. The next step will be to compile, print out the list and carry it in your wallet like a talisman.
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Exercise Is Something You Can Do Right Now To Boost Your Mood
Your fatigue will improve if you stick with it. Starting to exercise can be difficult when youre depressed and feeling exhausted. But research shows that your energy levels will improve if you keep with it. Exercise will help you to feel energized and less fatigued, not more.
Find exercises that are continuous and rhythmic. The most benefits for depression come from rhythmic exercisesuch as walking, weight training, swimming, martial arts, or dancingwhere you move both your arms and legs.
Add a mindfulness element, especially if your depression is rooted in unresolved trauma or fed by obsessive, negative thoughts. Focus on how your body feels as you movesuch as the sensation of your feet hitting the ground, or the feeling of the wind on your skin, or the rhythm of your breathing.
Pair up with an exercise partner. Not only does working out with others enable you to spend time socializing, it can also help to keep you motivated. Try joining a running club, taking a water aerobics or dance class, seeking out tennis partners, or enrolling in a soccer or volleyball league.
Take a dog for a walk.If you dont own a dog, you can volunteer to walk homeless dogs for an animal shelter or rescue group. Youll not only be helping yourself but also be helping to socialize and exercise the dogs, making them more adoptable.
Getting Out Of A Funk: How To Help Yourself Through Depression
Everyone has off days where they feel tired, irritable, and sad. Its normal to feel sadness as a response to challenging life events, loss, or changes, but sometimes these feelings can stick around for a while if left unaddressed and make it difficult for you to get through each day.
Heres how you can tell when youre in a funk or maybe even experiencing a mild depression as well as what you can do to help yourself feel better.
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Depression: Recognizing Unusual Symptoms
One reason depression can be hard to identify is that its signs can vary widely from person to person and sometimes be masked by atypical symptoms. For example, some people who are depressed may show it by acting disgruntled, resentful, or irritable. In fact, aggression including outright acts of violence can be indicative of hidden depression, according to a February 28, 2017, report in Psychiatric Times. Depression masquerading as anger may seem surprising at first, but not when you consider that several underlying factors, including alcohol or substance abuse and childhood trauma, have been linked to both.
Similarly, although its not clear why, a person who experiences anxiety is at high risk for developing depression, and vice versa. The National Alliance on Mental Illness reports that as many as 60 percent of people with anxiety will also have symptoms of depression the same goes for people with depression having symptoms of anxiety. Experts say there is often a genetic predisposition for these co-occurring disorders.
Depression may also manifest psychosomatically, meaning that instead of presenting first and foremost as a mood disorder, the dominant symptom may be things like vague aches, dizziness, headaches, digestive problems, or back pain, according to the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry. Complicating matters is that its often hard to know whether depression is causing the physical symptoms, or if the physical symptoms are causing depression.
How To Get Out Of Depression
Getting out of depression can seem impossible. Depression has many negative effects. It can completely change someones life and rob him of the person he thought he was. Happily, that person isnt gone. That person is smothered under the weight of depression. The following ideas for how to get out of depression can be effective strategies for overcoming depression.
- Embrace and work with your strengths
- Listen
- Operate from the perspective of gratitude
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Depression Wants You To Be Alone So Don’t Be Alone
Depression wants me all to itself. Depression says I deserve to be alone. Depression wants to sing Mariah Carey’s I’ll Be There to me at our commitment ceremony.
Depression knows I can’t get out of bed or shower to get ready for a commitment ceremony. Depression says, “Don’t worry! I’ll come to you.”
Now when I feel like hiding from everyone, I ask myself if it’s because depression wants me to stay unwell.
When family, friends, colleagues reach out to see if I’m OK, I remind myself that once I’m spending time with them â Connection, Enjoyment â I generally feel better.
I also remind myself that it’s all the people around me â family, friends, colleagues, nurses, doctors, specialists â and their companionship, unwavering care, and kindnesses that make it possible to live a life and not merely endure a condition.