Avoid Judgment And Blame
If someone you love is depressed and no longer able to do the activities they used to, including working or helping around the house, you may feel like they are lazy. When you get frustrated, try to remember that someone who is depressed isn’t lazythey’re ill.
Everyday activities like cleaning the house, paying bills, or feeding the dog may seem overwhelming, if not impossible, to someone who is depressed. If your loved one’s responsibilities around the house are piling up, you may not be able to take them on yourself.
In addition to resisting the urge to blame your loved one, try not to blame yourself either. Know that it’s OK if you need to ask for help.
You Are Trying To Tell Someone Their Brain Is Sick And Expecting Their Sick Brain To Comprehend And Agree With That
Its kind of a tall order.
And the thoughts I have on the matter dont really make the issue sparkle either. Because lets face it, the person either listens to you or they dont, and really, they have the right to do either one. Heres a bit of reality on convincing a loved one to get help for a mental illness.
And for the record, even if you dont immediately succeed, many of us first hear about our mental illness from a friend, but sometimes that takes a while to sink in.
Once youve read this article, you might also want to check out this book for many more ideas about convincing someone to get help for a mental illness.
Minimizing Or Comparing Their Experience
If your friend talks about their depression, you might want to say things like, I understand, or Weve all been there. But if youve never dealt with depression yourself, this can minimize their feelings.
Depression goes beyond simply feeling sad or low. Sadness usually passes fairly quickly, while depression can linger and affect mood, relationships, work, school, and all other aspects of life for months or even years.
Comparing what theyre going through to someone elses troubles or saying things like, But things could be so much worse, generally doesnt help.
Your friends pain is whats real to them right now and validating that pain is what may help them most.
Say something like, I cant imagine how hard that is to deal with. I know I cant make you feel better, but just remember you arent alone.
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Do Not Treat Them Differently
Your friend is still your friend. They still have their memories, relationships, and feelings intact. Their functioning might be slightly different, but they still hold close to their loved ones dearly.
Keep in mind that it will not be easy for your friends family to accept such circumstance as well. Assure them that you will also be keeping in touch regularly to check on them vis-a-vis their relationship with your friend and their well-being. Doing so can foster a sound environment for your friends speedy recovery and minimizes the potential damage that the sickness may bring.
Ideas To Help Your Loved Ones Accept Treatment
About a year ago, a reporter from the Wall Street Journal called me and asked, “What is the one thing I can tell a depressed person to convince that person to accept treatment?”
The one thing? I told her that each person is unique. What works for one might be damaging for another, not unlike parenting. There is no “one thing.” She didn’t like my answer. She wanted a sound bite, a magic bullet. Not surprisingly, I didn’t make her column.
The reporter’s question reminded me of a Viktor Frankl quote about a person’s search for life’s meaning. Frankl reminds us that as life and circumstances change, our purpose for being changes. Asking someone her purpose in life is analogous to asking a master chess player, “What’s your best move?” The answer depends on the environment and the person. The pieces and their position on the board determine the optimal approach.
Yes, all people are unique, but there seem to be five phases of depressionmanagement, not unlike the phases of grief. Sometimes these phases don’t go in order and sometimes a single person bounces back and forth between the phases. So I still hold that there is no one thing. But, it seems reasonable to suggest some things that work and might be leveraged in different situations.
Phases of Depression Management
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Tips For Helping A Depressed Teen
If you are concerned that your teen may be depressed, but they appear uninterested in getting help or perhaps outright refuse it, there are steps that you can take to help them. Proceed with gentle but firm methods to persuade your teen to get help. These varied approaches have all been effective in helping depressed teens move forward.
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Having this conversation can be challenging, and you dont know how they will react to your suggestions. As a mental health professional, one question that I am asked most frequently is How do I convince my loved one to seek professional help?. Usually, I say there is no one answer to it and that you need to understand every situation to assess how to go about it. However, in this article, we will touch upon some good practices for initiating this conversation with a loved one.
There are different reasons why people delay seeking treatment. Self-reliance is deeply embedded in our culture, especially if we are going through troubling times. Some factors that deter people from seeking treatment or delaying it include denial of any need for treatment, lack of awareness about mental health problems, financial constraints and stigma around mental health concerns . Studies suggest that highly resistant people may be willing to seek professional help when the mental health symptoms become severe or when they start experiencing a higher level of disability . When it comes to convincing loved ones to seek therapy, intimate partners, close family members and general Physician have been found to be most influential . This brings us to the primary question of how to convince someone to seek professional help. Here are some ways in which you can encourage your loved ones to seek help.
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How Else Can Parents Help
Even when you see a therapist, parents can still help in lots of ways. Talk with your parents about what you want their help with. Here are some of the things they can do. You might think of other things that aren’t on this list. But this list can give you and your parent some ideas.
- help you practice skills you learn in therapy
- remind you that they love and believe in you
- let you know they see the good in you, and are proud of you
- keep expecting good things from you
- talk through problems with you
- ask you about good things that happen in your day
- help with homework or projects you’re having trouble with, or get you a tutor
- hold you to your responsibilities at home and at school
- help you get enough exercise, sleep, and healthy food
- help you limit the time you spend on screens and social media
- help you wake up in the morning at the right time, but do it in a friendly way
- do things with you that you both enjoy walk, play a sport or game, watch a movie, do a craft, or cook
These things may seem simple, but they add up. They start to change the way you think and feel. They can lift your mood, and help you think better about yourself. They can help you and your parent feel close. Everything you try and do to help yourself feel better counts. It’s worth the time you spend doing it.
Convince A Person To Get Help For Mental Health Issues
By Stan Popovich Written on Feb 12, 2013
When I began my struggle with fear and anxiety, the first thing I did was to seek help from a mental health professional. I realized that in order to deal with my fears effectively, I had to educate myself on the techniques that were available in dealing with my fears.
Many people who struggle with addiction, depression, anxiety and other mental health issues refuse to seek help. There are many reasons why these people do not get the help they need to get better. Many family members who see their loved ones struggle have a very difficult time in getting their loved ones assistance.
From my personal experiences, this is what I would to do to help convince someone who is struggling with their mental health to seek help.
The first thing I learned is you need to talk to the person, not talk at them.
Nobody likes to be lectured and no one wants to be talked to as if they are a little kid. Talking to the person is very important. The next step I think is very helpful is to determine why the person who is struggling refuses to get help. A few main reasons why someone wont get help in my opinion is because they are scared, they are frustrated, or they feel they dont need help.
I would also do a family intervention.
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How To Convince The Man In My Life To Go To Therapy
Sometimes life throws a curveball, and everything feels a bit off-kilter. At times like this, relationships can get dicey, especially if money is an issue and employment woes are at the forefront. For many people, recent developments such as heighted confinement at home have contributed to emotional, psychological, even physical difficulties that result in or exacerbate substance abuse, problem drug or alcohol use, and frayed family and personal dynamics. If this strikes a chord, are you looking for ways to get your man to go to therapy?
Findings from a study by BMJ Open, an online journal, already showed soaring increases in the diseases of despair, including substance abuse, suicidal thoughts/behaviors, and alcohol dependency covering the years 2009-2018. The current pandemic only exacerbates the trend toward increasing diseases of despair.
Make A Plan For Recognizing A Relapse
When youre in it for the long haul with someone who has depression, its important to understand that depression is a chronic illness with symptoms that can flare up periodically, just like you might expect with physical conditions like heart disease or diabetes.
Knowing and accepting that there will be ups and downs can help mitigate any personal frustration one may experience when dealing with a depressed loved one, Thames say. Family members or loved ones dealing with someone who has depression may want to seek out personal therapy to help them cope and adjust to the person’s mood.
Although depressive episodes can go into remission with proper treatment, the potential for future relapses can take a toll on relationships, says Thienhaus. That makes it important to talk to your loved one when theyre in remission so that together you can form a plan for how to recognize and respond quickly when a relapse is on the horizon.
Recognizing the early signs is important in order to gently intervene, Thienhaus says.
You can also encourage lifestyle habits that may help keep depression at bay, Riba says, such as:
- Healthy eating and exercise habits
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When A Depressed Person Refuses Your Help
Often when you try to help someone who is depressed, your help is declined or nothing you do seems to help. You end up feeling rejected and discouraged that there is nothing more you can do.
Depressed people may reject your help because they feel they should be able to help themselves, and feel worthless when they can’t. Instead, they may withdraw or start an argument in an effort to resolve their difficulties. In addition, people with depression have negative thoughts and feel so hopeless that they do not see recovery as a reality.
Fifty percent of people with bipolar disorder have a lack of insight , so they do not realize they are ill. For example, people with bipolar disorder may believe they are a “high-energy person.” This makes family involvement in seeking and managing treatment even more critical.
With these difficulties in mind, what can you do if your help is turned away?
Helping someone who is depressed and reluctant to seek treatment can be very trying and frustrating. As much as possible, try to enlist the aid of family members, friends, and medical professionals in this process.
Why Is It Difficult For Someone To Seek Professional Care
If you are married to a man whos been having problems with alcohol or drugs, you may be asking yourself, How can I get my husband to go to therapy? While its not only men who may be reluctant to get professional help, many men can fall into this category. They may think they are capable of handling anything that has to do with their drinking, drug use, anger, depression, or another behavioral or mental health issue. The fact that negative consequences mount does not seem to have any bearing on this inaccurate belief.
Other barriers to seeking professional care when a husband or boyfriend needs therapy include:
- Cost of therapy/treatment
- Having to face their fears
- Worry about not being able to take care of obligations
- Fear about the loss of stature in the family
- Fear others will lose respect
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Talking To Parents About Depression
If you feel depressed, alone, or are having a problem you can’t solve, you need to reach out for help and support. Talk to a parent or to another trusted adult in your life, like a school counselor, teacher, pastor, or coach. Let them know what you’re going through.
Physically Join Your Friend On His Or Her First Trip To The Psychologist
Either good news or bad news, your friend needs a trusted buddy to accompany them during their visit to the professional. Their decision might still change even after the minute they step into the clinic, so your role during this day will not just be about your company instead, you become a massive push to your friends recovery. The following will guide you on what to do during the visit:
- Personally introduce your friend to the doctor to help them open up in a clinic setting. Initially, your friend will think of them as a stranger so it would be beneficial if there is someone who can ward off the uncomfortable atmosphere.
- Aside from the tests to be conducted to your pal, the attending psychologists will also spend time talking to you and give you pointers on how to help your friend get over this illness. The doctor shall also inform you about their findings such as emotional triggers and mental health history.
- The psychologist will be relying on you for updates or when they deem check-up is necessary. Save their contact details in your phone or address book this may also come in handy when another friend needs help.
- Inquire about the necessity for some de-stressing routines such as taking a break from work or school, having a vacation, or performing leisure activities.
- Take note of the doctors recommendation such as the amount of exercise and details in the prescription like the name of medicines, dosage per intake, and frequency.
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How To Convince Someone To Go To Therapy
Its hard to watch someone we care about struggle with mental health. Its even worse when you know they can benefit from professional help. Encouraging someone to seek therapy can be a sensitive situation. If you approach the conversation the wrong way, you could turn the person against the idea of therapy. However, there are effective methods to use during this conversation.
Here are a few steps you can take to tell your loved one about the benefits of seeking therapy.
Helping A Depressed Person Receive Treatment For Depression
When helping a depressed person, here’s how families and friends can convince their loved ones to get treatment for depression.
Helping people with depression get treatment is so important, but families and friends often are unsure how to convince their loved ones to see a medical professional. In a compassionate way, explain to the person that you are concerned that he or she is showing, a treatable medical condition. Often, people with depression feel very relieved to learn that they are suffering from a medical condition. Ask the person to see a medical professional, offer to make an appointment, and go with the person or call the doctor in advance to state the person’s symptoms.
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What To Do When They Dont Want Help
Seeing a loved one suffer is hard. Its common and natural to want to fix things for our loved ones. Being around them can also be hard when taking care of someone wears you out. Something needs to change soonotherwise youre also not sure how much more you can take.
If youre trying to help someone who doesnt want help, it probably feels frustrating, exhausting, scary and out of your control.
People are naturally inclined to want to control aspects of their lives. This is true for you and for your family member. The more we push at times, the more likely the other person will withdraw or double down on taking control of their own life. Think of a time where you wanted to make a changemaybe lose weight or eat better. The more someone asks about our food habits or whether we worked out that day, the more irritated we become and were more likely to resist making good choices.
Struggling in recovery is a natural experience. Its useful to use these experiences as learning moments. Its also messy and takes time. Sometimes good choices are madeand sometimes really bad choices are made. But hopefully with the right support, we get where we need to be.
Here are a few things to consider when working with your loved one who doesnt want help: